Valentine's Elf: variation on a theme

There is a young woman that I meet with weekly. She is in college. She and her boyfriend are planning their future together. She has lots of dreams in her heart that she'd like to make reality. During one of our meetings we were talking about the importance of kindness. I shared with her what my mentor Premdas shared with me...Acts 1:1. We are charged to follow Jesus example by doing and teaching - in that order.

She had no idea about my annual Valentine's tradition of delivering roses. But she told me she had been thinking about Acts 1:1 and decided to buy 75 roses to deliver to her neighbors on Valentine's Day. On this day, I became her apprentice. V-day morning I showed up at her house. We made a small card for each one and delivered them to homes in her neighborhood. While most people weren't home, we hoped it would bless the residents when they arrived.

Following her lead, I bought some roses and gave them to my neighbors that evening when I got off work. I received a BIG hug in response from my next door neighbor who is a single mom from Ghana.

I love this tradition and have kept it alive for many years, in various forms, depending on where we lived and what was available to me. This year, frankly, I was discouraged and wondering if any of my efforts to make the world a better place have been worth it or if I was just wasting time and energy. I had no intentions of keeping my tradition this year. I just didn't have the heart...that was until I heard Jo's plan. Her plan became my plan. Instead of one there were two of us conspiring to bless others. It was a lot of fun and was the highlight of my week.

Thank you, Johanna, for encouraging my heart and carrying on the Valentine's Elf tradition...without even knowing the tradition existed.

just Sheri, a reinvigorated Valentine's Elf

What would you do for love? part 2

In a previous post I asked the question: "what would you do for love?" At the time, we were making a sacrificial choice for family born of the heart. I deeply love this family, they are still an important part of my life.

Some folks questioned this choice, asking why any of this was my responsibility. They often told me the responsibility should belong to someone else. I wrote about this in a post titled, who's responsible?

I am facing a similar situation today. There has been a young woman who recently entered our lives. She is experiencing a tough time. In recent months we have provided food, shelter, rides, and companionship. It doesn't matter that we are not related and, frankly, didn't know one another a couple of months ago.

I believe when someone is in need we should do what we can to help them. I am trying to live out that belief. Is it easy? Not at all. Is it rewarding? Rarely. Is it important? I believe it is of the utmost importance -a matter of life and death - and of eternal value.

I write this post, not to brag on myself - but to encourage others to do what they can for another. It matters a LOT. Be there for someone. They need you.

just Sheri, attempting to be there for another

Kindness Boomerang video

What church are you with?

In November, a few friends and I participated in a random act of kindness. We made some welcome home baskets for families who had been displaced by flooding last year and are now returning to their renovated homes. During the delivery of these baskets to homes, one of the families asked: "what church are you with?"

Well, we weren't with any one church. My two friends each attend different church buildings on Sunday, I myself am currently in what I call a "displaced" state (not feeling at home in any one place).

I have contemplated this question quite a bit in the weeks that followed - what church are you with?

Isn't the church made up of people? My friends and I - we ARE the church. 

Why does it matter that we don't have a clearly defined institution to affiliate with? We are Christ's ambassadors; not marketing agents for a particular building/denomination/pastor. The glory (or credit) should be attributed to Christ alone.

I think the next time I am asked this question, I will smile and say, "we are here because God loves you and He asked us to show you that love today."

We, you and me, ARE the church. God isn't interested in a building, or titles, but the condition of our hearts. 

What have you done recently to show Christ's love to another?

just Sheri, ambassador for Christ

Quotable Quotes: Gandalf the Grey

I agree with Gandalf:

Image: by Cynthia Blair via Creative Commons

"Saruman believes it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay. Small acts of kindness and love."

 ~ Gandalf the Grey in "The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey"

Everyday Heroes

This weekend I met two women worth writing about. The first survived an extremely violent marriage and has dedicated her life to helping single mothers of all backgrounds.

The second declared, "I love the elderly!" She then told a story of how after work, she visited daily with a woman in a nursing home. The two women were not related. The protagonist of my story knew the elderly woman's family lived out of state and didn't want her to be lonely. This was particularly impressive to me as I had been at an assisted living facility last week for work and saw the residents light up when visitors came.

The gift of your time can make a HUGE difference! Giving time to something you're passionate about changes the world.

just Sheri, excited to hear about folks living out their passion

NOTE: the Everyday Heroes series on this blog is an idea to share stories of normal people engaging in acts of kindness. I want to draw attention to kindness because I believe it is what changes the world.

