Oprah-nized

The Hubs and I were recently having a conversation about influential people. People who are influential on a grand scale usually have a few things in common - but, of those we could name a common denominator was wealth (mostly earned through expertise in a field). Of the super wealthy and influential people on our list, one stood out above all others. Oprah.

Photo by Alan Light via Creative Commons

We put Oprah in a category by herself because of how she shares her influence. When Oprah promotes someone, they usually become a superstar in their own right - we call this being "Oprah-nized." Here is just a small sampling of Oprah's protege's:

• Suze Orman - used to be a special feature on Oprah's show and now a leading voice in finance and investment
• Dr. Phil - also a guest feature on her talk show, now the star of a long standing talk show of his own
• Dr. Oz - same as above
• Rachel Ray - Oprah helped produce her show and now she is a common household name
• Nate Berkus - a leading name in interior design, also hit it big with an Oprah stamp of approval
• every author chosen for the book club became a best seller

I am sure the list is longer - these were just the folks I could name off the top of my head.

In 2010, Oprah was honored at the Kennedy Center. Chris Rock was one of the presenters. He started his monologue by acknowledging important people in the room, in the balcony sat the two honorees (Oprah and Paul McCartney) and President Barack Obama with his wife Michelle. Chris Rock says, "it's an amazing feeling to look up and see the most powerful person in the world...and right next to her, Barack Obama. He didn't get her a job, she got him a job." It was funny, but true. Oprah's endorsement of Obama helped him win the presidential nomination over other candidates like Hillary Clinton.

I mention this, not to promote Oprah specifically, nor any of her protege's; but to promote a character quality worth replicating. I do not have the level of influence of any of these, but in my sphere of influence - what am I doing to promote others? to set them on a course of success? to invest in their dream? to bring out their unique talents? It is a good way to be and a good thing to do.

just Sheri, wanting to use my influence to benefit others

Global Leadership Summit: Condoleeza Rice

"Today's headlines and history's judgement are rarely the same."

what makes a leader?

I was recently nominated for a leadership institute. The review committee sent a couple of questions to nominees. One asked, "what makes a leader?" Then we were supposed to describe how we fit that criteria. Thankfully, this answer was in writing, which gave me time to contemplate my answer and not just spew out the first thing that came to mind.

I found the process of defining a leader a useful exercise. For readers who may not know, I used to teach an undergraduate leadership course at the University of Kansas. I have spent years reading about leadership. Each year I attend the Leadership Summit as an annual ritual. So, it's not as if I haven't spent hours thinking about this topic before. What is interesting is how experience has continued to shape this definition. What is encouraging is how many exceptional leaders I have witnessed over the years.

So, I pose this question to you - what makes a leader? Specifically, what are the characteristics of a good leader?

just Sheri, a student of leadership

what if I...?

I recently finished reading the book "Just Courage" by Gary Haugen, founder of the International Justice Mission. If you aren't familiar with this organization...you should be. They truly are a voice for those who cannot speak for themselves.  The members of this group fight systemic injustice, often at great risk to their own personal safety.

Gary asks a lot of tough questions in this book.  For instance, "would you rather be safe or be brave? You can't be both."

I finished reading this book a few months ago and have moved on to other readings, but there is a statement in the book that I can't get out of my mind.  No matter how I try, I can't drop it and move on.  It is haunting me.

Gary tells a story in the first chapter of the book about his days in law school.  He was doing laundry and reading John Stuart Mill's essay "On Liberty."  This essay was written in 1859.  According to Haugen, the essay author is attempting to explain how words lose their meaning. He states that the best example of this is Christians:


"Christians, he [Mill]observed, seem to have the amazing ability to say the most wonderful things without actually believing them."


Haugen then provides a list of examples:

• blessed are the poor and humble
• it's better to give than to receive
• judge not, lest you be judged
• love your neighbor as yourself

I have come up with a few of my own examples:

• God is able to do...
• greater is He who is in me...
• all things are possible with God
• His mercies are new every morning

The question that is haunting me is a simple one - how would I live my life differently if I actually believed such things? 

