In the culture I come from, gray hair is something to be ashamed of. We cover it up. We have advertisements with little jingles that say, "I am going to wash that gray right out of my hair."
Gray hair is not splendid, rather it is a tragedy.
In my culture, we long for the fountain of youth and would love if we can look 25 years old perpetually. That's why plastic surgeons make such a good living, because their work is valued in our culture. We will pay any price to fight aging.
The Bible says, "The glory of young men is their strength, gray hair the splendor of the old." (Proverbs 20:29)
I am a product of my culture. I can tell you that the day I found my first gray hair, I would not describe it as splendor. Now I have many more grays, to the point I am starting to debate the need for coloring my hair on a regular basis.
Cambodians are different. Those with gray hair are revered. The older are treated with honor. Because of this, gray hair isn't dreaded but welcomed. One of my colleagues (a female American) has decided she is going to stop covering her grays. Instead, she is going to follow the Cambodian way and embrace them.
I am still debating my choice.
Should I cover the gray hairs that have begun to appear on my head? I don't know that I have the energy for that, nor could I be bothered to maintain it. I am a low maintenance girl - the only make-up I wear is mascara and I don't blow dry my hair. I am not sure I am willing to add regular visits to the beauty shop as part of my routine, as it would have to be frequent because my hair grows quickly.
Should I embrace gray hair and consider it splendor? I am quite certain my psyche isn't ready for all that. I've had years of acculturation that tells me otherwise.
What are your thoughts?
Monday, February 22, 2010
Friday, February 19, 2010
100 years!
My great grandmother turns 100 years old this month. One hundred years! My family is throwing a party in her honor. It kills me that I can't be there.
I admire this woman. She has spunk. When she was 96 years old, her appendix burst. Just before taking her in to the operating room the doctor was giving the family fair warning, "this is serious and there are young people, much younger than her, that don't survive this." Obviously, she survived.
When she was coming out of anestethia the doctor asked how she was feeling. Her quick response was, "100% better, can I go home now?" Love her!
When she was in her 80's she rearended a car on the way to her step aerobics class. She left the scene of the accident and walked to step aerobics. When asked why she left the scene of the accidents, she said she didn't want to miss her class.
In her younger years I have memories of visits to her house, they always involved fresh, homemade tortillas. I tried to make tortillas twice in my life. I learned it is an acquired skill, and one I have not acquired.
In recent years she has been loosing her eyesight and dimensia has begun to set in. I visit her everytime I go to New Mexico. It is always a memorable experience.
I can't imagine how the world has changed in her 100 years. I can't imagine having that many days on earth. It is incredible to me.
Grandma Rodriguez, I wish I could be there to celebrate your birthday. It is times like this that I am terribly sad to be so far away.
I admire this woman. She has spunk. When she was 96 years old, her appendix burst. Just before taking her in to the operating room the doctor was giving the family fair warning, "this is serious and there are young people, much younger than her, that don't survive this." Obviously, she survived.
When she was coming out of anestethia the doctor asked how she was feeling. Her quick response was, "100% better, can I go home now?" Love her!
When she was in her 80's she rearended a car on the way to her step aerobics class. She left the scene of the accident and walked to step aerobics. When asked why she left the scene of the accidents, she said she didn't want to miss her class.
In her younger years I have memories of visits to her house, they always involved fresh, homemade tortillas. I tried to make tortillas twice in my life. I learned it is an acquired skill, and one I have not acquired.
In recent years she has been loosing her eyesight and dimensia has begun to set in. I visit her everytime I go to New Mexico. It is always a memorable experience.
I can't imagine how the world has changed in her 100 years. I can't imagine having that many days on earth. It is incredible to me.
Grandma Rodriguez, I wish I could be there to celebrate your birthday. It is times like this that I am terribly sad to be so far away.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
a good wife...
