best interest of the kids?

Meet Charles and Ramone. These boys live in the inner city of Kansas City. Their father is dead, in fact I believe they witnessed him be shot - Charles remembers it. Their mother is a crack addict. They've lived in foster homes and currently live with their grandmother and eleven other kids, mostly cousins, in a two bedroom home. One of their foster parents had wanted to adopt them, but the biological family prevented it (even though they didn't live with the biological family at the time). Now there is another family who would like to adopt them. Again, the biological family is preventing it. I don't know what the right answer is in these situations. The family is not providing a safe, healthy, growing environment for these kids. BUT, I also understand giving the biological family a preference. In an ideal world these kids would live with their mom, but she would be a mom interested in protecting and loving them - she would not have a long-term addiction to drugs. This weekend I had the privilege of escorting the boys on their first plane ride. We went to Virginia to visit the family who would like to adopt them. In my personal opinion, if the biological parents have been unable (or unwilling) to care for the child for more than two-years, and a loving family wants to provide a healthy environment for these kids, the parents rights should be terminated and the kids should be adopted by the outside family.

The current system gives preference to the biological family. This is the second adoption proceedings of this nature I've been involved with. The first family spent years fighting to adopt two brothers who they had been foster parents to, the biological parents were in jail, involved with drugs and had knowingly molested these boys older siblings. In my opinion, they had more than proved to be unfit parents. It was astounding to me that although the loving foster family had physical custody of the kids for years and wanted to adopt them, the system made it nearly impossible. In the end the mother gave up parental rights and the foster family officially adopted the boys, plus a daughter. I was happy with the result, especially since the foster family was the only family the boys had really ever known.

Why do I say all of this? Because I've learned something through this process. The system is not set up in the best interest of the kids and I wish it were. I wish the default were to give the children a loving and supportive home, to reduce their pain as much as humanly possible. Sure, give the biological parents a chance, but when they aren't able to pull it together in a reasonable amount of time, the focus should change to advocating for the kids best interests.

I don't know what the right answer is for Charles and Ramone. Honestly, I just wish there was some way to improve their lives and show them they are loved. It was an honor to escort them this weekend. My favorite part was when they would say (very loudly) on the airplane, "five, four, three, two, one...blast off!" as the plane was taking off. It was great to share the experience with them.