Another organization I visited on the recent tour with the team is Daughters. This organization was created by a woman out of the UK to help ladies who want to leave sex work and are looking for other options. At Daughters the women are given skills training so they can earn a living through other means. We fund about 1/3 of their annual budget. This was my first visit to their location.
I see the brothels around town. I know many of the statistics - some of which stir up anger in me. The program director mentioned they are currently serving 64 women. With the exception of 2, these women were sold to the brothels by their parents. By their parents! For a few hundred dollars the parents sold their daughters so they could buy something like a motorbike or pay a gambling debt.
Parents are designed by God to provide protection to their children. Children are already vulnerable enough in the world. I do not understand what rationale would make selling one's child to the sex industry an acceptable option. The director mentioned that sometimes this happens to girls as young as 8 or 9 years old. My mind (and heart) does not know how to process such facts.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
I went to prison
Recently, we had a team of young people visit from Australia. I accompanied them to many activities, one of which was a visit to a low security prison to play b-ball with some of the guys and gals. Most of the inmates had entered as juveniles. The individuals I met were from Australia, the Philippines, Thailand - and the most surprising was Peru. She is a long way from home! The inmates were both male and female. All that I spoke with were affilited with the drug trade.
One thing that made a lasting impression on me was the children in prison. Last year I had written that in Bolivia children go to prison with their mothers. This is the first time I have seen such a thing. There is just something unnerving about seeing a small baby behind bars. I held a 4 month old, his mother is from Thailand and his father is Nigerian. To me, small children are the only truly innocent thing on earth. What happens when a child begins their life behind bars? How does that affect their outlook on the future? Is there another solution that is in the best interest of the child?
One thing that made a lasting impression on me was the children in prison. Last year I had written that in Bolivia children go to prison with their mothers. This is the first time I have seen such a thing. There is just something unnerving about seeing a small baby behind bars. I held a 4 month old, his mother is from Thailand and his father is Nigerian. To me, small children are the only truly innocent thing on earth. What happens when a child begins their life behind bars? How does that affect their outlook on the future? Is there another solution that is in the best interest of the child?
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
putting family first
I was recently riding around town with one of our female, Cambodian staff. Her name is Dalya. I really like this lady. She is smart, ambitious and an excellent worker. She is in her late 20's, married, has two boys and is currently working on her master's degree. I think she has a bright future.
I wanted to get a local perspective on the brothel business. It is impossible to drive around Phnom Penh and not see brothels in nearly every neighborhood. At night, they are even more noticeable as they are usually the only businesses open after 7:30pm. As a Cambodian woman, what does she think about all the brothels? Her answer has stuck with me.
D: None of the wives like brothels. When men start visiting those places, they stop thinking about their families.
Insightful. When visiting a brothel, men are spending money that should be going to their families at the brothels. Men are spending time that should be with their families at the brothel. The one thing no one knows how to successfully do is curb the demand. Traffickers would move on to other businesses if this one weren't so lucrative. Every major religion (Christianity, Islam and Buddhism) teaches fidelity as a key tenant to righteous living. I think one way to help stop human trafficking is to encourage marital fidelity and upholding marriage vows of remaining faithful to one spouse.
In this part of the world, most men have their first sexual experience in a brothel. Despite the attention given to sex tourism, local demand is really what keeps these businesses alive. A recent study showed that 70% of those who visit brothels are local and often government officials who should be uphold laws outlawing such behavior.
How do we create a culture where manhood is defined by virtues like being a good husband and father, rather than by sexual conquest?
I wanted to get a local perspective on the brothel business. It is impossible to drive around Phnom Penh and not see brothels in nearly every neighborhood. At night, they are even more noticeable as they are usually the only businesses open after 7:30pm. As a Cambodian woman, what does she think about all the brothels? Her answer has stuck with me.
D: None of the wives like brothels. When men start visiting those places, they stop thinking about their families.
Insightful. When visiting a brothel, men are spending money that should be going to their families at the brothels. Men are spending time that should be with their families at the brothel. The one thing no one knows how to successfully do is curb the demand. Traffickers would move on to other businesses if this one weren't so lucrative. Every major religion (Christianity, Islam and Buddhism) teaches fidelity as a key tenant to righteous living. I think one way to help stop human trafficking is to encourage marital fidelity and upholding marriage vows of remaining faithful to one spouse.