I am trying to implement those things as they come to mind.  For instance, prayer is emerging as an active part of my life again (though still not reaching previous levels). Kindness remains paramount to daily living (though not where it should be).  Where my actions are inconsistent with the above statements - I attempt to correct my steps (lots of corrective action still necessary). 

Do you have examples of wonderful Christian sayings that seem to have lost their meaning?

just Sheri, reminded (again) of the value of living our truth

The Summit - unexpected influence

Speaker: John Dickson

Have you heard of John Dickson? If not, it's okay, I hadn't either.  One of the great things about the Summit is the wide variety of speakers - they come from all walks of life and all parts of the globe.

John is from Australia. He is a college professor, an author, and a Christian - which is rare in the largely secular Aussie culture. Now, some of my best friends are Aussie's. I will have the pleasure of spending time with one of them soon and being part of her families Australia Day celebrations.  But, that is not the subject of this post.

John spoke on a topic I have been studying for years, actually over a decade.  It is a topic that engages my mind with it's mystery and challenges me to the core of my being. What is it? Humility.

John was asked by his superior at Macquarie University to research the topic as part of his role in the Department of Ancient History. He went at it in a very scientific manner and his finding is worth noting.

Modern western culture does hold humility in high esteem, but that wasn't always the case. In the ancient Roman empire it was looked at as incredibly weak. Granted, there are still those in our modern time who hold this view; but I suspect they would still be disgusted by blatant arrogance which hints at some value given to humility. There was a time that I viewed humility as weakness. That has changed.

What changed the perspective an entire culture from looking down on humility to valuing it? John's conclusion is that "western culture is profoundly shaped by the cross of Christ. A teacher from Nazareth inspired a humility revolution." WOW!

Those who have been exposed to Christian teaching for a while should be familiar with the inversion principles of Christ's message.  This one is nicely summarized in Matthew 20:24:

You've observed how godless rulers throw their weight around, how quickly a little power goes to their heads. It's not going to be that way with you. Whoever wants to be great must become a servant. Whoever wants to be first among you must be your slave. That is what the Son of Man has done: He came to serve, not be served—and then to give away his life in exchange for the many who are held hostage.

I love that an academic researcher of ancient civilizations found Christ's message of humility sparked a revolution that still influences our culture today.


He spent the majority of this talk at the Summit highlighting the benefits of humility in leadership. It was a convincing argument, but I don't have space to outline it here. If you are interested in learning more, he wrote a book on the topic titled "Humilitas."  I have purchased the book. When I get through some of the stack I am currently working on, I will read this and possibly post a review on this blog.


John defines humility as "the noble choice to forgo your status, deploy your resources or use your influence for the good of others before yourself...the humble person is marked by a willingness to hold power in the service of others."


What do you think of John's definition of humility? Accurate? Is it missing something?


just Sheri, continuously discovering how much character counts

The Summit - pick yourself

Speaker:  Seth Godin

Seth is best known for his popular blog and entertaining public speaking. I have heard him speak before on Ted Talks. His talk at the Summit is the one that has been the most challenging to me personally.

Because Seth is a creative type, he talked about art. He defines art as; the risky human act of doing something you haven't done before.

He contrasts this with the concept of mass production. Mass production is made up of interchangeable parts and interchangeable people. That is not art.

He challenged the audience to figure out how to rise to the top and to solve interesting problems. He pointed out that the current mindset is that we only do what we are asked and we wait to get picked. His response: "pick yourself."

He also informed us that it is impossible to do art and always succeed. However, at some point, if you don't give up, you are going to do something worth talking about. Unfortunately, too many of us are looking for reasons NOT to put ourselves on the line.

Then he asked a question that woke me up.

Q: How many people would kill for your platform? What are you going to do about it?


To me, this was the moment of reckoning. I have a pretty big platform. I have seen a lot in my young life and been afforded unbelievable opportunities. In meeting with young(er) people, I know how many would love to have walked in my shoes (at least the highlight reel, likely not the day-to-day). Those experiences give me a platform - what am I going to do about it? To be determined, but stick around. This will come up again.

just Sheri, ready to put myself on the line (again)

The Summit - born unique

Speaker: Honorable Cory A. Booker

"Don't let the world tell you who you are.  Don't let it lull and seduce you in to mediocrity. You were born unique."

