What would you do for love?

When I was growing up my dad used to correct me when I would casually use the word "hate."  I hate that movie. I hate that school subject. I hate those clothes.

Using this word would spark the same response, "Hate is a strong word. You shouldn't use it unless you mean it." Now I understand the wisdom of his words, but today I would like to apply it to the antithesis of hate...and that is love.

We often say things like "I love that show...I love that color...I love those shoes."

In Southern Africa, it is common for a young man to say to a woman on the street that he finds attractive "I love you."  This happens between complete strangers as an introduction. This has happened to me a couple of times in Mozambique. I wasn't sure if I should be flattered that a young man found an old married woman attractive? Or, if I should be offended that such important words were used in such a cavalier way?

Today, I am making an announcement that reduces me to tears (even as I try to type on a blurry screen).

I quit my job.

Yup, I am leaving work that I love, with people that I love and a worthy cause that I would love to devote my life to. Why would I do such a thing? What is my motivation?

There is a family in America that I love more. Right now they need me. Someone else can be Country Director of Mozambique - there are many somebodies who can do the job.

But, there is a mother in the US who is suffering from crippling pain and has been diagnosed with an incurable disease, treatment isn't working, so the doctors continue to test her for other incurable and some degenerating diseases. There are three children that I have watched grow from when they were much younger, whom I love as much as if they had come from my own body. This family needs me. They have asked for my help and I will gladly give what I have. All I have is me, my presence in their everyday lives during this crisis. There are not a lot of somebodies who can walk in to that home and provide this service. I am uniquely qualified for this job and I accept it with a grateful heart. Why? Because of love.

This role does not come with a paycheck attached. It does not come with a fancy title. To be perfectly clear, we are making another cross-continent move, with no secured income, no home, no automobile, very little furniture, and a whole lot of uncertainty - we are doing this for one reason only. LOVE!

Last night I received word that a bad situation took a turn for the worst. I am going to do everything in my power to get there. Today, I am making the announcement to the team in Mozambique that we are leaving and soon.

None of this is easy. Nothing is assured. But, I have learned through this situation (and really the events of the past 16 months) that love is a strong word and we shouldn't say it unless we mean it.

What would you do for love?

Just Sheri, trying to walk it out

Declaration of Financial Independence

In honor of election season I thought I would write a semi-political post. I am a fiscal conservative that believes in helping the needy. I know the two are often considered mutually exclusive. One political party likes to claim one of these ideals over another. I have never fully understood this as I don't see the two as opposites, but rather they are both worthy pursuits.

The two can co-exist - I believe I am proof of this fact. However, my approach is (voluntary) individual sacrifice for the good of the whole at a household level, rather than a national level (which ends up being compulsary through taxation). I think that system assumes the worst about people - that if given the chance we would choose not to be generous. I choose to assume that everyone wants to make a difference in the world, some are just waiting for the right opportunity to act.

My financial institution recently sent out a challenge called the Declaration of Financial Independence. What is that? I copied it below. I signed it. It is something I believe and try to live.

1.We will spend less than we earn. Saving a little out of every dollar we bring home is the foundation of independence. Without it, we can't build equity in our home, we can't invest for the future, and we can't be ready for challenging times.

2.We will use our home as a savings account. Besides shelter and comfort for our family, the role of a house in our financial life is to build equity. We will have a healthy down payment when we buy. We'll choose the mortgage that lets us pay down the principal fastest. And then we'll leave that equity safe where it is instead of spending it on things that don't last.

3.We will take care of our money. It's not enough to have money in a bank. We will put it where it will grow. We'll keep track of it. And we'll check every account we have every year to protect ourselves against fraud or escheatment.

4.We will defend our credit worthiness. Good credit is going to be precious in the years to come. We will pay our bills on time. We'll borrow only when we need to and in amounts we can comfortably pay back. And then we'll do just that.

5.We will ignore unsolicited credit card marketing. We decide when we need a credit card, not some marketer. And mostly, we probably don't need another one at all. We won't even open those solicitations. We'll shred them.

6.We will know the cost of borrowing. The interest lenders charge us is real money, too. When we buy a mortgage or finance a purchase, we'll figure out what that interest is really going to cost in dollars, add it to the purchase price, and ask ourselves if it's still worth it.

7. We will invest for the long term. Futures are built out of patience and prudence, not luck. We will not put off being a saver because we think there's a lottery win in our future, in Vegas or on Wall Street.

8.We will take care of the things we have. We work hard for our money, and it's disrespectful to waste it - or the planet - by treating our possessions as disposable.

9.We will remember what matters. We are not the things we own. If we have to spend and spend on bigger, more impressive things to keep up with our friends, then they are not our friends at all.

