year in review: abounding kindness

The theme for 2010 was abounding kindness.  I received a comment on that post earlier this week asking, "how'd it go?"

By focusing on kindness, I have become more aware of kind acts demonstrated by others:

• six girls from Burundi
• the giving pledge
• giving a homeless man dignity

I was the recipient of kindness:

• generous colleagues
• good girlfriends

I have struggled with the issue of beggars and (finally) came to a conclusion:

• what to do when encountering beggars in the street?
• the Biblical response to beggars
• setting a humanity budget

Sometimes kindness doesn't have to be demonstrated through grand gestures, but rather through simple acts - a smile is universal. And sometimes we miss those opportunities - respect for the elderly.

I hope the year of abounding kindness resulted in a kinder Sheri. However, it still doesn't come naturally to me and requires some effort - so there is plenty of room for improvement.

How about you, how did you do on your new year's resolution for 2010? Do you even remember what it was?

Just Sheri, a work in progress

New Year's Theme: audacious joy

We cannot cure the world of sorrows, but we can choose to live in joy. ~Joseph Campbell, teacher

A long time ago I gave up new year's resolutions. Why? They never lasted, nor were fulfilled. But, I find the end of one year and the beginning of another a great time for intentional reflection about what was accomplished in the previous year and to consider goals for the coming year. I go through an exercise annually that I call "A Personal Development Plan." It involves character goals (stuff on the inside that could improve toward becoming a better person), and relational goals (including my family, friends or community), and personal goals (study, hobbies, health, etc). I review this plan a few times each year and ask myself - how am I doing? Do I need to adjust course in any area? 

When this list is complete, I determine a theme and define a few key objectives I'd like to accomplish (three to be exact) by asking myself "what does this mean to me?"

I have found this to be a VERY productive exercise and that is why I keep doing it.

The theme for this year is audacious joy. Joy is not derived from our circumstances, but rather something that comes from the inside. I view it as a choice. In 2010, we moved continents three times (Asia to Africa to North America). We ended the year with a lot of uncertainty, which has carried over in to the new year. We still have no income. We are still trying to plant roots in a place we have never lived before. We are living with a family that was thrown in to chaos through a health crisis and the disease that caused it is chronic and treatments tried to date haven't worked to bring it under control. We had sold nearly everything before moving overseas and don't currently have enough to furnish a one-bedroom apartment. Added to that the few things we do own are in embargo in Africa for the foreseeable future. Because we have no jobs, we have no health insurance - this means we must continue to postpone dental or doctor visits. I personally would really appreciate a physical and some de-worming meds to make sure there aren't any weird parasites growing in me, but that isn't possible right now.  

I share all of this, not to be overly revealing in a public space, but to illustrate that our circumstances are not ideal. Frankly, they are difficult. But joy isn't dependent on circumstances.

In 2011, I choose joy - audacious joy. My joy will be reckless, bold, daring and fearless. 

What about you? What is your new year's theme or resolution?

Just Sheri, looking forward to a bright future

job search = volunteer

Many moons ago when I was an academic advisor to graduate students I would often be asked, "what is the best way to get in the door of a good company or a desirable sector?"

My answer was always the same - volunteer. Volunteer avidly. If you know what you want to do, offer to help an organization doing it. If you do a good job they might keep you around, or someone else might snatch you up. It worked for me and I have watched it work for others.

Fast forward to the present and I am looking for a job in a part of the country where I do not have a strong professional network. I am taking my own advice and volunteering.

So far it has put me in touch with many organizations doing the kind of work I am interested in doing. Maybe it will lead to a paying role somewhere? If nothing else, it is something productive to add to my resume so I can explain what I was doing between jobs.

Just Sheri, an advocate for volunteering

who's responsible?

In recent weeks I have been asked one question many times. It is a follow-up to one of the most popular posts on this blog - What would you do for love? 


The question has come up with close friends and family members. It has been asked by acquaintances. Frankly, the question irritates me - not because it causes any doubt in me, but because it demonstrates to me what I find frustrating in our modern world.


