surprising response

When I travel I often write email journals and send them to a select group. I've been doing this for years. One recent email generated a surprising response. I don't think I've ever written anything that generated such a response. A copy of the email is below for those of you who read this blog, but don't receive the emails:

A challenge to those who call themselves Christians...

I am currently in Santa Cruz, Bolivia. The weather here is fantastic (if you like sunshine, which I do)! My purpose is to attend one of our workshops. We hold multiple workshops per year around the world. Due to my travel schedule I've been unable to attend a church mobilization workshop, until now. The purpose of the workshops are to pull together influential church leaders from a country or region, then we spend a few days challenging their beliefs about HIV. As a Christian, I am ashamed and frustrated by most Christians response to HIV. I cannot count how many times I have been told that the people suffering sinned and therefore they are suffering the punishment of their sin. The Bible I read says ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. All means, all. God does not establish a hierarchy of sin, humans do that. My sins of pride or dishonesty aren't less or more than another sin. The Bible I read also says it is not our place to judge, but that place is reserved for God alone. The God I serve more often than not offers grace and mercy, love and compassion to all of us who don't deserve it. We didn't earn it, he gave it willingly.

My work takes me to the ends of the earth and affords me the opportunity to interact with people where they are at...sometimes they are living in the pits of life, and I don't just mean physical slums. WARNING: I expect that the rest of this email will offend just about everyone (if it hasn't already), with the exception of maybe my mother who likes a good debate and loves me unconditionally.

In college I sat by the bedside of a girl who had been released from her out-patient procedure (aka abortion). She was an acquaintance of a guy I was dating. She had no real friends, she was abandoned by the man who impregnated her, and she didn't want to tell her family; that left me, an almost stranger, as the only person who cared enough to take care of her. There was a lot of bleeding. There was a significant amount of cramping. When we called the clinic, we were told this is normal. Eventually, the bleeding and cramping stopped and she was never readmitted; so, I guess it was normal. What surprised me more than any of the physical pain she was experiencing was the emotional pain. Though her circumstances were difficult and she made the personal choice to terminate the pregnancy, she had no idea how bad she would feel afterward. Even after her physical body recovered, her emotional state did not. At first she was very sad, then went in to depression and eventually figured out how to live with it and I always assumed she just became good at masking the pain. She stopped talking about it with me, I didn't have the heart to ask and eventually we went our separate ways; which didn't surprise me since we were only bonded by a crisis experience. On one of my recent trips I met a woman who had an abortion around a decade ago. She was still feeling the loss of that choice. She wonders about the child she lost; how he might look, how he might be developing in any given year, what kind of person he might have become. By this woman's own description she was not a Christian at the time of her abortion. She became a Christian later and joined a church. Because of her shame she has not told her family about her choice, she has not told anyone in her church...only a handful of people know this pain and I am now lucky enough to count myself one of those. As I listened to her story. As I cried with her. I was struck by one overwhelming thought, shouldn't the church be the place where she feels acceptance, love, grace and compassion? If we were following the example of Jesus then I believe it would be. Instead, she feels condemned and has not found a person within the church walls in the years she has attended where she felt safe enough to share her pain. That makes me mad. Church, wake up! There are real women, like this one, suffering in silence and often alone. Abortion is not just about terminating a pregnancy, that is the medical term for it, but the reality is much bigger than that. This is not the first time I've heard a story like this one. Actually, at every church I've attended in recent years there has been at least one woman who shared this secret with me, and I assume there are many who have told no one. Every woman I have met carries emotional pain from their abortion, they feel an overwhelming sense of loss and failure. If you consider yourself pro-choice I have one question for you, what are you doing to ease the pain of women like this? If you consider yourself pro-life, what are your doing to ease the pain of women like this?

In Bolivia, I met a woman who is living with HIV. She was raised in the church, in fact her father is a pastor. By her own description, she lived a double life...she had a church persona, and another persona when she was outside the church. Unfortunately, that is not uncommon (though I wish it weren't so). She had a boyfriend, they had sex. She partied and did all the things her father had warned her against. She found out she was HIV positive and encouraged her boyfriend to be tested. He refused, she began treatment. Though he was under the age of 30, he has passed away from an undisclosed illness. This young woman is making a huge difference as an HIV advocate. Because of her efforts a national HIV network has been formed, she is now the leader of the effort. The network petitioned for government funded medicines and would not relent. Eventually, the Global Fund heard their cries and supplied the medicine. That wasn't enough for her, she still believes the government should take responsibility. The answer she received over and over is that it is not their job because there is no law entitling those living with HIV to life-saving medicines. The network worked to have the law changed. When we spoke she said they still haven't appropriated any money to the new legislation, but at least they don't have the excuse that there is no mandate. She is invited to speak all over the world and tell her story of living with HIV. I can tell you from experience that the story is compelling and inspiring. Here's the thing I don't get...the only place she doesn't feel welcome is the church. What?! How can that be? She still considers herself a Christian, she considers her HIV work a calling by God, she speaks of His comfort and healing (emotional, not physical) in her life. Someone, please explain to me why she is not welcome in the church?

On a side note, both of these women that I spoke with recently were raped. They both describe the rape as a turning point in their life. It wasn't just a physical act, but it affected their soul, it changed who they were and how they viewed themselves.

It is my personal belief, that a church that is functioning well should provide a safe place for women in situations like the one's I describe. These women did not find that to be true. It is my belief that God cares about each of us individually, personally. These women have found that to be true. My challenge to those who call themselves "Christian," is a request for us to follow Christ's example and Biblical teaching. Imagine what a difference it would make if the church offered Godly love to a hurting world. Imagine a safe place where people can place their pain at the foot of the cross. Imagine a place where real people are free to be real. Imagine what it would be like not to suffer alone in silence, but to find church a place where humans embrace our humanity. Imagine...

Wouldn't you want to be part of something like that? What can you do to help create that kind of environment?

The update to this email is that one of those who received the email is working on a writing a book on this topic. Check out her video promo for her new book: http://vimeo.com/3722610?pg=embed&sec=

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