Last week I was visiting with one of our partner organizations who works in the poorest area of Phnom Penh. They do work with children who suffer with disabilities, they help those infected with and affected by HIV, they have women's programs, child nutrition programs, teen drug rehabilitation and income generation for child headed households. The most amazing part about all of this - it is almost entirely led by Khmer people, not foreigners. I love that!
Anyway, through the course of conversation I learned something interesting about Cambodia. I knew that domestic violence is prevalent. I knew many, many women are beaten by fathers and then husbands. One of the Khmer women said, "we are told that a good wife takes the beating." What?!
She continued speaking and said, "I am trying to change my culture. To encourage men to be good husbands and fathers." Hallelujah!
Were there things we were told in our culture that make a women a good wife, but are actually quite oppressive to her?
Anyway, through the course of conversation I learned something interesting about Cambodia. I knew that domestic violence is prevalent. I knew many, many women are beaten by fathers and then husbands. One of the Khmer women said, "we are told that a good wife takes the beating." What?!
She continued speaking and said, "I am trying to change my culture. To encourage men to be good husbands and fathers." Hallelujah!
Were there things we were told in our culture that make a women a good wife, but are actually quite oppressive to her?
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
accommodating
I have noticed something about Khmer culture that is interesting to me. The Khmer people are very accommodating of others - foreigners specifically.
On a recent drive out to a distant province I was with a Khmer taxi driver and one of our Khmer staff. It was time for dinner and they started discussing where to go - in Khmer. They decided to choose a restaurant for the barang. I was outnumbered and generally Khmer people don't like barang food (with the exception of pizza). Without my asking, they accommodated me.
When getting in a car, the seat of honor is the front passenger seat. Rather than rushing for it like any true-blue American would do, they quietly get in the back seat leaving the seat of honor for someone else - usually the foreigner.
Daily the Khmer staff wait patiently for me to figure out things that they know instinctually. They don't make me feel silly or stupid about it, they simply wait and only interject when asked. Us American's are always so eager to show off what we know.
I didn't ask for them to give me the place of honor, or think of my needs for edible food above their own, or to bestow dignity upon me in my times of struggle. They just do it. I can tell you it doesn't go unnoticed by me. Instead, it leaves me wondering how I can be more accommodating to others.
In America, we tend to treat foreigners in our land with suspicion (especially following 9/11). We expect them to bend their ways to our own. Offer accommodation? Ha! That isn't the American way. But, maybe it should be. Maybe we should be more welcoming to foriegners from a foreign land? Maybe we shouldn't expect everyone to act just like us? Maybe we should consider their basic needs and how we can meet them?
Isn't that what Jesus challenges us to do?
Matthew 25:35-40
For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.
Then the righteous will answer him, "Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?"
The King will reply, "I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."
Jesus challenges us to welcome the strangers in our land and to meet basic needs. Khmer people offer a great example of how to do this. I hope to take these lessons and incorporate them in to my life, wherever I may happen to live.
On a recent drive out to a distant province I was with a Khmer taxi driver and one of our Khmer staff. It was time for dinner and they started discussing where to go - in Khmer. They decided to choose a restaurant for the barang. I was outnumbered and generally Khmer people don't like barang food (with the exception of pizza). Without my asking, they accommodated me.
When getting in a car, the seat of honor is the front passenger seat. Rather than rushing for it like any true-blue American would do, they quietly get in the back seat leaving the seat of honor for someone else - usually the foreigner.
Daily the Khmer staff wait patiently for me to figure out things that they know instinctually. They don't make me feel silly or stupid about it, they simply wait and only interject when asked. Us American's are always so eager to show off what we know.
I didn't ask for them to give me the place of honor, or think of my needs for edible food above their own, or to bestow dignity upon me in my times of struggle. They just do it. I can tell you it doesn't go unnoticed by me. Instead, it leaves me wondering how I can be more accommodating to others.