He told a fabulous story about when he showed up, as a young Yale Law graduate, on the doorstep of a world-changer living in the projects in Jersey, he promptly informed her that he was there to "help her." She taught him to see the world differently.

World changers don't see the world the way others see it. World changers see hope, love, and the face of God - even in difficult, blighted circumstances. World changers engage in daily acts of kindness to make life better for others. World changers never let the world outside dim the knowledge that God created them for a purpose.

"The world you see outside is a reflection of what's inside you."

He left the audience with a challenge: are you living your life in a way that shares your truth?

I had to answer, "no, not currently." But, I am working on remedying that now that I am unstuck.

just Sheri, adjusting my view

The Summit - ACT!

Speaker: Len Schlesinger

Len has impressive academic credentials. He has had an impressive academic career. He is currently president of Babson College, the top business school for entrepreneurs in America.

Len spoke about our uncertain future and the unacceptability of the present. Then this business guru said the darndest thing - "you can't predicted the future, but you can CREATE it."  His challenge to the audience is to make a brighter future, the kind we dream about.

How? Here is Len's prescription:

1. Take small steps.  Start with what you have on hand - who you are and what you know. Once you take that first step and land on firm ground, then take the next, and the next.

2.  Start with things you care about.

3.  Bring others along.

That's it.  Seems simple enough, right?

According to Len, "Small wins solve BIG problems."

What's holding you back? ACT!

just Sheri, concerned with the next step only

The Summit - unstuck

There is one event on my calendar every year.  One event I schedule my life around. I have made sacrifices over the years to make sure I am in attendance.  This year it required some overtime at the office to get the work done as we are in a busy season.  But, that doesn't matter.

I set this time aside each year to learn, listen, and be inspired.

What is this annual retreat?  The Willow Creek Leadership Summit.

Usually, there is one or two speakers that encourage my heart or have me thinking new, deeper thoughts.  That alone is worth the price of admission.  But, this year was phenomenal! Every speaker left me with something significant to ponder.  It was challenging and engaging.  

Over the next few days I will share lessons from some of the speakers who's words have not left my head (and heart) since the event...over a week ago.

The biggest take-away for me personally, is to "press on."  No speaker addressed this topic specifically, but the event sparked a new fire in me.  I have struggled being back in the US.  My heart was elsewhere.  I felt out of place, uncomfortable, and sad. I loved so much about the old life.  I used to tell people that I was one of the lucky ones, because I was living my dream/calling.  

So, what happens when that is stripped away?  I can tell you from experience that it is not a pretty sight. Tears and wallowing.  Discontent and frustration.  None of which is pleasing to God.

I was challenged to "press on."  Though the past few years have been amazing, there is no reason that the future has to be bleak...unless I get stuck in my pity party.

This idea of pressing on comes from Scripture, Philippians 3:13-14 to be exact.  The apostle Paul says:

No, friends, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race...

I have been trying to hold tightly to the past. I can't move forward and keep doing that. I have to let it go and  press on. I have to stay in the race, until the end. I have not achieved the goal. The best is yet to come.

just Sheri, looking forward

quotable quotes: leader as servant

I have VERY strong opinions about how a leader should conduct themselves...and what a leader should not do. Max Dupree has a quote that summarizes my view of a good leader:

"The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between, the leader is a servant."   ~ Max DuPree

There are far too few leaders who lead in this way - serving their team, acknowledging their efforts, looking out for others interests above their own.  There are too few individuals who live their lives in this way.

Since returning to America, I have noticed the culture fosters a belief that we MUST look out for ourselves. We MUST get ours before someone else gets theirs. It is prevalent in business, as well as personal relationships. It is unfortunate as I believe the service in between is the most important part. The service in between is what produces true influence. The service in between is what changes the world.

just Sheri, noticing the value of servant-leaders

 

Quoteable Quotes: living gratitude

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget  that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them."  ~John Fitzgerald Kennedy, 35th US President

Leadership Summit: TD Jakes

By far my favorite speaker this year was TD Jakes. At the end of his talk I was in tears, and I mean one of those ugly cries with snot coming out your nose. Obviously, what he had to say touched me. I can't add to it, so I will just share the highlights of his powerful words.

