school days, school days...

School is back in session. I arrived on Friday from India and started my second semester of my PhD on Monday. I had terrible jet-lag and a head cold. A great way to kick-off the start of the semester! I would read for school and the words just floated randomly in my head, not connected to any thought or concept. In one class last week the professor asked about common themes among the articles - I was having trouble even remembering what the articles I had read were about, much less pull out themes! I am still exhausted and not feeling 100%, but I can at least read and comprehend what I'm reading this week. Progress! This weekend I officially converted my dining room into an office. I had to get real. Was I ever going to have a dinner party? No, I don't cook. I don't have time. I hardly have a social life as it is, and if I'm going to see friends it will likely be someplace other than my condo. Did I need a central location for all my textbooks, computer stuff, school and work projects, etc? Yes. I'd been using the coffee table in my living room and decided I was sick of the clutter and wanted a place to just chill when I wasn't studying.

Though it is only the second week, there is already more to do than I possibly have time to complete. I'm am trying to temper my ambition. I tell myself, it's okay if I don't get it all done. It's okay if I get a passing grade - does it really need to be A+++, or at satisfy my perfectionist tendencies? The answer is, "no." I'll earn the degree with less than perfect. I just don't want to break my record of nothing less than an "A" in grad school (including my Master's degree). I have to let that go to maintain sanity, I know this, it is just hard to do. This semester is going to be a struggle, attempting to balance my school work (which could easily consume my entire life), my work in India (which could easily consume my entire life), and still finding time for important relationships (poor Kenyon!). If you are ever wondering what I'm doing these days, it would be a pretty safe guess to say I'm studying.

Calgon, take me away...

My favorite place on earth

I decided on this recent trip to India that Light of Love Children's home is my favorite place on earth. I love the people. I love the climate. It is said that Disneyland is the happiest place on earth, but its not - the happiest place is with the children in Tuni.

On this trip I taught the 400+ children to say "I love you" in American sign language. It was overwhelming to receive that message in return. It was great to walk to the campus and be able to tell children up close or from a distance, "I love you." On my first trip a few years ago the children were uncomfortable receiving hugs, now hugs and kisses are the norm and we have progressed to saying these precious words.

I am part of a very large family in India. To some I am "sister," to some I am "mommy," to all I am "friend." What an amazing gift to be part of such a large and loving family!

Baby Steps

Did you ever see the movie "What about Bob?" It is a classic comedy that I could watch over and over and over again - and continue to laugh every time. The movie features Bill Murray - a psychological patient - and Richard Dreyfuss - a psychologist, Dr. Leo Marvin. In the movie Dr. Marvin rights a book titled, "Baby Steps." It's about overcoming problems one small step at a time. My family often borrowed this saying, "baby steps to the car...," "baby steps to the school...," "baby steps to the refrigerator..." I like the idea, anyone can reach their goals by beginning with small steps.

I just returned from another life-changing adventure in India. We have a big dream to start a second orphanage, a trade school and a bible college. It will require more money than any of us possess, more time than we imagine, and more skill than we currently have. It is a big dream! I was thinking on the airplane home about my involvement in India and how it has progressed. Had some one shown me this dream three years ago when the work began, it would have been daunting. If someone had shown me the work we have already accomplished, it would have been unbelievable. How did we get where we are today? Baby steps! Though the next phase of the dream is large, I can break it down in to tangible bits and take it piece by piece - baby steps to creating a master plan for the new site, baby steps to estabilishing a child sponsorship program. Bit by bit, the dream will become reality. When I arrived home I had hundreds of emails to greet me (285 in one inbox!). I wanted to share a portion of one of the emails because it helped strengthen my resolve, that with God we can accomplish the seemingly impossible. We just have to take baby steps toward our goals.

The Daffodil Principle
...Before me lay the most glorious sight. It looked as though someone had taken a great vat of gold and poured it over the mountain peak and its surrounding slopes. The flowers were planted in majestic, swirling patterns, great ribbons and swaths of deep orange, creamy white, lemon yellow, salmon pink, and saffron and butter yellow. Each different-colored variety was planted in large groups so that it swirled and flowed like its own river with its own unique hue. There were five acres of flowers.

"Who did this?" I asked Carolyn. "Just one woman," Carolyn answered. "She lives on the property. That's her home." Carolyn pointed to a well-kept A-frame house, small and modestly sitting in the midst of all that glory. We walked up to the house.

On the patio, we saw a poster. "Answers to the Questions I Know You Are Asking", was the headline. The first answer was a simple one. "50,000 bulbs," it read. The second answer was, "One at a time, by one woman. Two hands, two feet, and one brain." The third answer was, "Began in 1958."

For me, that moment was a life-changing experience. I thought of this woman whom I had never met, who, more than forty years before, had begun, one bulb at a time, to bring her vision of beauty and joy to an obscure mountaintop. Planting one bulb at a time, year after year, this unknown woman had forever changed the world in which she lived. One day at a time, she had created something of extraordinary magnificence, beauty, and inspiration. The principle her daffodil garden taught is one of the greatest principles of celebration.