Everyday Heroes: layaway

News worth sharing:
Anonymous donors pay strangers' layaway accounts

NOTE: The Everyday Heroes series is intended to draw attention to kindness. It's purpose is to share stories of normal people engaging in acts of kindness. Why? Because I believe kindness is what changes the world.

Everyday Heroes: generosity for a stranger

I heard a story on the radio recently that is worth repeating.

There is a family somewhere in America who has been struggling with unemployment. Both parents lost their jobs within a few months of one another. They have continued to look for work, but nothing has materialized for TWO years!

They used their severance to pay bills. When that ran out they tapped savings, then retirement. They have depleted their resources and have been unable to pay the mortgage on their home. This is not an uncommon story in the USA these days. What happens next is uncommon and is the reason for this post.

This families story was featured on the news during a report on the economy. A stranger was sitting in their living room watching the news report. The stranger didn't think, "wow, that's awful. I am glad that's not me (or us)." Something about the look on the teenage daughters face in the unemployed family moved this stranger to action.

The stranger is a father, a business owner - and the business is doing well. This man who was sitting in his comfortable home watching a news report, decided to do something. Do something - he did. He committed to pay the mortgage for this family. Not just so they don't get kicked out right now. He is going to pay the mortgage for TWO years!

WOW!

just Sheri, awed by the generosity of a stranger

NOTE: The Everyday Heroes series is intended to draw attention to kindness. It's purpose is to share stories of normal people engaging in acts of kindness. Why? Because I believe kindness is what changes the world.

International Literacy Day

Each year this date (September 8) is set aside to focus attention on worldwide literacy needs. I have posted about this topic recently here and here.

To be honest, literacy was not something I cared passionately about until I experienced it first-hand. I took for granted that I had been afforded educational opportunities. I was blind to my own privilege. Literacy first struck me when I was working at headquarters in a traveling job. One of the orphan care projects our department was involved with included literacy in the project activities. On one of my visits to Liberia to visit the work, I was standing in a field where families had spent grueling hours to cultivate the land. I was impressed by the amount of effort they had put in and how they were sharing their harvest with the vulnerable...but that isn't what left the biggest impression on me.

Not even close. I had an experience that day that left a permanent imprint on my mind and heart. It was given to me by this woman in the picture.

When asked what the project has meant to her, what difference it has made in her life? She didn't talk about food provision or vocational training, instead she said, "I am learning to read." She then described to me with such joy what that gift has meant to her well being and the difference it has made in the care of her children. She stood straight and tall, with dignity and a sense of accomplishment and spelled her name for me.  I will never forget the look on her face (not captured in a photo, only in my mind's eye).  It reduced me to tears. Just thinking about it still makes me emotional. That day, I witnessed the life changing power of literacy.

Then I was afforded another powerful learning opportunity.  I lived in a foreign land where the alphabet looks like this:

I always found it beautiful to look at, like a work of art, but I had no hope of being able to read and understand it.  I experienced the challenges of being illiterate - the struggles to get through daily tasks, the coping skills that must be developed in order to function, the feelings of vulnerability at not understanding and the frustration of it all.

I hope to NEVER forget these lessons that life has afforded me.  It is why I give time each week to a student as part of the Literacy Volunteers of America program.  It is why I am dedicating today's blog post to the topic of literacy.

Help someone learn to read, write or do arithmetic...you will change their life for the better!

Do you have a story about literacy that you would like to share?

just Sheri, no longer blind to my privilege in the area of literacy

Everyday Heroes: active father's

This summer I spent a lot of time outdoors. Many days in a week you could have found me exploring our new surroundings on foot...walking, walking, walking.  I think walking is a great way to learn a place.

I noticed something on my walk-abouts...there were lots of dads spending time with their kids. I saw dad's fishing, golfing, playing tennis or riding bikes. One of my favorites was a dad following his daughter around the lake in a kayak. She went through the tall grass intentionally.  He followed behind, trying to keep up.

Those dad's are creating a great foundation for their children to launch in to the world. They are creating a sense of safety and stability. They are fostering a sense of adventure...and of course modeling an active lifestyle.

