Year in Review: Perfect Peace

My theme for 2012 was "Perfect Peace." The theme was chosen because the storms of life felt overwhelming.

My birth father had passed unexpectedly. I wrote about this in a post titled: "In rememberance..."

The dream for my life was becoming a distant memory as we had spent two years in the U.S., bought a house and planned to stay a while. I went through a time of serious grief as I mourned the loss of that dream and had nothing to take it's place, except for uncertainty. I wrote about this in a post titled: "in absentia"

The year brought more death, "In loving memory: Adra Irene Gettemy" and the continued heartache of remaining childless.

I don't have to tell anyone the kind of stress moving continents multiple times in a few short years, extended unemployment, and disappointing heartache can put on a marriage. At the beginning of 2012 it seemed like we were at our breaking point. Then unemployment struck again.

I needed a solid rock in the midst of life's storms. I needed peace that surpassed understanding. I chose the theme because such a peace felt unattainable, but I knew I desperately needed it. Nothing else was going to get me through the difficulties I was experiencing.

The scripture that guided the past year was Isaiah 26:3,4:

You [God] keep him [or her] in perfect peace
whose mind is stayed on you,
because he trusts in you.
Trust in the Lord forever,
for the Lord God is an everlasting rock

Looking back over the course of the year, I can tell you that my trust in God has grown deeper. I trust him to be my provider. I trust him to be my foundation and safety-net. I have come to trust him with my future and dreams.

I spent a series of weeks this year fasting (going without food and spending most of the day in solitude and prayer) on Sundays. I felt called to the task. I found the result to be an aligning of my will with His. Through the course of those weeks my perspective (and subsequently my attitude) changed. As these things changed, my behavior followed suit. Breakthroughs in my circumstances came, eventually, as well.

While I still do not have a defined purpose, I am finding joy in helping others discover their purpose, fanning the flame of their dreams, and interceding on their behalf. God has given me pictures of faces, folks that I  have been working to build relationship with. He has given me encouraging words to share with others. When I share those words immediately, I am finding that it speaks to something they are going through at that moment - usually something they did not think anyone else knew about. God knew. He always knows.

When the heartache in my life seemed too much, I discovered I also needed to invest in friendships locally. While I had met a lot of people I liked a lot; my mentality was that, because I hoped to be leaving soon, it was just easier to keep relationships at a surface level in anticipation of saying good-bye. I realized I needed to build a network of support. I have been investing in friendships this year and have built the foundation for excellent friendships with a number of women. This has also served to help calm my restlessness. I expect these friendships to improve with age. God also gave me a group of sojourners to do life with. While the majority of the year was filled with disappointment, it ended with hope as we are embarking on a journey of discovery and service together.

Because it was clear we are staying a while. We invested in real estate. I wrote about this in a post titled: "a place to call 'home'" God asked me to do the unthinkable. Something so far outside of my comfort zone I wasn't sure I could even accomplish such a task. I felt completely unequipped and inadequate. He asked me to make a home for Kenyon and I. I wrote about this in the post titled: "what is a homemaker?"

While God was busy changing my heart and behaviors. While I was busy building supporting relationships, attempting to be an encouragement to others, and learn what it means to be a homemaker. A miracle happened. Our marriage was restored. I wasn't even sure such a thing was possible, but I am grateful that He is faithful despite my disbelief.

I expect storms will remain part of life. In the midst of the storms God proved to be an everlasting rock. I trust Him more today than I did yesterday, or in this case more this year than I did the previous year. While He is faithful, I am not. That is what I will be focusing on in 2013. More to come on that in a future post...

just Sheri, trusting the everlasting rock to provide peace in the midst of storms

just read: love does

One of my book clubs recently completed the book Love Does by Bob Goff. The book is a series of stories - some funny, some heartbreaking, all with the intention of moving us to action.

Bob has done some interesting things. In my book club, each meeting, there was a discussion about his adventures - most found them amazing. While they are out of the ordinary and some stories are pretty grand, I was thinking about all of the people I met along the journey of life who could share similar stories - rescuing slaves, helping those in extreme poverty, going to the far reaches of the world for that one lost sheep, surviving harrowing circumstances..

