The greatest gift...ever!

I have a good friend, Elaine. We have known each other for approximately 10 years. I love her dearly. We have so much history together. We don't need to go through long explanations, because we already know each others story - instead we are just catching up and sharing memories.

We worked together when Elaine was pregnant with her first child. I called her "my test case." She shared with me her highs and lows of pregnancy, her deepest secrets and fears. When her daughter was born, I was in the waiting room with the family. I felt like family. When her daughter was still very young it was discovered that she had a kidney problem and surgery was required. I walked through this experience with Elaine. I visited the hospital after surgery. Her daughter was hooked to an IV, very scared, and in pain. The only thing that could comfort her was her mother, my friend. It was a beautiful scene of love. My longings to become a mother became undeniable that day. I was 26 years old and in an unhappy marriage (this will come as a second surprise to some of you). I decided it would be a selfish choice to bring a child in to such a dysfunctional environment, it was one thing for me to live there (stay there) due to the commitment I had made, but I wouldn't bring a child in to it. As a result, I prevented pregnancy. In the end, I could not stay in the marriage. Elaine walked through that experience with me.

When Elaine became pregnant with her second child she gave me the best gift I've ever received - the best! She asked me to be in the delivery room with her and her husband. I got to witness a miracle from the front row seat. My job was to take photographs, I wasn't just there as an observer. After her son was born, the nurses took him to be weighed. I looked at my friend who had just been through so much pain in her delivery. She was looking at her son with an expression of pure love. He was just born and she loved him completely. I was moved to tears. I took a picture of that moment and that picture still makes me emotional. I instintually think of that day every February 8.

Elaine spent the entire day with me when I married Kenyon, was my photographer at the wedding, and our witness on the legal documentation. When we moved away from Kansas City Elaine and I had a tearful good-bye and she said, "I always thought I'd get to be there when you are pregnant." I had thought so, too.

That was three years ago, I am still not pregnant.