That is, learning to move toward our goals and desires one step at a time--often just one baby-step at time--and learning to love the doing, learning to use the accumulation of time. When we multiply tiny pieces of time with small increments of daily effort, we too will find we can accomplish magnificent things. We can change the world ...

I will take baby steps to reach my goal and impact the world.

I'm an olympiad...

Not the kind of athlete you see on television that actually has talent and abilities. Rather, I participated in the KU Student Success Olympics. One of my part-time jobs is with the University Career Center, which is a division of Student Success. I've worked at KU in some capacity for six years and didn't know I was missing out on such an amazing athletic competition. My events were mystery golf and checkers. I lost both, but I was in good company. One person on my team got a gold in jacks (yeah, that game you played as a kid with a bouncy ball), another got a silver in bingo, and one got a bronze in hearts (the card game). There were free throw, walleyball, air hockey, and bowling competitions to name a few. The Olympics continue this week, but I won't be able to participate because I'm getting on an airplane to fly to India. I know, its a touch life I lead. Smile!

I will post again when I return from India. Please be praying for our well being and that we will be effective in our work.

One year anniversary

Can you believe I've had this blog for a year? I can't. Sometimes it still amazes me that anyone reads it, but I know some people do because they say things when I see them like, "I read on your blog..." or "why haven't you posted on your blog lately?" My blog has been a great way to let family and friends know about the major events of my life - the only bad part is, I don't get to hear all the stories from their lives. Maybe some will start their own blog this year?

New Year's has come and gone. It is unbelievable to me that it is January 2007! Where does the time go?! Kenyon and I celebrated the New Year at my traditional location - the home of my friends Priya and Magesh. This is a group of friends from all over the world - Malaysia, India, Lebanon and Egypt. In years past I was the token American. This year Kenyon was with me representing the USA. I can tell you that English was NOT the primary language spoken that evening. We had a lot of fun eating good food, celebrating with friends, and playing games. One game in particular was to write three new year's resolutions on a note card, names included. Then the resolutions were read aloud and we had to guess who wrote it. I've known this group of friends for years and we get together as a group two-three times per year. The game was hilarious and a great way to learn more about each other. The hosts of the annual New Years party are going to keep the written resolutions and we will review them at the next party. Uh-oh!

I generally don't make New Year's resolutions, rather I have a theme or motto for the year. Two years ago the motto was "make new memories" - that was the year following my divorce and the start of my new life as a single woman. I accomplished that goal through travel and valuable time with family and friends. Last year my motto was "live loud" - the intent was to pursue unrealized dreams and the purpose I feel God calling me to. I accomplished this by applying to and beginning a PhD program, purchasing a home (condo) of my own, and expanding my efforts in India. This year is dedicated to "creating a new normal" - essentially it is about contentment and joy. The kids in India have shown me what joy looks like - true joy is not based on circumstances or the wealth of our possessions, but rather it is something that spills over from the inside. I have experienced two years of radical change personally, socially and professionally. 2007 - the year of creating a new normal - is about establishing that joy in my life and finding contentment in my present circumstance.

Though I have a lot of fun things planned, this is not going to be a fun year. My finances and schedule are severely limited due to my return to school. I am ready to be done with school but still have four semesters and a dissertation remaining. The entire year will be spent in grueling study. (I'm sure you can sense the excitement.) In recent months I have seen good friends move away and still feel their absence daily. The India projects are working toward a future goal, laying ground work, with few pay-offs in the present. I tend to want instant results and push my way toward the finish line, this year is going to be focused on the journey. I need to focus on the present and learn what I need to at this point in the journey. I will get where I'm going...eventually. This may seem like a downer, but it is actually character building and a necessary step to fulfilling my long-term dreams and just so you don't think my year will be all work and no play I will list some of the planned events for 2007:

• In January, I will travel with a team of thirteen to India. We will dedicate 22 water projects, play with kids at three orphanages and conduct a youth conference for approximately 1,ooo youth.
• In April, I will present at my first conference on the topic of racial representation in nonprofit boards.
• In May, my dad Bob and I will travel to China to visit my good friend Fiona. This will be a first visit to China for both of us. We plan to see the Great Wall, Tienanmen Square and the Terracotta warriors on this visit.
• I am applying for a (very competitive) internship in Washington D.C. for the summer months. If accepted, I will live with my good friend Angela (who recently moved there) and her family for those months.
• In August, I will marry Kenyon in an unforgettable India celebration. With at least one reception following in the USA.
• I will go on a cruise at some point in the year with family to visit my brother and his wife who are currently dancing for Carnival Cruise Lines.

The year of "creating a new normal" - not a sexy motto, but a necessary next step in the journey. So, what is your new year's resolution?