what if God...?

There is a second question that has been haunting me in recent months. I thought it appropriate to put it in a post following yesterday's question.

The first question is - am I living my life in a way that is consistent with what I believe or have the words lost their meaning?

For instance, "God is able to do..."

I do believe that God is able to do immeasurable more than we ask or imagine. He is alive and active. He can work miracles. I've seen it. I believe it.

I have some things I have been asking God for, some of them have been a persistent request for years. Do I believe he can deliver? Yes, or I wouldn't keep asking.

This leads me to my second question - what if God doesn't? Not because he isn't able, but because there is some other reason that I don't understand.

I want to be a mother. Previous attempts haven't worked out (including adoption, but not fertility treatments). A couple of weeks ago I went to a doctor to get checked-out. She says I am healthy and we should be able to have children. This news was a mixed blessing. We can, but it still hasn't happened. Why hasn't it happened? An answer to that question would provide some comfort, but it remains elusive.

Being a doctor she of course mentioned my progressing age - she actually said, "you aren't getting any younger and infertility does increase with age."  Thanks, for that line of encouragement.  She said if we are anxious to have children she would refer us out to a fertility specialist. At this time, that is not an option I am willing to pursue.

But, it leaves me asking my second question - what if God doesn't?

What if God never gives me a child - will I praise him anyway?

What if I never get to work internationally again - will I still serve him?

Is my faith strong enough to endure these disappointments? I don't know. I am trying.

I know so many who face life's disappointments - waiting for a breakthrough or fulfillment of their hearts deepest longing.  I am sure they ask themselves similar questions.

I am trying to follow the example of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego.

Daniel 3: 17, 18
"...our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But if not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image you have set-up."


But if not....

Their choice was to remain faithful, even unto death. That was not an easy choice, especially when the outcome was not assured. In their story, God brought deliverance. But they made their choice before knowing the ending.

just Sheri, wanting to choose faithfulness despite disappointment