In America, we tend to treat foreigners in our land with suspicion (especially following 9/11). We expect them to bend their ways to our own. Offer accommodation? Ha! That isn't the American way. But, maybe it should be. Maybe we should be more welcoming to foriegners from a foreign land? Maybe we shouldn't expect everyone to act just like us? Maybe we should consider their basic needs and how we can meet them?
Isn't that what Jesus challenges us to do?
Matthew 25:35-40
For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.
Then the righteous will answer him, "Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?"
The King will reply, "I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."
Jesus challenges us to welcome the strangers in our land and to meet basic needs. Khmer people offer a great example of how to do this. I hope to take these lessons and incorporate them in to my life, wherever I may happen to live.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
if you were hungry, would you steal food?
A while back I posed this question to staff teams in Africa - if you were hungry, would you steal food? Their answer surprised and inspired me.
Unanimously they said, "no." I can't say with such confidence and conviction that I wouldn't steal if I had a family to feed. I might steal. I am quite certain I would seriously consider stealing warm bread for my family. With conviction, those around me (who have seen more poverty than I could imagine) said, "no, stealing isn't the cure to hunger." So, what is? Faith, they said.
Faith? They proceeded to tell me miraculous stories of God's provision in times of trouble, stories about the generosity of strangers and the compassion of a loving God.
God says we shouldn't worry about these things, that He will provide what we need. (Matt 6:25-34) I struggle believing that day-to-day.
Last week I was meeting with a women's group in a community that has taken up residence in shacks surrounding the city dump. They make money by collecting trash and trading that in for pennies at the recycling center. I've seen people like this collecting items around town. I usually hand them my empty water bottle, or when I take my trash to the curb I place the items of interest to the side so they can be easily picked up rather than sift through my rubbish. One of the churches we work with in town has begun ministering to this community, with these women.
During our visit, without prompting, they started talking about how God has impacted their life. They told stories of what their life was like before knowing Christ and what it is like now. These were incredible stories of faith and God's provision. These stories were told with overwhelming gratitude. But why? Aren't they still poor living beside a trash dump and collecting what other people (like myself) discard in order to gain a measly wage? Yes. Again, I was surprised and inspired. These ladies are assured there is a God in heaven who cares for them.
I hope that if I were hungry, rather than steal food, I would be able to trust the living God to meet my daily needs. I hope I could have just a fraction of the faith of these people. I am not sure I could be so courageous.
What about you? If you were hungry, would you steal food?
Unanimously they said, "no." I can't say with such confidence and conviction that I wouldn't steal if I had a family to feed. I might steal. I am quite certain I would seriously consider stealing warm bread for my family. With conviction, those around me (who have seen more poverty than I could imagine) said, "no, stealing isn't the cure to hunger." So, what is? Faith, they said.
Faith? They proceeded to tell me miraculous stories of God's provision in times of trouble, stories about the generosity of strangers and the compassion of a loving God.
God says we shouldn't worry about these things, that He will provide what we need. (Matt 6:25-34) I struggle believing that day-to-day.
Last week I was meeting with a women's group in a community that has taken up residence in shacks surrounding the city dump. They make money by collecting trash and trading that in for pennies at the recycling center. I've seen people like this collecting items around town. I usually hand them my empty water bottle, or when I take my trash to the curb I place the items of interest to the side so they can be easily picked up rather than sift through my rubbish. One of the churches we work with in town has begun ministering to this community, with these women.
During our visit, without prompting, they started talking about how God has impacted their life. They told stories of what their life was like before knowing Christ and what it is like now. These were incredible stories of faith and God's provision. These stories were told with overwhelming gratitude. But why? Aren't they still poor living beside a trash dump and collecting what other people (like myself) discard in order to gain a measly wage? Yes. Again, I was surprised and inspired. These ladies are assured there is a God in heaven who cares for them.
I hope that if I were hungry, rather than steal food, I would be able to trust the living God to meet my daily needs. I hope I could have just a fraction of the faith of these people. I am not sure I could be so courageous.
What about you? If you were hungry, would you steal food?
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