What is your favorite thing about living in America?

Last week I was sitting with a group of women who were originally from Tanzania, when civil war erupted in their home land these women lived in a refugee camp in Burundi and have now immigrated to America via Virginia.

My purpose is to practice English with them, to grow their confidence so they can find work and improve daily interactions...and of course build relationship.

We talked about marriage and family. One woman has 11 children. Two women had seven children. One had four children. The smallest family was two children, but she was just getting started.

I asked what is their favorite thing about living in America?

One of the mothers of seven, who is also a grandma of two, said without hesitation - SLEEP! I gave her a quizzical look. She explained, "Here I sleep better. I don't worry about who is going to come to our home at night or what might happen."

Other answers were the dishwasher, washing machine and clothes dryer.

The school bus also made the list. Where they come from children walk to school, usually from long distances. They love that a bus now comes to their neighborhood to pick up their children.

As I sat with these women in their colorful wrap skirts and head scarves...I felt like I was home - that warm, comfortable feeling like all is right in the world and I am where I am supposed to be.

just Sheri, making friends

Quotable Quotes: Dr. Seuss

"Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple." 
— Dr. Seuss

just Sheri, attempting to keep it simple

Quoteable Quotes: believing the impossible

The only way to find the limits of the possible is by going beyond them to the impossible. ~Arthur C. Clarke

definitions of "rude" - a cultural construct

It has been a few short months since we boarded a plane in Africa bound for the USA. I still miss the overseas life. I certainly miss the palm trees and sunshine of Mozambique...and the people I met along the way are still very dear to my heart and I wish they weren't so far away.

I am committed to cultural diversity and am grateful for those who helped me transition in new lands and showed me hospitality when I was far from home. In order to pass it on I have started volunteering with a local organization that helps refugee families in their transition.

One of the things I was asked to do was attend a dinner group with Americans who are volunteering with the newcomer families. In these discussions, I am reminded of how many of our ideas are cultural constructs and how often we assign value judgments to them.

I do it this way and that is the right way. Others do it that way and that is the wrong way.

Really? What if it is just different? Can we get past the difference?

Is being late rude? Perhaps. However, the definition of late varies greatly across cultures. In some places showing up 2 hours after the scheduled time is still an acceptable window. Yes, 2 hours. The definition of "late" is a cultural construct and the value assigned is ultimately an arbitrary one.

Is it rude to disregard cordial greetings in order to accomplish a task? Perhaps. Again, this is defined by culture. In many parts of the world EVERY interaction is cordial. Conversation, business meetings and even email begin with - How are you? How is your family? How was that important event?...These cannot be ignored as they matter greatly to relationship - even professional ones. The task at hand isn't as important as the people involved - or is it the other way around?

just Sheri, keenly aware of the differences

Marriage 301: relationship advice from Griff

Griff is the home health care nurse that visits us weekly. He is originally from the Pacific Islands, but that was decades ago. He has made America his home and even served in our military. We look forward to his visits and usually have a lively discussion. The topic for last week - marriage.

Griff says: (not to me directly) "My dear, when you marry a man you are marrying a child. If you are not willing to raise that man, then you should not get married."

When I was in college a friend of mine was getting married and her mom said, "In marriage, the wife gives and gives and gives...and when the husband reaches about the age of 55 that investment pays off."

The two seem to have a common thread. Do you think it is accurate?

just Sheri, curious