Mom's get a lot of much deserved credit in raising kids. But, dad's are NOT insignificant. They play an important role too. I was glad to see so many active father's. I decided they deserve a nod of recognition because they are everyday heroes.

just Sheri, applauding from the side-lines (sometimes literally)


NOTE: The Everyday Heroes series is intended to draw attention to kindness. It's purpose is to share stories of normal people engaging in acts of kindness. Why? Because I believe kindness is what changes the world...father's giving their time and attention to their children is an act of kindness.

you never know...

Last week I was floored by the wonders of technology...and God's provision for our needs.  I received a friend request from a former colleague from across the globe.  He asked if I remembered him.  Of course I did, he was part of our leadership team for a large multi-national HIV prevention effort.  I saw him many years in a row at our annual meeting and a couple of times in the field on one of my many world tours.

I suppose it is human nature to wonder if what we do makes a difference.  I have felt that the time in my old life was cut short, prematurely. I have thought that it just wasn't long enough to have an impact. I needed more time to go deeper in relationships. More time to genuinely share life together - the highs and lows.

Then, unexpectedly, I receive an answer to a question I never asked out loud - was it worth it? Did it make a difference? Did it even matter at all?

It is rare that we get to know the impact of our efforts in Kingdom work...that is unless some kind soul tells us. This week I received that gift. There are lessons this individual learned from my words, and so many more he learned from observation when I didn't know anyone was watching. He told me that he has shared these lessons with many others since then. I had no idea. None. It left me in tears.

Through the wonders of technology, I received a communication from a far-away land that touched my heart and encouraged my soul...and reminded me of something VERY important.

I'm convinced that we can write and live our own scripts more than most people will acknowledge. I also know the price that must be paid. It's a real struggle to do it...It involves living a life of integrity, starting with making and keeping promises, until the whole human personality, the senses, the thinking, the feeling and the intuition are ultimately integrated and harmonized. Stephen Covey (born 1932 ) U.S. author, speaker, consultant, management-expert

Just so we are clear, I have not attained this goal. It is a constant, daily journey. It is a choice and a struggle against internal and external forces that pull in other directions. I share this publicly because I was reminded of the priceless value of a life lived with integrity. There are so many I have learned from, often through observation. I should tell them what the example of their life has meant to me...

What have you learned by watching others?

just Sheri, a work in progress grateful for encouragement

open door policy

Do you remember that children's song about the church and the steeple? It was always accompanied by fun hand motions.

Here's the church...Here's the steeple...Open the doors and see all the people.

Over the years I have spent quite a few hours thinking about a particular question - what is church? I've come to a few conclusions. 

1. Church is not a building, though that is the name we call it. 

2.  "The church" is made up of the last part of the rhyme - people. 

3.  Everything else is just a human creation; such as the building that houses the church.

I have had the privilege of attending church around the globe. This opportunity only further solidified these conclusions for me. 

Church can be held anywhere, at any time. Church can meet under a tree. Church can meet in a basement of an office building. Church can meet in homes or schools. Church is not the building - it is the people. Which I think is pretty amazing.

The other thing I've learned is the people are not one type, make, or creed. The church is diverse; made up of different colors, languages and traditions. To me that means the God we serve is bigger than my geographic location or culture.

One of the major criticisms of "the church" is all the money poured in to facilities. It is expensive to construct a building, maintain it, and keep the lights on. The worst part is, that after all that expense the building is often used infrequently. That is an unfortunate circumstance. However, since I've been back in the US this has not been my experience.

The church we have been attending houses many gatherings throughout the week. We meet on Sunday mornings, but Tuesday night a Spanish church uses the building, Wednesday it is used to feed the needy, Saturday night a Ghanian church meets...and those are only the activities I am aware of. I love that!

In recent weeks I have been visiting community-based health programs for work. I have been VERY encouraged by what I have seen...

One local church has converted their basement to a small free clinic - equipped with a waiting room, office space, space for vital sign checks and exam rooms. In addition to providing space for the clinic, this church provides hospitality for those who come to visit the clinic through baked goods (including sugar-free varieties for diabetics), drinks, gift cards for medicine purchases, bus tickets and more.

A second church provides a sit down dinner for the homeless and coordinates with the free clinic and state run community service board to provide clinical services. This church buses in the homeless and many others come via public transport. Those who come sign-up for services. Throughout the dinner they spend time with a doctor to talk about health problems, get needed medicine, or speak with someone about ongoing mental health issues. This service is changing lives for the better. Equipping individuals to improve the circumstances of their lives.