What question has been asked so often that I am dedicating a blog post to it? What is it that has my panties in a wad and the hairs on the back of my neck standing up?


Why is it your responsibility to help this family?


That is a loaded question and I don't like it. My first reaction and the one that usually doesn't come out of my mouth is - "that is exactly what is wrong with the world. No one wants to help anyone when it is an inconvenience to themselves." 


What usually comes out of my mouth is - "do you have another solution?"


The answer I get is - "let someone else do it."


In case you are wondering. My days aren't glamorous. They are filled with playing taxi, doctors visits, daily IV's, sometimes blood, sometimes tears, sometimes bad moods and needy children. None of this my own, nor for myself. I watch our savings dwindle and only faint hopes of income on the horizon.


This choice has cost us. I left work I felt privileged to be a part of and gave up the opportunity for a good job in Kenyon's home town, where his family and our friends live. In order for us to stay together geographically, Kenyon gave up enrollment in a nursing class he had his heart set on. These were not easy sacrifices.


We are moving to a place where our primary contacts are this family and our social network outside of this home is limited. 


We also have limited familiarity with the area itself and are having to learn our way around in a new town and a state that is new to us.


I would be lying if I didn't say that some days I am tired. Some days I miss my old life and work. Some days I wish I could see more improvement or an immediate pay-off for the effort. But I NEVER question the importance of what I am doing, nor why I am doing it.


We came because my friend called me in tears in the wee hours of the morning (for her) and asked for my help. Months before she called God impressed upon my heart that I made a commitment to this family years ago to be the Godmother to these kids in the event that something bad happened. Something bad happened and I am determined to keep my commitment. Thankfully their mother is still alive, but she is sick. When she asked for my help. I knew my answer. It was obviously, "yes." I didn't think about the costs. I wouldn't do this for just anybody. In my world there are a handful of people on earth who qualify for this level of personal sacrifice. This friend is among that small group.


What is ailing me is the amount of push back we are getting from others. Some people have said they wouldn't even do this for their own family members, much less someone who is not a blood relative.


That, my friends, is what I think is wrong with the world. Hands down each of these dissenting voices would expect someone in their lives to give to them at this level if they needed it, but they are unwilling to do the same for someone else.


If not us, then who? Whose responsibility is it? Can someone, please, explain that to me?


Just Sheri, curious why the responsibility should be for someone else

lessons from fairy tales

How many times have you seen the story Cinderella? I can't even count the number of times I've seen it. I generally don't like fairy tale stories from Disney. Why? Because it usually involves a princess, who is fully capable, pining away for her prince to come.


It is my belief that the best prince will be found while living, not hidden away in a castle. I don't like sending the message to young girls that they are incomplete without a man. Instead, they should be all they were created to be and then find a man who appreciates them for who they are...anyway, I digress.


The purpose of this post isn't about the messages we send to girls about their worth, but instead I was reminded of one message in the fairy tale story of Cinderella that I do like. A message that is worth repeating. What is it? Believing in the impossible. Here is the wonderful exchange between her and her fairy godmother...


Cinderella: Is it possible to get those things by wishing for them?

Fairy Godmother: Well, the sensible people of this world will say Fol-de-rol and fiddle dee dee and fiddley faddley foddle all the wishes in the world are poppy cock and twoddle.

Cinderella: Aren't they?

Fairy Godmother: Not always. The sensible people will also say Fol-de-rol and fiddle dee dee and fiddley faddley foodle all the dreamers in the world are dizzy in the noodle.

Cinderella: And aren't they?

Fairy Godmother: Not always, especially when there is someone who loves you to help you...

Cinderella: Oh, dear Fairy Godmother it all seems so impossible!!

Fairy Godmother: Impossible! But the world is full of zanies and fools who don't believe in sensible rules and won't believe what sensible people say.. and because these daft and dewey eyed dopes keep building up impossible hopes impossible things are happening every day!


I must be one of those daft and dewey eyed dopes, because I keep building up impossible hopes that impossible things will happen. What impossible things are you hoping for?


Just Sheri, (still) hoping for the impossible