Puzzle Pieces

I've been working on a puzzle called the "unknown," it's not a real puzzle with a set number of pieces and a box that tells me what the end result will look like. Rather it is baby steps of faith, walking forward and not knowing where I'm going or what tomorrow might look like. Yesterday, some of those puzzle pieces came together. It's really nice when that happens.

I had a meeting with a Social Work professor at KU named Ronna. I will be working with her for the next year on a grant project. The only thing I'd been told prior to yesterday is that I'd be working on "the COPC grant." What's COPC? I didn't know. Would I like it? It really didn't matter. I'd do what I was asked to because they are paying my tuition, fees and providing a monthly stipend. In my mind it was a job and I would do the job. God provided more than a job. He provided so much more! COPC stands for Community Outreach Partnership Center. The purpose is to establish a center that works toward reducing poverty in Kansas City, KS. The original funding supported three projects; 1) low income housing with low interest loans and wealth building through a matching savings account, 2) helping at risk youth in a local high school finish school and pursue further educational opportunities, 3) encouraging civic engagement in minority populations, particularly Hispanic and Black. WOW! These are all things I am passionate about. My role in all of this will be as the business manager. Ronna asked me to establish the center. It will be my job to recruit an advisory board, work out the details of the fundraising efforts, establish independent non-profit status, increase faculty involvement and find us a location/offices. Some of you may be thinking you have no interest in these matters, but for me it was a custom designed opportunity. I LOVE it! I am made for projects like this. I don't deal well in the details. I'm a big picture, entrepreneurial kind of gal. I like a challenge, and she has certainly issued me a challenge. I thought I'd be passing the time for the next year or be someone's gopher to fulfill my GRA responsibilities, instead I will be developing skills, impacting lives, and if we do a good job there will be a center left in our wake that will continue the work. What a nice surprise!

As if that weren't enough, there was a second puzzle piece handed to me yesterday. I'm leaving my job. I gave them at least four months notice so they could hire my replacement. It has been a frustrating process. I leave in less than two weeks and they still didn't have someone. Because I was interested in getting someone good as my replacement, I went recruiting. My top choice was selected unanimously by the search committee. Yesterday, they extended an offer t0 her and she quickly accepted. We can't make a formal announcement until HR approves the deal, but she will shadow me today for New Student Orientation. I will also begin the memory dump - handing off information to her with the expectation they will approve her application.

It was a good day. I was given a clearer picture of where I'm going, and the void I'm leaving behind is being filled by someone I trust and respect. I feel free to move on, further in to the unknown.

Busy Weekend

I packed a lot in to one weekend...it's summer time so there is lots to do. Friday night I went with some girlfriends to Free Friday Night Flicks downtown. The show was the American classic "To Kill a Mockingbird." One of my all time favorite books and the first time I saw the movie. It was fun to see it on the BIG screen. They even had the author in attendance giving autographs (of course, I didn't know that in advance - I would have liked her to sign my copy of the book). I learned something - Haper Lee is young. She's probably in her fourties, maybe her fifties. What's amazing is the movie was made in the 50's, so the book was written before that! If you did the math, she was a teenager when she wrote the book. What I learned is, it was the only book she ever wrote, her one and only. I find that intriguing. Why did she never write another book? It's a mystery to me...

Kenyon and I helped a friend move in the morning. In the evening I had planned a surpise birthday celebration for him. Tuesday is his 29th birthday - yes, I'm older than he is, I admit it...I am dating a younger man. Yeah for me! Smile! We went to a comedy show. Kansas City has a great improv company. The show is kind of like "Who's line is it anyway?" - only it's live and absolutely hilarious! He had no idea where we were going, but he really enjoyed it.

Sunday I met the family. Yikes! Kenyon does not know who his father is, his mother died when he was young, he and his brothers spent some time in foster care and then his grandfather adopted them. His gradfather is dead. His family is not a biological family, but a pastor and his wife who are the adopted parents of his good friend Jose. Jose was adopted by this couple from Brazil. We attended their church in Missouri and then had lunch. It was nice to meet people who matter to him and who know him well. Surprisingly, I wasn't nervous or uncomfortable. That's a first.

I returned to work today - 10 days left and counting. Today was the launch of Pathways 2006. Pathways is a leadership development program for at risk youth. It is a partnership between the school district, local community college and KU. The kids are in 7th and 8th grade and are considered "at risk," but with potential. I was one of the speakers today. It even made the news. My 15 minutes of fame.

It's probably hard to believe, but there are lots of things I said "no" to over the last three days. No rest for the weary...

A word on change...

I don't mean the kind of change that jingles in your pocket, no, I mean life altering change. Change that rocks your world, moves your comfort zone, and makes you want to curl up in the fetal position and suck your thumb. I always thought I was good with change. In business, I like change. I don't want to stay in one place too long. I want to be cutting edge and a leader. I've learned recently that in my personal life I like stability and comfort. My personal life is changing. Some of it by choices I've made, some of it totally out of my control. It has caused me to reevaluate my opinion of change and have empathy for those who are not as comfortable with corporate change as I am. Below are some interesting quotes on change:

"Change is hard because people overestimate the value of what they have—and underestimate the value of what they may gain by giving that up."
— James Belasco and Ralph Stayer, Flight of the Buffalo (1994)

"Change has a bad reputation in our society. But it isn't all bad — not by any means. In fact, change is necessary in life — to keep us moving ... to keep us growing ... to keep us interested . ... Imagine life without change. It would be static ... boring ... dull."
— Dr. Dennis O'Grady in Bottom Line - Personal

"Change is the law of life and those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future."
—John F. Kennedy

Common theme? Change can be a good thing - though painful at times.