I believe it is possible for EVERY human being to live a life and write a book like Bob's, but most of us don't. Why? Oh, the reasons excuses are many: I am too busy. I am not qualified. I am not ready. I will later.              (fill in the blank)

God is calling each of us on the great adventure. Ours won't look just like Bob's because we are each uniquely gifted. But, our adventure could still be pretty amazing.

What is holding you back from living a great adventure?

just Sheri, compelled by love to keep moving

house rules: no spectators

Spectator: an observer of an event

When I host a game night at our house, there is one rule: no spectators. Sure, it can be entertaining to watch. It's a lot more comfortable to sit and observe than to create...it's also a lot easier to be a critic from the side lines. 

I make this rule because we [humans] are made to be active participants, rather than observers. The best products, or experiences, come when shared and each person gives their unique contribution. Criticism becomes more constructive when there is "skin in the game" or ownership of the activities and their end product.

I shared this house rule at a recent birthday party with friends: no spectators.

I've been thinking about it in relation to church.

[insert photo of one person at the front speaking and all others sitting and listening]

Church wasn't made to be a spectator sport. It wasn't meant to be entertainment that we come to watch. While it might be more comfortable to sit and observe rather than to create - we miss out on life changing, full on, mind blowing experiences; because our comfort zone keeps those things out. An environment where ownership isn't shared is ripe for criticism and discontent - when things aren't going right, who's problem is it? Not mine. I am not in charge, they are.

I want to be a part of something where folks are engaged. Where things are happening and where each person's unique contribution (regardless of age, gender, race, or background) has a place to grow and develop and be shared. Me and a few of my friends are setting out on an adventure to create such a place. 

Where will it lead? Only God knows....

just Sheri, embarking on a new adventure

director of the everyday, tedious, and mundane

In one of two book clubs which I am a member, we were discussing contentment. Many people spend their life looking forward to the next thing - when I...am older...married...have kids...am finished with school...retire...change jobs. When..the kids are older...

You get the picture. We think we will be content "when" - which really means "we will be content when?"

I have done this - looking forward to when, rather than finding contentment in the present.

But, that is not my current struggle. My current struggle is looking back. When my life was my ministry. When I woke each morning with a strong sense of purpose. When my days were consumed by a calling much bigger than I. When I was living the adventure with those who were consumed by it too. Aahhh, those were the days...when can I get back to that?

Though the question is different, the result is the same. DISCONTENT.

Through the course of the subsequent months I have been trying to root out my discontent. My biggest struggle is my job. I have a good job, it just doesn't engage my heart the way previous work did. I am the director of everyday, mundane, and tedious responsibilities. I shuffle paper from one place to another, write emails and answer phones. The decisions that are made between the paper shuffling and professional communications do make a difference to many who are doing good, life-saving work. 

So, I show up each day and try to convince myself that it matters that I am sitting in my desk chair shuffling paper, responding to email and answering phones. I try to follow Jehoshaphat's instructions to ancient judges to "serve faithfully and wholeheartedly in the fear of the Lord." 

I want to be skilled at my work, but also satisfied with the task. I am asking God to change my heart. In place of restlessness, put peace. In place of discontent, put satisfaction. I must stop looking back and press on...toward whatever lies ahead.

just Sheri, reaching for the title of "surprisingly satisfied"

just read: Outliers

I read a lot. In fact I am currently a member of not one, but two book clubs...and I still have books I am reading independently.

There is one book I read this year that I have thought about again and again - Outliers by Malcom Gladwell.

This book has pertinent lessons in assertive communication - which is really important to leadership and relationship.

The author proposes that to be an expert at anything we must spend 10,000 hours practicing - which is really important when learning a new skill or encouraging those who think they cannot be successful. I used this concept with my students - "get up try again, keep practicing, you CAN succeed!"

The major concept, I will let the author describe in his own words:


"When outliers become outliers it is not just because of their own efforts. It's because of the contributions of lots of different people and lots of different circumstances— and that means that we, as a society, have more control about who succeeds—and how many of us succeed—than we think. That's an amazingly hopeful and uplifting idea." (taken from an interview found at www.gladwell.com).

I think another Gladwell book will make the reading list in the near future.

What do you think of this concept: no one succeeds on their own and we can contribute to the success of others?

just Sheri, grateful to all of my contributors