Global Leadership Summit: Condoleeza Rice

"Today's headlines and history's judgement are rarely the same."

culture shock: voluntary prison

I went on a road trip recently with a couple of ladies from Africa. One is visiting for a few months since her daughter just had a third child. I asked how her visit has been, this led to an interesting conversation about American cultural norms.

In America, we exit the car in our driveway and immediately head inside our home, rarely greeting our neighbors. Once inside, we generally close and lock the door behind us. Most homes have large windows to let in light or frame a view, but the windows are usually shut and covered with closed blinds or curtains drawn. I suppose this is for privacy and security. My friend had an interesting perspective on this - she called it "voluntary prison."

Photo by Stefano Costanzo via Fotopedia

We shut ourselves in and keep others out. We rarely engage with those in close proximity to us. We do this while living in the land of freedom and prosperity.  The majority of outings are to go to work, shops, or regularly scheduled meetings (like church). We started calling our road trip her "Prison Break."

I hadn't thought of this as a voluntary prison, but I noticed this myself since returning to America.

In our neighborhood, I make a point of talking to neighbors. When I see them outside, I wave enthusiastically and say, "Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening!" The looks I get are usually surprise and uncertainty.

I am sure there have been times folks thought, "Who is this crazy lady waving at me? She must think she knows me." Some people pretend not to see me, which only encourages me further. Some folks wave back hesitantly. What I've noticed is the more I do it, some folks now expect it and participate willingly.

There is an older gentleman who is often on his front stoop. I see him as I walk the neighborhood in the afternoons. He used to be reluctant to respond to my greetings. Now I get a smile, a wave, and a "how are you doing?"

When we lock ourselves up in voluntary prison - we miss out on relationship building opportunities. I am okay with being the crazy lady in the neighborhood. Why? Because people matter to God and therefore they matter to me. Though the culture of my origin tells me to isolate myself, distrust my neighbors and "act normal." I choose a different path.

Romans 12:2 (The Message)
"Don't become so well adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking..."

Are there cultural norms you have chosen to reject? Is there something you value more than "fitting in?"

just Sheri, defined by Christ rather than my culture

speak truth

Job 27:4 I will tell only the truth.

I wish this were true - that folks spoke truth. I wish. I wish. I wish. About once every four years (usually around election time) I write a political post. I try not to get in to politics much on this blog. Why? Because it is divisive, and frankly, I believe both parties have some things right and some things wrong and those prescribing to either party platform are entirely too self-righteous. 

Is it right to be fiscally responsible; protect innocent, unborn children who cannot speak for themselves; and protect the sanctity of marriage? I say, "yes!"

Is it right to have compassion for those who are struggling in difficult circumstances and give them a hand-up, to welcome the stranger in to our borders (with some provisions to maintain order), and to treat all people with dignity and respect? I say, "yes!"

What America has lost is civil discourse about such ideals. A bashing of the other's character, rather than a dialogue on convictions. But, that isn't the only thing we've lost...

I have been amazed in recent years at the incredible amount of "spin" that flies around in politics.This isn't a post aimed at any particular party, because if I were judge I would declare all "guilty."

Today's topic is aimed at a particular event: the attacks on U.S. Embassies and Consulates.

As a recovering Expatriate (Dictionary.com: to withdraw oneself from residence in one's native country.), I must tell you that the Embassy or Consulate is viewed as a refuge of safety. When I visited these locations in different spots around the globe, these were well fortified with security and built to withstand attack. I cannot believe these recent attacks are the response to a low-grade, low-budget, previously obscure and unknown video production. Honestly, who had even heard of this movie before the attacks? That is a red herring. There is something bigger going on and I feel strongly that our Executive and Congress are missing an opportunity to respond appropriately.

It was not an un-happy coincidence that the Behghazi attack occurred on September 11 (the anniversary of the largest terrorist attack on our soil). The rocket launcher that killed the Embassador did not appear as a result of a spontaneous demonstration. I feel insulted that this event would be classified as anything other than terrorism. Am I supposed to believe that folks just happen to have a rocket launcher in their home, and when they heard a ruckus decided to grab it on their way out the door? Nope, that doesn't happen. Just to have possession of a rocket launcher takes prior planning and it was obviously positioned to cause harm.

The events of recent weeks are terrorism (dictionary.com: the use of violence and threats to intimidate or coerce, especially for political purposes). What I don't understand is - why are we so reluctant to call it what it is? The only answer I can come up with is that if we call it terrorism, then we would have to do something about it...and that would be politically unpopular...and in case you forgot we are in an election with the objective of winning, rather than leading. 

What concerns me, more than political positioning, is that this has happened before. George Santayana rightly said: "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." So, with that in mind, let's take a little walk down memory lane:

• 1998: there were a series of embassy bombings in East Africa. (Thankfully, those were condemned by the U.N.)
• 2000: a suicide bomber attacked the USS Cole (Then, as now, leadership was reluctant to call it "terrorism" and it is my belief that is when al-Qaeda started to feel empowered to attempt an attack on US soil)
• 2004: September 11

There are some in leadership willing to call it "terrorism" - but none of these are running for political office. This morning I read this article from Reuter's describing the attack as "deliberate and organized:" http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/09/29/us-usa-libya-intelligence-idUSBRE88R1EG20120929

just Sheri, wishing we were electing leaders instead of politicians

Naming my fear

Earlier this year I wrote a post on paralyzing fear. Then a few weeks ago I was reading a book that challenged readers to name their fear, in order to overcome it.

I am taking it a step further - I am not only naming my fear, but I am posting it publicly for the whole world to see. Why? Because I refuse to let it have power over me any more.

What am I afraid of? Loss.

I have experienced some intense heartache over the years. Once upon a time I did meaningful work that consumed me. I loved my work and invested my whole self in it. I invested deeply in relationships. I was ALL in! Then I had to leave that work and those relationships. It broke my heart.

As if that wasn't tough enough, I had to do it again a couple of years later. Then again a year later, Then again a year after that. By the fourth time, I was already growing apprehensive of investing myself in meaningful work or relationships. But now, it is best categorized as a paralyzing fear.

Sure, I am dissatisfied with my "normal" life - waking each day to go to a job. Coming home to do it all again the next day. But, my fear of being ALL in and having that ripped from me again outweighs my discontent with normal.

Like a heartbroken teenager, I am scared to love again. I am scared to invest myself deeply and then be uprooted (again). I am scared to open myself up to relationships and then have to say good-bye (again), with  no idea when or where we will reunite. My heart is unsure it could love again like that. It is unsure if it would recover from such a fate.

But, when I look back at the relationships I built around the globe and the people and places that still hold a piece of my heart, I am reminded of Tennyson's poem (In Memoriam: 27, 1850): 

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all. 

2 Timothy 1:7 For God gave us not a spirit of fearfulness; but of power and love and discipline. 

What are you afraid of?

just Sheri, working to overcome fear

Where am I?

Recently, I attended a house warming party with my friend Vy. The food: Southeast Asian cuisine. The people: primarily Vietnamese. The entertainment: karaoke. The language: not English.

For a few moments, it took me back to my time living in Asia, where the restaurant next door would have karaoke four nights a week until the wee hours of the morning.

Then Vy showed up with a serving of dessert she had made. What was it? Flan. As in, the Latin American favorite...and a favorite of mine from childhood.

As I sat eating my flan and listening to karaoke (where I could not read or understand the lyrics), I thought to myself, "it's a wonderful life!"

Thank you, Vy, for sharing unique experiences like this with me.

just Sheri, gratefully transported to a different time and place