What changes am I experiencing? Lots and lots of life-altering change. I am in the midst of a career change. I will go from full-time working professional in a job I really enjoy, to the unknown status of full-time student. I will change jobs. I'll be working on a grant for the department to earn my financial aid, as well as have a part-time employer to make ends meet. As a result, I have been downsizing my life for approximately 8 months; new home, new car, new budget. My friends are moving. I often referred to a close group of friends as the three W's - Whincop's, Warren's and William's families. The Williams family have gone to Virginia near Washington D.C. Since they've gone I no longer have Tuesday night family night. The Warren's are building a home in North Kansas City. It is a longer drive and a part of the city I rarely visit. I am helping them move in to an apartment this weekend. I currently work with Elaine, the change in job and the move will likely mean we will see less of each other. In approximately two weeks the Whincop family will reside in China. They have a contract on their house and have made all the arrangements to relocate. I already feel the loss of their friendship. I don't like any of these changes. If I had a magic wand, life would have remained the same. But, I don't have a magic wand or a jeannie in a bottle. Rather, I have to learn to adjust. Yuck! I have to believe the hope found in the above quotes; maybe, just maybe, change can make room for new possibilities, growth, and a brighter future. Maybe?

Return from India

I had another amazing journey to India. We hosted a conference for over 700 pastors/social workers. We dedicated two well sites, one was in a tsunami village. We visited two potential locations for a new project; a second orphanage. We spent valuable time with the children. The litte girl in this photo is Yemi. She was newly admitted to Light of Love children's home. She was dropped off by a distant relative who could not care for her. I have no idea where her parents are. She probably doesn't know either. She suffers from severe malnutrition and neglect. South Asia is home to 46% of underweight children in the world(including India, Bangladesh and Pakistan), proportionally that is a gigantic percentage since their overall population isn't that large. To me, Yemi is the face that represents this tradgedy with her protruding bones and hollow cheeks. I have made a commitment to help Premdas and his family broaden their efforts and further their reach. I am committed to seeing the new project become a reality. I have vowed to begin a fundraising effort which I expect will be a year long commitment (potentially longer). I am convinced the work in India is part of why I was put on this earth. I am willing to be diligent in the task ahead of me. God will have to do the rest. I don't have $150,000. He will have to provide. Others will have to give generously. This is a HUGE step of faith for me. I decided on this trip, whatever the cost, whatever the risk, whatever the challenge; I will be faithful to my calling. I know it won't be easy. I know my safety is not guaranteed. I know there will be times I'll want to quit or would rather be doing something else. I vow to keep my eye on the prize and the end goal in mind. It is faces like Yemi's that compel me to keep going. I may not change the world, but if this child has a better future it was absolutely worth the effort.

When I returned home Kenyon had cleaned my entire place; vacuum, laundry, bathroom. He also stocked my fridge and pantry with food. I guess he decided I needed some help on the domestic front after the previous experience in my kitchen. Smile! Actually, it was an amazingly generous and thoughtful gesture. He cooked a wonderful dinner the Sunday night when I returned. It was nice to be home. I spent this week enjoying the food he purchased. Of course, if it required cooking it is still where he left it. I did enjoy pop tarts, Eggo waffles, fresh fruit, frozen dinners and cereal. He promised to cook dinner again this weekend. So I will get a homecooked meal at least once a week. Awesome!

I think I'm in love

I don't think I've ever been in love before (sad, but true); but, if love makes you feel like you can leap tall buildings in a single bound, if you think about the person all the time, if you want to spend EVERY minute of your day with them, if you enjoy time with them even if you are doing nothing in particular, if you long to see them when you are apart, if you can't imagine what life was like before they arrived - if that is what love is like then I am definitely in love. I've only known Kenyon for a short time (a matter of weeks), but I love him. He is an amazing man. Yesterday he decided to cook dinner for me. The condition of my kitchen is embarrassing. I have two pans; a sauce pan and an omelet pan. I have no food - frozen dinners and E-Z Mac, yes...anything of substance, nope. I did have four month old milk in the fridge (I can't believe I just admitted that to the world. Disgusting!). He took an inventory of what I had then made dinner for us. After dinner he cleaned the dishes and the kitchen. He also proceeded to fix my food disposal. It hasn't worked for a couple weeks but I hadn't done anything about it. He can cook and is handy?! I think I'm going to hang on to this one. I leave to India on Friday. I'm looking forward to the trip and seeing the children at Light of Love, but I am going to miss him terribly. He is going to pick me up from the airport when I return - I can hardly wait to see him again and I haven't even left yet. I feel like a giddy teenager and I'm nearly 30, what's up with that?! New to me.