A third church hosted a health fair - including rapid HIV testing, blood donations, blood pressure screening, and a mobile van to check eye-sight and hearing. The group providing the eye and hearing screenings, also provides treatment for those in need - paid by their generous volunteers.

The church is alive and active - using their buildings as a community resource. 

just Sheri, loving the open door policy

Everyday Heroes: unexpected gifts

The Everyday Heroes series is intended to draw attention to kindness. It's purpose is to share stories of normal people engaging in acts of kindness. Why? Because I believe kindness is what changes the world.


Today's post is a little different. We were the recipient of kindness, and it is worth sharing.


Kenyon and I sold what we owned (with few exceptions) when we moved overseas. When we found a place to live we knew we would need to purchase furniture and other household necessities. I don't have to tell any adult the financial cost of such an endeavor. We weren't sure how we would accomplish this.


Though God has promised to provide for our needs, I felt incredibly responsible to figure out where we would sleep, eat and sit. Then something amazing happened.


A church we do not attend met our need.


Because of their generosity we have a fully furnished home. We have a bed to sleep in. We have a dining table to eat on. We have a couch to sit on. We have been blessed beyond measure, our cup runneth over.


just Sheri, the grateful recipient of kindness 

"Kindness" poem

KINDNESS
Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.
What you held in your hand,
what you counted and carefully saved
all this must go so you know
how desolate the landscape can be
between the regions of kindness...

Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.

Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you out into the day to mail letters and purchase bread
only kindness that raised its head
from the crowd of the world to say
it is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you everywhere
like a shadow or a friend.

~ Naomi Shihab Nye

Everyday Heroes: greeting cards

Since moving to Virginia I have been witness to a letter writing campaign. This isn't to petition the government to do something or not do something on behalf of voters. It isn't for the purpose of getting big business to pay attention to social issues. I have witnessed a letter writing campaign of another kind...for the purpose of encouragement.

There is a small church in small town Arkansas. At least twice a week (sometimes more often) a new greeting card arrives at the home where I am staying. I recognize the cards because the address is hand written script with a Arkansas postmark. The inside is some kind of encouraging words.

Week after week, month after month the cards keep coming. These cards are sent to my friend who is battling a chronic illness. The faithfulness of these individuals is noteworthy. The joy (and hope) it brings is apparent.

just Sheri, witness to kindness

NOTE: the Everyday Heroes series on this blog is an idea to share stories of normal people engaging in acts of kindness. I want to draw attention to kindness because I believe it is what changes the world.

Everyday Heroes: a committed teacher

A few nights ago the home health care nurse came by to do a physical assessment on my friend. The three of us got to talking about matters of racial identity and prejudices. It was the first time the home health care nurse shared about his background.

He immigrated to this country at the age of 14 years old. At that time he had the equivalent of a second grade education as he had been working in a carpentry shop in his homeland rather than attending school. When he came to America he was able to go to school like the other children...and he was thrilled. Because of his age he was placed in the 9th grade. As part of his first assignment he had to present his work in front of the class. He was laughed at by everyone in the room - except the teacher. There are a number of details in the story I will leave out because of space. The end result is that this teacher invested heavily in his life. He caught up academically. He went to nursing school and eventually even completed medical school.

It has been decades since this man was in high school, but he still recalls his teachers name - Ms. Lewis. He still recalls her kindness.

This man provides a valuable service and is a blessing to us each week during his visits. He obviously cares about his patients and is incredibly knowledgeable about his field. He is making a difference in the lives of sick people all over this community.

He wouldn't be doing what he is doing if someone hadn't invested in him. In his case, it was a committed and compassionate teacher who made all the difference.

Just Sheri, witness to the dividends of Ms. Lewis investment

NOTE: the Everyday Heroes series on this blog is an idea to share stories of normal people engaging in acts of kindness. I want to draw attention to kindness because I believe it is what changes the world.

year in review: abounding kindness

The theme for 2010 was abounding kindness.  I received a comment on that post earlier this week asking, "how'd it go?"