Sometimes it's hard to be the encourager. The one you are encouraging leaves with your courage and you are left discouraged. (I have been there)

Sometimes you will feel tired, depleted and operating in the red (done that)

What you have is a God who can help you so you can help them; give you passion so they can have passion; fire so they will burn. (needed that)

"When my heart is overwhelmed,
I go to the rock which is higher than me.
Renew my strength. Increase my faith."

It seems to be working.

Psalm 62: 1-3 My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.

Sheri

Leadership Summit: Adam Hamilton

Going in to the Summit I had a pressing question on my mind - how do people do it, how do they keep going? How do they not just stumble and lose their way? I was wondering this because just weeks before, it was announced that another leader who had an impact had been participanting in an extramarital affair. He lost his job. She lost her job. This is not the first (nor I suspect the last) time I will receive this news.

A couple of years ago I was reading "Ascent of a Leader." In that book a surprising statistic was cited - 70% of leaders do NOT finish well. Somewhere along the way they get caught up in a sexual scandal, money scheme or some other public moral failure. Yikes! That really concerns me, especially as someone who wants to be faithful to the end. I mentioned this to K and he suggested I look at it a different way.

Oh yeah, what's that?

His response, "100% of people have a sin problem. So, 30% figured out a way to not give in to sin." I still wonder how to be one of the 30%, but I am just trying to take that day by day. I have a long road ahead of me...

Adam Hamilton gave an inspired message at the Summit. It was also one I needed to hear. His church had two well known pastors, with very public ministries, participating in an affair with each other. He had to deal with it and he decided to challenge the church to a life of integrity. You may be thinking they did this through a public shaming of the sinners, but that wasn't his message.

His message was that none of us are immune. As the church we should be caring for broken people, standing beside them...that is our calling.

I loved his message. I think too often we condemn (often publicly) and neglect to help the people involved rebuild their lives.

If you have messed up. If you know someone who has messed up. I pray you take Adam's advice and believe to the core of your being that no one is beyond redemption. God loves you more than you will ever understand and still has a wonderful plan for your life.

Sheri

Leadership Summit: Jim Collins

A few years back I read a book titled "Good to Great" by Jim Collins. I also heard him speak in that same year. My take away's from the book were simple.

The enemy of great is good. Why? Because we settle for good enough, and thus never attain greatness.

The most effective leaders have an intense will to succeed. No major epiphanies there. But, the organizations that succed have leaders with an intense will and a strong sense of humility. That's right, I said humility. Why does that matter? Because it's not about their personal success, but rather they are committed to a cause or ideal outside of themselves. Others get committed to that too, and together they succeed.

So, author Jim Collins spoke this year at the Leadership Summit. His topic was related to his new book, "How the Mighty Fall." The message I received this year was a powerful and timely one.

NEVER GIVE IN...never, ever, ever. Be willing to embrace loss, endure pain, but NEVER give up or doubt ability to prevail. NEVER give up on core values. Persevere, that is the key to progress.

I needed to hear that. Maybe you did too?

Sheri

Notes from a manager, part 3

respect authority: throughout history young people have always thought they know better than those fuddy-duddies that came before them. Even if that is true, there is a respectful way to disagree and input your wisdom constructively in to the process. As a manager I have noticed a serious lack of respect for authority. I blame parents (I can do this still because I have no children of my own and can't be criticized for my parenting). Parents must teach children from a young age to respect authority, respect their elders, and how to respond respectfully when they disagree. When this doesn't happen, I end up dealing with temper tantrums in the conference room with someone who should have grown out of that 20 years ago. There have been times as a manager that I can picture those I supervise as a child. I imagine they acted the same way when they didn't get what they wanted. I've seen those kids at the grocery store who throw a massive fit because their parent said no to a sugar cereal or candy bar. I then picture them in a grown up body doing the same thing when their boss has to say they can't have the promotion they think they deserve because they aren't performing and there are many qualified candidates. Same response - "waaahhh, but I want it." Yeah, there are lots of things in life that I want and don't get. Suck it up and deal with it. In contrast I've delivered difficult news to more mature 20 year olds and when they respond maturely, voicing their frustration and perspective but without all the spoiled-brat-entitlement-issues it won huge points with me. Those who respond like rational adults are more likely to get first crack at the next opportunity. Most managers I know are not on a power trip, they want to see their people succeed professionally and resource them to do that. Most managers I know want to give the people they supervise growth opportunities. Most managers I know are trying desperately to balance a slew of competing priorities from their bosses, peers and subordinates. It is impossible as a manager to please everyone all the time, difficult conversations are just part of the job. It wins points and shows maturity when you understand this and feed in to the process in a rational and constructive way and respect, rather than disrespect, the one placed in that position of authority.

