F.A.Q. (frequently asked questions)

While we were home in America there were some questions we were asked quite a few times. Since there seemed to be common questions, I thought this may be stuff the rest of you were wondering too and hadn't asked. So, I am going to answer them here for your reading pleasure.

Q: what do you miss most? what is the hardest thing about living overseas?

S: Relationships are the hardest thing and what I miss most. I don't like the distance between me and those I love. Making new friends isn't easy on the other side of the world - there are language difficulties, cultural differences, we are all consumed by work because that is our reason for being here, and this life is transient. People come, people go. So, going deep is difficult as most people you meet are counting down until they return "home." Sometimes it doesn't seem worth all the effort to try and overcome the distance and time difference with old friends, or the energy it takes to keep making and saying good-bye to new friends. I wrote a little about this in an earlier post, but I expect it will be an ongoing challenge.

K: Safety is the hardest thing about living overseas and what I miss most about America. We are constantly concerned for our safety. We often don't go out after dark. We make sure we know where the other one is at all times. We have the number of the US Embassy programmed in our phone just in case, because you never know what can happen.

Q: What is African food like?

S: Well, there really isn't one "African" cuisine. Each country has it's own unique flavors. In Mozambique, they eat a lot of seafood because it is readily available being on the coast. A lot of beans and rice. The beef is usually imported from South Africa and is of good quality. Pizza is available. We mostly eat at home and cook. Fast or convenient food isn't readily available. The only "chain" restaurant available that an American would recognize is KFC. The chicken is different than in the US, but they do have an excellent ice cream sundae. I know because Kenyon ordered one once and I ate it all...I couldn't help myself. Why? because it is a rarety to find decent dessert. Even if cake is available, it isn't sweet like an American would expect it to be. We eat a lot more fresh vegetables, no processed foods, and a whole lot less sugar...essentially, we eat healthier in Africa than we did living in the US.

I hope you enjoyed this installment of FAQ's. Feel free to ask any question you are wondering. As I think of (or receive) them I will post more Q & A.

Sheri

summer reading: Mandela's Way

Nelson Mandela is revered as a hero to many (especially in this part of the world). I am fascinated by his story. Why? Because he spent 27 years in prison and came out speaking about reconciliation and forgiveness. That is NOT a typical response...which is what I think won him such notoriety. There are varying opinons on his politics, but I still think there is a lot to be learned from Mandela's life. I will share two of the lessons gleaned from the book - from my perspective.

Lesson One: age is just a number.

Mandela became the first democratically elected president of South Africa in 1994, he was 77 years old. Winston Churchil was 66 years old when he became Prime Minister in England, and then unwaivering led the country through World War II.

Most of us have images of sitting in rockers and looking back over our lives at that age, just waiting for the inevitable end to come. Not these men! They were still accomplishing great things, in fact many would consider it their finest hour, at what is traditionally retirement age. So, greatness is possible at any age when tied to a great cause. It reminds me of an earlier post on destiny...when the opportunity arises, we are ready for the challenge.

Mandela..."you will reap something more valuable if you take a longer view."

I am currently 33 years old, going on 34 next month...that means, using these examples, I still have a long road ahead of me and don't need to see or have everything right now. Day-by-day I should remain faithful to the task in front me, while being guided by core values...for the long run. 

Lesson Two: believe the best in others.

"People will feel I see too much good in people," Mandela once told [the author]. "So it's a criticism I have to put up with, and I've tried to adjust because whether it is so or not, it is something I think is profitable. It's a good thing to assume, to act on the basis that others are men of integrity and honor, because you tend to attract integrity and honor if that is how you regard those with whom you work. I believe that."

This is not always easy to do. I live in a world where we are confronted by corruption daily. It is easy to get jaded by this, thus trusting others becomes impossible when assuming everyone is a thief. Mandela's experience wasn't different than my own, yet he chose to assume (and act) as if others are men (and women) of integrity and honor. I expect others to treat me that way and not automatically assume the worst, so I should extend the same dignity to them, believing the best first.

There are many other lessons to be gleaned from this book, but you will have to read the rest for yourself. These were the most relevant to me right now, so that is what I decided to share. It is my blog after all.

Have you read a book about Mandela's life? What did you learn from his story?

Sheri

Leadership Summit: TD Jakes

By far my favorite speaker this year was TD Jakes. At the end of his talk I was in tears, and I mean one of those ugly cries with snot coming out your nose. Obviously, what he had to say touched me. I can't add to it, so I will just share the highlights of his powerful words.

Sometimes it's hard to be the encourager. The one you are encouraging leaves with your courage and you are left discouraged. (I have been there)

Sometimes you will feel tired, depleted and operating in the red (done that)

What you have is a God who can help you so you can help them; give you passion so they can have passion; fire so they will burn. (needed that)

"When my heart is overwhelmed,
I go to the rock which is higher than me.
Renew my strength. Increase my faith."

It seems to be working.

Psalm 62: 1-3 My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.

Sheri

Leadership Summit: Adam Hamilton

Going in to the Summit I had a pressing question on my mind - how do people do it, how do they keep going? How do they not just stumble and lose their way? I was wondering this because just weeks before, it was announced that another leader who had an impact had been participanting in an extramarital affair. He lost his job. She lost her job. This is not the first (nor I suspect the last) time I will receive this news.

A couple of years ago I was reading "Ascent of a Leader." In that book a surprising statistic was cited - 70% of leaders do NOT finish well. Somewhere along the way they get caught up in a sexual scandal, money scheme or some other public moral failure. Yikes! That really concerns me, especially as someone who wants to be faithful to the end. I mentioned this to K and he suggested I look at it a different way.

Oh yeah, what's that?

His response, "100% of people have a sin problem. So, 30% figured out a way to not give in to sin." I still wonder how to be one of the 30%, but I am just trying to take that day by day. I have a long road ahead of me...

Adam Hamilton gave an inspired message at the Summit. It was also one I needed to hear. His church had two well known pastors, with very public ministries, participating in an affair with each other. He had to deal with it and he decided to challenge the church to a life of integrity. You may be thinking they did this through a public shaming of the sinners, but that wasn't his message.

His message was that none of us are immune. As the church we should be caring for broken people, standing beside them...that is our calling.

I loved his message. I think too often we condemn (often publicly) and neglect to help the people involved rebuild their lives.

If you have messed up. If you know someone who has messed up. I pray you take Adam's advice and believe to the core of your being that no one is beyond redemption. God loves you more than you will ever understand and still has a wonderful plan for your life.

Sheri

Leadership Summit: Jim Collins

A few years back I read a book titled "Good to Great" by Jim Collins. I also heard him speak in that same year. My take away's from the book were simple.

The enemy of great is good. Why? Because we settle for good enough, and thus never attain greatness.

The most effective leaders have an intense will to succeed. No major epiphanies there. But, the organizations that succed have leaders with an intense will and a strong sense of humility. That's right, I said humility. Why does that matter? Because it's not about their personal success, but rather they are committed to a cause or ideal outside of themselves. Others get committed to that too, and together they succeed.

So, author Jim Collins spoke this year at the Leadership Summit. His topic was related to his new book, "How the Mighty Fall." The message I received this year was a powerful and timely one.

NEVER GIVE IN...never, ever, ever. Be willing to embrace loss, endure pain, but NEVER give up or doubt ability to prevail. NEVER give up on core values. Persevere, that is the key to progress.

I needed to hear that. Maybe you did too?

Sheri