Notes from a manager, part 3

respect authority: throughout history young people have always thought they know better than those fuddy-duddies that came before them. Even if that is true, there is a respectful way to disagree and input your wisdom constructively in to the process. As a manager I have noticed a serious lack of respect for authority. I blame parents (I can do this still because I have no children of my own and can't be criticized for my parenting). Parents must teach children from a young age to respect authority, respect their elders, and how to respond respectfully when they disagree. When this doesn't happen, I end up dealing with temper tantrums in the conference room with someone who should have grown out of that 20 years ago. There have been times as a manager that I can picture those I supervise as a child. I imagine they acted the same way when they didn't get what they wanted. I've seen those kids at the grocery store who throw a massive fit because their parent said no to a sugar cereal or candy bar. I then picture them in a grown up body doing the same thing when their boss has to say they can't have the promotion they think they deserve because they aren't performing and there are many qualified candidates. Same response - "waaahhh, but I want it." Yeah, there are lots of things in life that I want and don't get. Suck it up and deal with it. In contrast I've delivered difficult news to more mature 20 year olds and when they respond maturely, voicing their frustration and perspective but without all the spoiled-brat-entitlement-issues it won huge points with me. Those who respond like rational adults are more likely to get first crack at the next opportunity. Most managers I know are not on a power trip, they want to see their people succeed professionally and resource them to do that. Most managers I know want to give the people they supervise growth opportunities. Most managers I know are trying desperately to balance a slew of competing priorities from their bosses, peers and subordinates. It is impossible as a manager to please everyone all the time, difficult conversations are just part of the job. It wins points and shows maturity when you understand this and feed in to the process in a rational and constructive way and respect, rather than disrespect, the one placed in that position of authority.

If you are reading these posts and used to work for me or currently work for me, don't get a complex that this might be you - unless we've had these conversations and in that case...well, then it is you.

I write this not to embarrass anyone, but actually with the intention to save others some pain. If you are a young person starting your professional career, learning these simple tips will be to your benefit in the long run.