By focusing on kindness, I have become more aware of kind acts demonstrated by others:

• six girls from Burundi
• the giving pledge
• giving a homeless man dignity

I was the recipient of kindness:

• generous colleagues
• good girlfriends

I have struggled with the issue of beggars and (finally) came to a conclusion:

• what to do when encountering beggars in the street?
• the Biblical response to beggars
• setting a humanity budget

Sometimes kindness doesn't have to be demonstrated through grand gestures, but rather through simple acts - a smile is universal. And sometimes we miss those opportunities - respect for the elderly.

I hope the year of abounding kindness resulted in a kinder Sheri. However, it still doesn't come naturally to me and requires some effort - so there is plenty of room for improvement.

How about you, how did you do on your new year's resolution for 2010? Do you even remember what it was?

Just Sheri, a work in progress

Everyday Heroes: six girls from Burundi

Last week I was speaking with a board member from a community organization I am volunteering with. This man is a local business owner and a father of three girls.  It came up that he and his wife spend time with six girls from Burundi. They take them to movies. Have them over to play. Bought them Christmas gifts. They show kindness to these six girls, by simply offering friendship.

The girls parents recently had a son. The man mentioned to the girls that they must be happy to finally have a brother. The girls informed this man that they had brothers before, but they were dead. It was an eye opening experience for this man who lives a comfortable life by most standards. In his world, this is not common...in theirs it is.

Everyday Heroes show kindness to those in need. The family of these six girls don't have a lot of money, but that isn't the only qualifier for need. They are new to this country and also need relationships. I have been a foreigner in a foreign land and I can tell you from experience that the simple act of taking someone to buy groceries and showing them how it is done, or banking, or driving is an incredibly generous gift. I will not forget the kindness others showed me when I was a stranger in their land. Now that I am home I intend to share that kindness with others who are a stranger in my homeland.

The Bible is very clear on how we are to treat strangers (foreigners) in our land. Matthew 25:35-40 tells a story of righteous individuals who are before a king. There is an expectation that they will be rewarded for good works. The king surprises them with a standard of behavior they were not aware of...

"For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me."

Then the righteous will answer him, "Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick and in prison and go to visit you?"

The King will reply, "Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me."

We are commanded to serve the "least of these" - which clearly means the hungry, the poor, the foreigner, the sick and the prisoner. It's not an easy ask, but an important one.

As an added bonus, this man told a story of a time when his wife took the six girls from Burundi to the movies. A stranger saw them at the theater and bought all of the children popcorn and sodas...anonymously. I love that. This person saw an opportunity to give in front of them and simply gave, without recognition.

Just Sheri, hoping to pay it forward to a stranger

NOTE: the Everyday Heroes series on this blog is an idea to share stories of normal people engaging in acts of kindness. I want to draw attention to kindness because I believe it is what changes the world.

the real Santa Claus

Did you know that the character Santa Claus is based on a real person? This is a statue depicting that man.

The real Santa Claus was born to wealthy parents in Europe. They became sick during an epidemic and died, leaving him an inheritance. What he did after that is what made him famous and was the origins of the character we know today as Santa Claus. Nicholas gave his wealth to the poor, the sick and the suffering. He was known for his generosity toward those in need and his love for children. He dedicated his life to serving others and was a prominent leader in the Christian church at the time. Nicholas was persecuted for his faith and even spent some time in prison.

Today, we don't spend enough time talking about the origins of the man with the white beard who is known to  give gifts. We have turned him in to a cartoon-ish figure that likes to drink hot chocolate, lives with elves and rides in a sleigh pulled by reindeer. That stuff is fiction, but the truth should be celebrated. A life well lived is worth remembering. It is worth striving for.

May the spirit of generosity to those in need and who are suffering be with you this Christmas day...and every day. 

Just Sheri, reminded to live a life of generosity when I see the man with a white beard and red suit

In the end only kindness matters

In the year of abounding kindness I was reminded of it's importance through a song from the artist Jewel...in the end, only kindness matters...and we are God's hands...



Jewel - "Hands"

If I could tell the world just one thing
It would be that we're all OK
And not to worry 'cause worry is wasteful
And useless in times like these

I won't be made useless
I won't be idle with despair
I will gather myself around my faith
For light does the darkness most fear...

Poverty stole your golden shoes
It didn't steal your laughter
And heartache came to visit me
But I knew it wasn't ever after

We'll fight, not out of spite
For someone must stand up for what's right
'Cause where there's a man who has no voice
There ours shall go singing...


In the end only kindness matters...


I will get down on my knees, and I will pray...


My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken
We are never broken...

We are God's hands