This week I have started saying "good-bye." I don't like it much. Though Kansas will never be home - I used to say, "I could live here twenty years and it won't be my home. I won't be a Kansan." - it has been a great place to live. I have made the best friends of my life here. The best! In my nearly nine years in Kansas (I will be short of my anniversary by a couple of weeks), I had many people leave me to greener pastures, but I remained part of a vibrant, close-knit, wonderful community. I've already shed many tears about leaving these friendships, this community. I'm sure these will not be my last.
Last night I was at a going away dinner hosted in my honor and one of my friends said my absence will leave a void that cannot be filled. I feel that way about so many people here. My departing will leave a void in my life that will not be replaced. I'm confident I will make new friends, but the wealth of friendships I made in this community is irreplaceable. I can't conceive of replicating this experience in a new place. So, my leaving is bitter-sweet.
I was asked at a going away lunch, if I viewed this as just a job or as a calling. I view it as a calling. I believe the series of events that brought me to this place was not by chance and was more than coincidence. I would not be leaving my community, uprooting my life, and forgoing my PhD (for now) if I believed otherwise. There is some solace in knowing that, in feeling there is a larger purpose behind it all, but that doesn't mean it's easy to relocate.
Friends, you have impacted my life in more ways than you will ever know. I am so grateful to all of you, and indebted to many of you (debts I can never repay). I am going to miss you - miss just doesn't seem strong enough; I'm going to long to be with you. Thank you for making this place that I came to reluctantly such a beautiful experience. I love you. Know there is always a room waiting for you in North Carolina.
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