If you are reading these posts and used to work for me or currently work for me, don't get a complex that this might be you - unless we've had these conversations and in that case...well, then it is you.

I write this not to embarrass anyone, but actually with the intention to save others some pain. If you are a young person starting your professional career, learning these simple tips will be to your benefit in the long run.

Notes from a manager, part 2

Internet access: Your computer may have internet access, this is to equip you to do your job. It is not so we can pay you to chat with friends throughout the day, nor to update your twitter or facebook status with every passing thought. Internet access is not provided so you can research your next vacation when you are supposed to be doing a report. I understand that it is impossible to draw clear lines between home and work life, those lines are often blurred. I understand that our working hours are also the working hours of travel agents and banks and those are the best times to get things done. But, please limit your social networking, web browsing, and cell phone time during work hours. I don't pay you to be popular, there is a job to do and productivity does matter.

notes from a manager

I may still be relatively young, but I have been a manager since my first job out of college. That means I have eleven years of management experience to date. I don't say that to brag in any way, in fact there are plenty of days I wish I wasn't "the boss" because being the boss brings with it incredible responsibility and frequent frustration. But that isn't the subject of this post. Since my first job as a manager in 1998 there is something I have noticed and something that I have wanted to say to young people at large...I just decided to say it now in this public forum.

Young people (or anyone for that matter) there are some basic things that can make or break your relationship with your boss. This isn't an exhaustive list, but it does include some common issues:

dress code: I wasn't born in the era where people wore suits to work everyday or their best clothes to get on an airplane. That's a good thing. because in that era I would never have had the opportunities I've been afforded as a woman in my generation. I am okay with business casual most days and then dawning a full suit for special meetings or presentations. I have noticed as a manager a serious lack of pride in personal appearance among young people. They think nothing of coming to work scruffy and wrinkled and sometimes even dirty. It isn't just the creative types that try to get away with this, it seems to be a generational thing. As a manager, I do not want to talk with you about your skirt being too short or your shirt being too low cut because it shows your underwear. I don't want to have to tell you to brush your teeth or use deodorant and comb your hair because it is a hot mess. I don't like having to point out that wearing a Corona shirt, jeans and flip-flops is not appropriate attire at the office even on casual Friday. It wasn't in my job description to have to parent grown people who should know better. If you want to impress your manager, come to the office dressed to work in an office. I've found it also does wonders for professional etiquette while working. Maybe there is something psychological about standing in front of a closet and picking out an outfit. When choosing professional clothing we also put on that attitude.

Quotable Quotes

"Leadership is a blessing, no matter how difficult, it is a gift."

~ Tony Blair, former UK Prime Minister

Quotable Quotes

"Believe in the possibility of one another."

Jessica Jackley, co-founder KIVA - loans that change lives

trade vs. aid

At the recent leadership summit a thought provoking speaker was invited. his words inspired controversy. I, personally, wanted to stand up and applaud. Andrew Regarsira is Ugandan and a business owner, running an international business in Africa. here is what he had to say:

The perspective we hold influences our response to make a difference.

No country in the world developed through handouts. Trade is the only sustainable way to develop countries.

Africa today contributes 2% of global trade merchandise. The world doesn't seem to believe we can produce a quality product on time. We want to do business, not get pity.

• Aid undermines accountability - creates chronic dependency
• Aid does not develop the local economy

Question: what is the impact of our compassion?

Answer: People have lost faith in themselves and developed a belief that the best solutions come from the outside.

The best kindness you can demonstrate is helping people help themselves, not through a hand-out.

Amen to that! Preach it, brother!

I challenge you to ask yourself, what is the impact of our compassion? it is a question I know I will be asking myself now and in to the future.