school days, school days...

School is back in session. I arrived on Friday from India and started my second semester of my PhD on Monday. I had terrible jet-lag and a head cold. A great way to kick-off the start of the semester! I would read for school and the words just floated randomly in my head, not connected to any thought or concept. In one class last week the professor asked about common themes among the articles - I was having trouble even remembering what the articles I had read were about, much less pull out themes! I am still exhausted and not feeling 100%, but I can at least read and comprehend what I'm reading this week. Progress! This weekend I officially converted my dining room into an office. I had to get real. Was I ever going to have a dinner party? No, I don't cook. I don't have time. I hardly have a social life as it is, and if I'm going to see friends it will likely be someplace other than my condo. Did I need a central location for all my textbooks, computer stuff, school and work projects, etc? Yes. I'd been using the coffee table in my living room and decided I was sick of the clutter and wanted a place to just chill when I wasn't studying.

Though it is only the second week, there is already more to do than I possibly have time to complete. I'm am trying to temper my ambition. I tell myself, it's okay if I don't get it all done. It's okay if I get a passing grade - does it really need to be A+++, or at satisfy my perfectionist tendencies? The answer is, "no." I'll earn the degree with less than perfect. I just don't want to break my record of nothing less than an "A" in grad school (including my Master's degree). I have to let that go to maintain sanity, I know this, it is just hard to do. This semester is going to be a struggle, attempting to balance my school work (which could easily consume my entire life), my work in India (which could easily consume my entire life), and still finding time for important relationships (poor Kenyon!). If you are ever wondering what I'm doing these days, it would be a pretty safe guess to say I'm studying.

Calgon, take me away...