In this part of the world, most men have their first sexual experience in a brothel. Despite the attention given to sex tourism, local demand is really what keeps these businesses alive. A recent study showed that 70% of those who visit brothels are local and often government officials who should be uphold laws outlawing such behavior.
How do we create a culture where manhood is defined by virtues like being a good husband and father, rather than by sexual conquest?
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
cha-cha-cha
My schedule in recent years has taken a toll on my health. It started during my PhD program when the work load seemed unattainable and the schedule difficult. I became very sedentary, sitting on the couch reading all the time. As a result, I put on weight.
Then I took a job where I traveled over 50% of the time. I spent most of my life in airplanes going place to place, jumping continents and time zones. It sounds glamorous, but it really takes a toll on your health. I had no routines - sleeping, eating, or exercise. I wasn't obese, but I definitely wasn't in good health. I could tell, in my body, that something had to change.
I started making time for regular exercise just before we moved overseas. When I told Kenyon I was going to join a gym and begin exercising regularly, for my mental health as well as my physical health, his immediate response was, "don't get skinny." How many wives get that response from their husbands?!
Lesley and I have tried exercise videos and multiple gyms. We settled on a local one (no foreigners but us) near our house. We stop by on our way home a few times a week. Recently, there was an aerobics class that we joined. It isn't anything like a US aerobics class, but it is fun and burns some calories. There is one strange phenomena at the end of aerobics in gyms here - no matter where we've been they end the class with the cha-cha. This doesn't happen during Khmer aerobics outside, but it has happened at more than one location at gym facilities. I was telling Kenyon about it the other night and he said, "can Cambodian's cha-cha?"
S: Not really. They don't move their hips at all. It is mostly like stomping their feet, with robot arms.
They may not have the latin moves, but they love it. People will come from all over the gym and the room gets packed during the cha-cha. It happens every time.
When I used to visit Africa, they would have salsa dancing nights and the African restaurant here has continued the tradition.
It is interesting to see that my culture is exporting something to other cultures - Latin dance. It is popular around the globe!
Then I took a job where I traveled over 50% of the time. I spent most of my life in airplanes going place to place, jumping continents and time zones. It sounds glamorous, but it really takes a toll on your health. I had no routines - sleeping, eating, or exercise. I wasn't obese, but I definitely wasn't in good health. I could tell, in my body, that something had to change.
I started making time for regular exercise just before we moved overseas. When I told Kenyon I was going to join a gym and begin exercising regularly, for my mental health as well as my physical health, his immediate response was, "don't get skinny." How many wives get that response from their husbands?!
Lesley and I have tried exercise videos and multiple gyms. We settled on a local one (no foreigners but us) near our house. We stop by on our way home a few times a week. Recently, there was an aerobics class that we joined. It isn't anything like a US aerobics class, but it is fun and burns some calories. There is one strange phenomena at the end of aerobics in gyms here - no matter where we've been they end the class with the cha-cha. This doesn't happen during Khmer aerobics outside, but it has happened at more than one location at gym facilities. I was telling Kenyon about it the other night and he said, "can Cambodian's cha-cha?"
S: Not really. They don't move their hips at all. It is mostly like stomping their feet, with robot arms.
They may not have the latin moves, but they love it. People will come from all over the gym and the room gets packed during the cha-cha. It happens every time.
When I used to visit Africa, they would have salsa dancing nights and the African restaurant here has continued the tradition.
It is interesting to see that my culture is exporting something to other cultures - Latin dance. It is popular around the globe!
Monday, January 18, 2010
oven mits
I've mentioned before that ovens are unusual in Cambodia. When I meet people around town, one of the first things they ask about our place is, "do you have an oven?" We are lucky enough to have an oven. With our baking items I packed one of our oven mits - it was already well used, but I wasn't sure I could find one overseas and didn't think it was worth adding to the list of things to buy. So, in the box it went as is.Our oven mit arrived here and I realized how worn it was. Disgusting really, but finding an oven mit replacement was impossible. Then I went to Bangkok with Lesley. There was a home store with bath mats that aren't made out of used scraps of fabric, the kind I was used to in America that are colorful and plush. There were decorative items like pillows and candles. It was in this store that I found an oven mit. I was so excited I asked Lesley to pose for a picture with my treasure.
It's crazy the things we took for granted at home and how accessible everything was to us. I just never realized until it wasn't available anymore. Convenience and accessibility are a privelege of the developed world. If you are lucky enough to have it, appreciate it.
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