death of my social life

Last week marked the start of something unexpected - my return to school. Yes, I have been a student the majority of my adult life. Yes, I am committed to life-long learning. However, when I left (without completing) my PhD many years ago I figured that was the end of my academic pursuits.

The Hubs has asked many times in those years, "when are you going to finish your PhD?" I had no intention of doing so. In fact, I described that period of life as self-imposed torture - why would I subject myself to that again?

Why? Because we are place-bound for a while, this reality leaves me restless and my mind has been hungry to learn....Because I suspect that just as my masters degree opened doors, doctorate credentials will do so also...Because, after a series of stops and starts, I found a program that sparks my interest and is located six blocks from my new employer...Because I am ready to dream about the possibilities of a new future, that may or may not involve hopping on airplanes to destinations around the globe.

At the end of August I attended my first class. The reading load seems unattainable and the course requirements will be demanding. As if this were not enough, I am adding a job change accompanied by a daily commute of more than two hours. Someone asked me if I was going to survive. My response, "I am pretty sure I will survive, but my social life is dead."

This has already proven to be true as I spent the bulk of a holiday weekend (Labor Day) in my house reading and writing for school.

Friends, I will be hibernating through the winter - for the next three years (at least).

just Sheri, here we go (again)

marital communication 601: familiar voice

I've noticed something in recent months, my husband and I have been married long enough now that I recognize his voice anywhere. He can call without introducing himself, even without the assistance of caller ID I know it is him by voice alone. We can be in the company of a group and I can locate him simply by the sound of his voice, which to my ears is distinct among a crowd.

There are others in my life that have a distinct voice - my adopted dad for instance. I know my mom's voice on the phone, but in a family crowd she sounds like some of her sisters. My brother's voice sounds to me a lot like our biological father's. But, it is all in the family and there is a comfort in the familiarity of their voice.

I suspect there is a level of intimacy a relationship reaches when one's voice becomes this familiar to us. God wants us to know him in that way too. There is a story in John 10: 1-5 about sheep knowing their shepherd's voice, in this story we are the sheep and he is the shepherd:

"Let me set this before you as plainly as I can. If a person climbs over or through the fence of a sheep pen instead of going through the gate, you know he’s up to no good—a sheep rustler! The shepherd walks right up to the gate. The gatekeeper opens the gate to him and the sheep recognize his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he gets them all out, he leads them and they follow because they are familiar with his voice. They won’t follow a stranger’s voice but will scatter because they aren’t used to the sound of it.”

just Sheri, listening for the sound of a familiar voice

Snowden: revealing my inconsistencies

Recently I've engaged in numerous conversations on the topic of Snowden: hero or villain?

That really isn't the point of this post.

The media reports about the man who leaked top secret information has me thinking about the issue of privacy...

We live in interesting times where we use social media to announce to the world where we are (Facebook check-in) and what we are doing at any given moment (Twitter, Instagram, or Facebook status posts). I (obviously) have a blog and share portions of my life on the blog. I have user IDs for Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter and post status updates periodically on all of these.

In addition to these, I have a smart phone and subscribed to the Google app which I find amazing. If there is a flight itinerary in my inbox, the app will automatically give me the flight status. The app has memorized my schedule and frequently visited locations and will give me updates on how long it will take to get home from work or to a regular destination on Monday nights or Wednesday mornings. When I travel, because of GPS tracking on my phone, the app creates a listing (unsolicited)of activities or restaurants near me. Every weekend it gives me a list of events in my area. I like the convenience of these functions. I find them helpful and useful. I sacrificed privacy to get these features and apparently I am okay with that.

I am not, however, okay with the government tracking and cataloguing these things without a reasonable cause. I don't care if it is in the name of national security. While I have nothing to hide, it feels to me a violation of trust that they capture this information without my permission.

I have been thinking about this inconsistency in my stance. I willingly give up privacy for the sake of personal convenience, but I feel it a violation when those concessions in privacy are being monitored on a grand scale.

Is my expectation of privacy reasonable?

just Sheri, trying to reconcile my inconsistencies

Lessons from my father

I could write a whole book about all I have learned from the man I consider my father. He has taught me about car maintenance, cooking, how to be a person of character, how to serve others, and so much more. Much of this was by demonstration rather than lecture. What is really amazing is that he is not my birth father - but he has been just like a father should be.

Most recently I have been grateful to him for the lessons he taught me on financial responsibility. He has a terrible distaste for debt and while his job as a manual laborer never earned him a high salary, nor paid benefits, he always had savings and was generous with others.

Today, there are two primary things I do with the money I earn: 1) I save and 2) I give.

Because that is what he taught me to do.

I haven't had a credit card balance in over 15 years. I have a credit card and I use my credit card, but I never carry a balance. In fact, in all those years I have not paid a single dollar in fees or interest to any credit card provider because I pay off the balance before the bill is due.

Other than our mortgage, I have no debt. We bought both of our cars used and with cash.

I consider myself frugal, but not cheap. What's the difference? I will still splurge on a nice evening out with the Hubs. At least once a year I take a vacation that includes exotic destinations. But frugality is a lifestyle. The majority of the furniture in our home is used, with a few newer pieces purchased from discount stores/vendors. When we take a cruise vacation I opt for an inside cabin rather than paying hundreds more for a balcony room. Travel destinations often include visiting friends, which means we can save money by staying with them rather than paying for a hotel (granted, I am lucky enough to have friends who live in places like Australia, China, Dubai, and South Africa).

My father taught me to be prudent with my hard earned dollars. To live within my means. To save for the future and things I want. I am grateful to him, because putting these lessons in to practice has brought financial freedom, regardless of the salary I receive.

Last year when the Hubs was unemployed for a series of months, we were fine because we had savings. I am now facing the very real possibility of unemployment by fall. I was talking to my father about this reality and discussing options for the future. During the conversation I thanked him for teaching me how to manage money, it is a gift that has served me well in life.

Because he is my dad and he loves me, he also said, "if things get too rough, you always have a home with me."

just Sheri, daddy's girl

quotable quotes: somebody do something