Marital Communications 401

The Hubs came home a couple of nights ago carrying a shopping bag. I innocently asked, "what's in the bag?"

He pulls out a little pig, vacuum sealed in plastic. It is very obviously a pig. The snout and hoofs and little tail are all quite visible.

My response, "Ewwww! I can't believe you just put that on our bed."

He says, "I can't believe they sell pigs at the bookstore."

We both got a good laugh. Hopefully, you did too.

Thankfully, we only had to host the pig one night as the next morning he took it to his biology class to dissect. I am grateful I neither had to participate in, nor witness such an event. I'm also grateful that it happened "off-site," meaning not in our apartment.

just Sheri, NOT a biologist

Ready to write again

The "noise" that was in my head is finally clearing. For a few weeks now it felt like there was constant static - not a cogent thought, just unfocused and distracting "noise." My ability to focus is returning.

I have also been sick for the past two weeks. First, with flu-like symptoms. Then, something akin to a head cold. The flu is gone. The head cold has seriously improved.

I am ready to return to this blog and continue sharing the journey of life, again, with all of you.

I am surprised that even in my absence the stats on this blog stayed strong. With few original posts, there were still over a thousand visits. Again, I don't write to have the most popular blog, or even to be known as a blogger. I write with the hope that it blesses someone - gives them a laugh, or causes them to pause and reflect, or stirs some sense of adventure in their soul and causes the reader to think "maybe I am made for more than this."

So...I'm back. Ready to write again. Though the frequency is still to be determined.

just Sheri, returning to normal

in absentia

Maybe you've been wondering where I have been recently. Not many original blog posts in recent months, then suddenly none at all.

What happened? A LOT.

The best way to describe the events of recent months is mourning...I have been in mourning. In ancient times I would have been dressed in sackcloth and covered in ashes. In our modern times, I woke-up each morning. Dressed for work. Went through the motions of my day and went home. Few knowing what was happening beneath the exterior.

What have I been mourning?


I have been mourning the loss of my life's dream(s). Yes, I have mentioned the grieving and uncertainty on this blog before. But, I had been unwilling to let it go. I kept hoping that someday, somehow it would revive...then I could return as if I had never left. Then I got an answer from God that I wasn't ready to hear. Let it DIE.


I didn't want to. I hung on. It seemed like everything I read for weeks - fiction, non-fiction, scripture, non-scripture - over and over I received the same message. Let it DIE.


I could have easily accepted an extended delay. Or, perhaps, even a re-packaging. But, death? Death is so final.

The message is clear. I am to let my dream DIE.


Why? I still don't know the answer to that single question, but I have received my marching orders and am holding on to the hope in John 12:24.

"Truly, truly, I say to you, 

unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; 
but if it dies, it bears much fruit."

Someday, I hope to see the fruit of this difficult choice.

In the midst of an emotional journey, while Encore posts were running on this blog and our one year in the US anniversary came and went. Holiday's were celebrated globally, etc, etc, etc...another major event happened.. Someone died.


Just before Thanksgiving I took a road trip to South Carolina. This was not a vacation. I had been commissioned by a force beyond myself to visit my biological father. I invited myself to his home for a weekend. Thankfully he accepted my imposition. My brother and his wife were also there.

I had not spent that much time with my biological father in approximately two decades. It was a pleasant weekend and I am grateful for that time together. Before taking the trip I had lots of reasons (excuses) why this was a bad idea. I went anyway.

Two days after Christmas I got a phone call from my brother. Our dad shot himself. He committed suicide. His father had committed suicide. His grandfather had committed suicide. Despite the tragedy of this situation I am awed by the grace of God.

God's grace...

• led me to spend a weekend with my birth father, though it didn't make sense
• allowed me to forgive pains from the past so that the time spent together was pleasant
• brought family members from all over the nation to celebrate his life
• placed me back in America so I could be part of that reunion (participation would not have been possible if I was still overseas)

I have no answers. I only see a small portion of a much bigger reality. I am still processing it all. My writing on this blog will likely come in starts and stops over the coming weeks - sometimes on, sometimes not. I will share what I think is appropriate...when it is appropriate. I have received cards from all over the US since this event. I thank all of you for your support.

just Sheri, because of God's grace

2011 year in review: joy(ful)

The chosen theme for 2011 was audacious joy. It was primarily "audacious" because at the time of selecting this theme my world was in shambles. Everything was out of whack, off kilter. Uncertainty abounded. We were both unemployed and moving continents for the third time in less than two years. The few things we owned were held in embargo in Africa. We were living in a new place (Virginia), where we were strangers and unfamiliar with our surroundings. The pressure on our relationship was almost more than it could bear. I looked at my circumstances, which were heartbreaking, and in response I chose joy.

Shortly after choosing the theme for 2011 I read a scripture in Habakkuk 3 that summarized my position.

Habakkuk 3:17-18
Though the fig tree should not blossom,
nor fruit be on the vines,
the produce of the olive fail
and the fields yield no food,
the flock be cut off from the fold
and there be no herd in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the Lord:
I will take joy in the God of my salvation.


In February, I received a job offer for my current position. Employment was a welcome blessing. Kenyon was blessed with the position he wanted at a hospital in the area beginning in June.

In March, the shipping company found a way around the embargo and our stuff arrived on our doorstep. If you knew the specifics, you would know this was miraculous.

In April, we found an apartment and began to re-establish our lives in a new place. God met our need and then blessed us to overflowing. We were given enough household goods to actually set-up house.

Living in the US is like living a 5-star existence (especially in comparison to our previous locations), but the amount of grumbling and complaining remains a mystery (and frustration) to me. Once again, the Bible provided guidance - joy is NOT determined by circumstances whether they be want or plenty. The comedian  Groucho Marx reminded me that joy is a choice.

I had plenty of days with tears and wallowing. Troubles have not ceased. But, on the days when I chose joy - joy is what defined my day. Joy is a choice. As often as possible, choose joy.

In summary, in the year of audacious joy - God showed up. He showed himself to be faithful - even in my disbelief.

just Sheri, more joyful

Willing Surrender

I believe strongly in voluntary personal sacrifice. It is a value we admire in our society. We have sayings like:

"Live simply so others may simply live."

Someone quoted this to me recently - while owning two homes, three cars, a sail boat and more "toys" than I can name. I try not to be judgmental, but I definitely have a reaction to such hypocrisy. As my friend Phim often reminds me - I have "no poker face"...no matter how I try.

While I cannot control the choices of others, I can make personal choices about the depths of my sacrifice. On a regular basis I evaluate expenses or schedule and adjust accordingly.

In the month of January the congregation I attend is asking that we each willingly sacrifice something. One of the families I hang with is giving up meat. Another woman I know is giving up sugar. I cannot decide what to surrender. I am willing, but clueless.

I've thought about giving up TV altogether. Though I don't watch much television there are a few shows I follow online or have weekly watch parties with friends.

I've thought about giving up eating out, but that is also a rarity in my life.

I don't eat much meat already. I don't drink coffee or alcohol.

I am not saying this to toot my horn. I just haven't come up with an idea that I feel is enough of a sacrifice and worthy of the cause.

So, I put this out there in cyber land - what suggestions do you have? What might you (or have you) given up for a similar cause?

Just Sheri, clueless