director of the everyday, tedious, and mundane

In one of two book clubs which I am a member, we were discussing contentment. Many people spend their life looking forward to the next thing - when I...am older...married...have kids...am finished with school...retire...change jobs. When..the kids are older...

You get the picture. We think we will be content "when" - which really means "we will be content when?"

I have done this - looking forward to when, rather than finding contentment in the present.

But, that is not my current struggle. My current struggle is looking back. When my life was my ministry. When I woke each morning with a strong sense of purpose. When my days were consumed by a calling much bigger than I. When I was living the adventure with those who were consumed by it too. Aahhh, those were the days...when can I get back to that?

Though the question is different, the result is the same. DISCONTENT.

Through the course of the subsequent months I have been trying to root out my discontent. My biggest struggle is my job. I have a good job, it just doesn't engage my heart the way previous work did. I am the director of everyday, mundane, and tedious responsibilities. I shuffle paper from one place to another, write emails and answer phones. The decisions that are made between the paper shuffling and professional communications do make a difference to many who are doing good, life-saving work. 

So, I show up each day and try to convince myself that it matters that I am sitting in my desk chair shuffling paper, responding to email and answering phones. I try to follow Jehoshaphat's instructions to ancient judges to "serve faithfully and wholeheartedly in the fear of the Lord." 

I want to be skilled at my work, but also satisfied with the task. I am asking God to change my heart. In place of restlessness, put peace. In place of discontent, put satisfaction. I must stop looking back and press on...toward whatever lies ahead.

just Sheri, reaching for the title of "surprisingly satisfied"