Quotable Quotes: a sojourners life

Jesus bids us to come and follow, "To respond to this calling is to accept that you will be a sojourner relinquishing the security of being a settler. To follow Him is to choose to forever be an alien and stranger in this world." ~Erwin McManus

what are you waiting for?

I recently heard a message from Pastor Steven Furtick. The topic: waiting.

Pastor Furtick challenges us to redefine waiting. Waiting isn't passive, it's active. He describes a scene of a restaurant. The "waiter" is not the one sitting at the booth, but the one carrying the tray and serving. He says, "You can spend your whole life waiting for God to do something for you, that he has already done...to give you something that is already yours."

I have witnessed this - God give me joy, wisdom, strength or favor. But, according to His word when we are in relationship with Him, obedient to His word, these things are already ours. Why are we asking for what we already have?

I have done this - God give me peace, love, or patience. In Him, I already have these things...if I let Him work in and through me.

I don't want to miss out on life, waiting for God to answer a prayer that He has already promised. I will serve Him in "the waiting room," ready for the next instruction.

just Sheri, actively waiting

Active Summer

These days, I mostly live life off-line. But from time-to-time, I come back to give a short news report. It has been an active summer full of new and interesting activities.

My dear friend Phim and I took a couple of road trips early in the Summer. One trip was to New Jersey, prior to that trip I had only seen the Newark airport. We had an excellent time with girlfriends in Atlantic City - walking the Boardwalk, looking at the ocean, sitting by the pool of our hotel, listening to live music and laughing until the wee hours of the morning.

Our second road trip was inspired by a calendar with a photo of the Blue Ridge mountains. She made a comment that she wanted to go there...so we did. We spent some time in North Carolina with her friends and with mine. We felt welcomed everywhere we went, but at one stop, our hosts made sure we knew it.

One of the highlights from the visit to North Carolina was meeting beautiful Valentina. She was a baby born of the heart, but conceived by others. This family and ours shared this journey. Valentina is their blessing brought through adoption. My friend Jan used to be such a curmudgeonly Brit, it was a pleasant surprise to see him smiling so much!

We also hosted a housewarming. I learned why they call it this - "housewarming." After everyone left, it felt more like home than it had before. Why? I think because it was filled with memories of people and laughter and fun. Thanks friends (and family) for warming our house.

I've had some wonderful times with Vy, too. We continue to share new experiences. I took her and her sister to an Independence Day parade -thier first live parade.

They took me to a celebration at the Vietnamese Buddhist Temple in Maryland. There were Vietnamese celebrities, lots of food, and a fun atmosphere.

This is only a sampling of our active summer. There has still been plenty of kayaking and hiking adventures. Some golf outings. Lots of food. A visit from family and time spent with people.

As kids are headed back to school and (supposedly) the weather starts to cool - what are the highlights of your summer?

just Sheri, active off-line

crossroads of the world

Recently I was stopped at a light on my way home. On my left was a Latin Hair Salon with all their services listed in Spanish. Next to that was a Halal butcher with writing in Arabic. Across the street was a Korean grocer with a Korean neon sign and across from that was an Afghan kabob restaurant which smelled of curry and cinnamon.

I took a deep breath and thought, "this is what I like about living here - the mass amounts of diversity. It as if every corner of the world is represented in one place."

The nations come here. It's wonderful. Really wonderful.

just Sheri, embracing the diversity

ongoing negotiations

I've been trying to negotiate with God for an extended period of time (years). When I left my dream job where I was doing work that I believed to be meaningful, with people that I cared about deeply - I started negotiating with God.

Okay, God, I will walk away from this if I could be a mom. This seemed a reasonable option to me because I viewed it as an acceptable trade-off. I was still working for the same organization in a different role that I thought prioritized my family over work...hoping that our family would grow. This was in 2009.  I've changed jobs and locations since, each time asking God to grant my request. Years later we remain childless.

There have been times I begged God to take away the desire to be a mother because it is too painful to keep hoping. He has not granted this request either.

The end of 2011 I went to a medical professional and asked the question - is there a biological reason this isn't happening? Why haven't I been able to conceive? Her answer was even more painful than expected. There is no explanation. I should be able to...but haven't. Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?Why? Why?

I don't have an answer and none of my attempts have worked. Since my medical visit I believe God has told me I will be a mom - through a vivid dream and the words of others. Weeks after going to the doctor I had a dream I was pregnant, it was as if I was experiencing all the changes I have heard a body goes through during that time. I believe God told me to trust Him for my future. In waking hours I chalked the dream up to having "baby" on the brain. Then a friend I met through my previous work told me she felt like she needed to tell me I am going to be a mom. She lives in a different state and didn't even know I had been to the doctor or had the dream. A few weeks later I was with a group from church. After a time of prayer, a man I hardly know came up to me and said, "have you been trying to have kids?" I think he knew the answer from my face as my eyes involuntarily well up with tears every time it is mentioned.

He said, "I feel God wants you to know it is going to happen."

Months later, it still hasn't. Recently Kenyon and I decided to try the adoption option again. I have begun the research phase, gathering as much information as I can so we can make an informed decision - hopefully with a successful outcome (this time). I don't think either of us would recover well from another failed attempt. Chandani's picture remains on our fridge reminding us of the pain of a broken heart and unfulfilled dreams. She is our little girl that we could not bring home.

just Sheri, risking in spite of fear