I would have been excited to see a political leader stand up and challenge America to do these things in the last political election - rather than the talk of bail outs (which turned in to exactly what I expected - increased deficits and little to show for it). If every American could commit to this - we could have avoided the recession we experienced or could be climbing out by now. This is a challenge to think long-term. To live values. To be responsible. These are good and prudent practices that ultimately benefit everyone. The more money I have in my pocket, the more money I have to give to those in need - rather than pay interest on my debt.

There is a final declaration...

10.We will be heard. Our representatives in government and the corporations we deal with need to know that we are paying attention. If we're silent, we're accepting the status quo, and the business practices that got our country into this situation will continue. We are not going to accept that.

If deficit spending doesn't work in my personal budget, why would it be a good idea on a national level? It's not. Just like the large homes that were bought and then lost to forclosure - some day the bill is going to come due. We will pay. And I am quite sure as a nation we have not done an adequate job assessing the cost of our borrowing.

Will you agree to this declaration? Why or why not?

Sheri

P.S. I have posted about this before - you can read those posts here, here, and here.

no pockets: a challenge of women's clothing

As a woman I have often wondered why our clothes can be so impractical. Certain shoes and skirts make it difficult (and possibly painful) to get around. One of my pet peeves about women's clothing is the lack of pockets. What is up with that? It can be an incredible inconvenience!

This isn't just a problem in the culture I come from. It seems to be a universal problem. In Mozambique, the women usually wear long skirts called capulanas (cop-oo-lawn-a-sh). Generally, it is just a long piece of brightly colored fabric wrapped around the waste. The women in the rural areas do everything in their capulanas, including farming.

On a recent visit to one of our provinces I noticed the women had come up with a unique solution to the no pockets dilemma - where to keep their cell phone? Wrap it in the capulana. Notice the rectangular bulge around their waist.

In case you are wondering, cell phones are VERY common in rural areas of the developing world. These women solved an age old dilemma (no pockets) in order to carry their modern technology (cell phones).

Women, do you hear me on this no pockets thing? Where do you stash things when you don't want to carry a handbag?

Sheri

Keeping it Real...

I was recently reminded of a story that had a big impact on me as a young(er) person. I think I was around 15 years old when I read a children's story and it brought with it new insight. I was reminded about this by a blog post from a stranger, which was retweeted by a friend. So, I clicked the link to Single Dad Laughing and a post about The Disease Called  "Perfection".

I like what the author had to say, it has obviously resonated with many. It has certainly identified a major problem in the culture I come from, which is also likely a human condition.

The blogger says:

"Perfection" is a hideous monster with a really beautiful face. And chances are you're infected. The good news is, there is a cure.

Be real.

Embrace that you have weakness. Because everybody does. Embrace that your body is not perfect. Because nobody's is. Embrace that you have things you can't control. We all have a list of them.

Be real...BE real....Be REAL...Real, really? That is a tough one.

Through a serious of difficult circumstances in my life I have come to despise pretense. I have a very low tolerance for it anymore - but it wasn't always this way and sometimes I can still slip back in to old habits because being real is also quite a vulnerable place to live.

What does a children's story have to do with this difficult, adult topic? It offers the best explanation I've ever seen of what it means to be real - really real. Below is an excerpt from the Velveteen Rabbit.

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day..."Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you..."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."
 
"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"


"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you become Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

Enough said. What are your thoughts on the disease of "Perfection" and the struggle to become real?

Sheri

spring in Maputo

I left to Kenya in late September and returned to Mozambique in early October to a beautiful discovery - the Jacaranda tree. I know that I talk about the beauty of Africa a lot, but that is because that is what I see when I look around. God has blessed this continent with natural beauty (and lots of valuable minerals - but that could be a subject for another post).

I grew up in the high dessert of the USA. Why does that matter? Well, because my exposure to various tree varieties has been limited as a result. I can recognize an aspen tree or a pine tree, maybe an elm or oak. Outside of that - not much.

I grew to appreciate magnolia trees when living in the midwest, but I cannot recall ever seeing a Jacaranda before.

Our neighborhood in Maputo is lined with trees, but it has been winter here since we arrived. The leaves fell off and I've only seen sticks for a number of months. My welcome home was stunning. Purple blooms on the branches, that fall to the ground and look like a fairy tale (at least to my eye).

In case you haven't had the pleasure of seeing a Jacaranda tree before. Below is a photo that I stole from a strangers blog. This is what one looks like in full bloom. This looks nice, but a photo cannot do the color and texture justice. It is a sight!

I hear there are places in the US where Jacaranda grow. Have you seen one? Does this tree grow where you live?

Sheri