The Windy City

I just returned from a girl's weekend in Chicago - the windy city (there is a reason for that nickname - the wind never stops blowing and it is cold coming off Michigan Lake. Brrr!) Last summer my good friend Camille moved there, I've been trying to visit her ever since. A year later I finally made it...better late than never. My good friend Elaine accompanied me. Camille and Elaine have been friends for 20 years. Amazing isn't it? I came into the picture nearly seven years ago. It's great to have friends with that kind of staying power. We had a great time and packed a lot in to a short weekend. We visited the new Freedom Museum; it brings the Constitution, Bill of Rights and Declaration of Independence to life in an interactive way. We went to the Sear's Tower Sky Deck - a must see in Chicago! We visited Merchandise Mart, millennium Park, and other tourist spots. We did a theatre walking tour. Ate lots and lots of good food. Celebrated Cinco de Mayo. Visited a photo and pottery exhibit. The highlight of the trip for me was the one show we went to see - Floss! Ever heard of it? It was advertised as a musical dance satire - whatever that means? I saw the show and still don't understand. I'd heard it was funny. The premise is a tribe trapped on an island off the coast of Australia, the island is sinking and they need to find a new home. The word "floss" stands for individual calling or purpose. The villagers discover their "floss" along the way. It wasn't high quality theatre, but I found it thoroughly entertaining. Elaine described it as "interesting," I told her that's what people say when they are trying to be polite and actually don't like something. She later revised it to be "interesting fun." I had a great time. I laughed, and laughed, and laughed some more. Me and the lady sitting next to me (a stranger previously) were the loudest in the crowd (difficult to imagine I'm sure). This was her second time seeing it. At the end of the show, the actors described us as "a lively crowd." I think it was mostly the two of us making the noise. This was my third trip to Chicago. There are still things on my list to do and see, it is a great city to visit in the summer - the winters are brutal...remember the frigid wind?

Job Decision

I spoke with the founder of the organization last week, he told me they were leaning toward the other candidate. It has been a great debate, but she has eight years experience with the organization and has gone on international trips with them in the past. To me, it seems like a no-brainer. I'd hire her over the unknown candidate who will also be pursuing their PhD. Duh! I was actually relieved. I will likely coordinate a trip to India for the organization in 2007. They contacted me again today to say they might want to continue negotiations, but I'm done. I'm moving on, and plan to be a student for the next three years.

I am looking forward to being a student and am convinced it's the right time for me to return to school. I have a generous financial aid package - tuition and fees paid, plus a monthly stipend - no family obligations, I'm young enough to benefit from the educational investment, and they are giving me 30 credit hours toward a 75 credit hour PhD for my MPA. If I'm ever going to earn the PhD, the time is now.

My new criteria for the job search is as follows:

• something I will not take home with me or grow to a ridiculous responsibility (can you believe I actually want something with limited responsibility and no opportunity for advancement? That is so unlike me!)
• a job that offers some kind of perk - membership, study time, mileage, things of that nature
• enough compensation to make ends meet, with no more than 20 hours per week

I am applying to be a leasing consultant with the apartment complex I used to live in. The position meets all of my criteria. I would be able to use the gym facilities (no payment on a gym membership), I get an above minimum wage salary plus commission, study time during the lulls, and a great work environment because I like the people I'll be working with. I'll probably start the position in June and will have the two jobs overlap for a little while so I can build a small nest egg for the coming years of financial famine.

Aren't you glad there has been a decision made - I bet the suspense was killing you.

Youth Friend

I volunteer as a mentor every Tuesday morning with five kids from an inner-city middle school. I've been doing this for most of the school year. They are in 6th and 7th grade. There are two boys and three girls in the group. These kids come from difficult circumstances, for instance the twin girl's mother is Cambodian and their father is black. Their father was murdered a few years back, they have three brothers and sisters. So they are living with an immigrant mother who has some language challenges since English was not her first language, and a single mother of five trying to survive. Unbelievable! Some of the stories they tell me are impossible to relate to - I did not have these experiences in my childhood. One day one of the boys said his uncle was coming in to town. Turns out he's coming from prison. Not an event that is in the realm of my experience, I wasn't sure how to respond to that - why was your uncle in prison seemed inappropriate? I was blank on a follow-up question.

As if the circumstances of their lives were not enough, the school district fails them. Even as 7th graders they have trouble reading at a basic level. Kansas City Missouri's schools have been struggling to earn accredidation for the entire time I've lived here - nearly eight years. Recently it was announced by the school district the kids school will be shut down. This group of kids is going to three different schools. I won't be able to meet with them at three schools, I had to tell them last week. It was sad. In the time I've been meeting with them, according to the teachers, they have improved in their classes and behavior. I am going to miss my kids!

I pray they are able to pull out of the cycle of poverty. I pray they do not end up young parents, in gangs, or jail. There is only so much influence I can have meeting with them once a week. I fear one of the girl's is well on her way to a young pregnancy. One of the boys has anger issues, and I fear he is on the path to violence and possibly prison. There is one girl at their school who's mom is a prostitute, this little girl dresses herself and gets herself to school everyday. If I were a married person, I would probably adopt a dozen kids - some from here and some from India. My heart goes out to them. I want to do something to improve their lives. The best I've come up with is to love them, expose them to options/opportunities/alternatives, encourage them, and simply be present in the moments I have with them.

In spite of the no child left behind policies, these children are being left behind.

Is an email and phone call enough?

I have a decision to make - it seems like decisionmaking is all I've been doing lately, making decision after decision. Last week I got a phone call from someone who knows my missing person. They had sent an email to her email address and received a response back. I called the detective and she said she spoke with my missing person on the phone. A part of me wants to be relieved, she's okay! But the pieces don't add up. The email said she is still living in this man's home. If that is true, why did he tell three people (including the police) she wasn't living there? Can anyone really know by an email or phone conversation? Are they really talking to the woman? Is she okay? I don't want to be overdramatic, but I want someone to lay eyes on her and tell me she is okay. I, of course, don't have a picture. This poses a challenge because without a photo how would the detective know for certain? The question is what to do next? Should I pursue it further? A woman may still be in danger and he may succeed in further isolating her. The answer is still unknown.

Resignation

Last week I resigned my position. My last day will be early August - yeah, I know, that's something like four months notice, but I thought they might as well know and start making plans for my replacement.

What am I going to do next? I have no idea! Surprisingly, I'm okay with that. I am A+++ personality type. Generally I need to know what I'm doing tomorrow, 3 months from now, and 5 years from now. I have a plan, and I execute the plan. Not now. I do, however, have a very vague plan - I'm going to start school in August. What I don't know is how I'm going to pay my bills. Where will I be working? What will I be doing? How much time will I have? How much will I be commuting? All unknown. I can't think of another time in my life when I knew so little about my next steps, but was still content in the waiting. Maybe my faith is growing? That is the only thing I can attribute it to - trust in God, that He knows what tomorrow will look like and will guide me.

I will be selling my jeep. Very sad! I just can't afford the gas prices driving back and forth to Lawrence for classes. I'm in the market for something economical.

The update on the job prospect is that I had two interviews with the organization this week. I'm ready for a decision to be made - whatever the decision is. I could take the job and enjoy the challenge and the experience; I could walk away and take a student job, focus on school, and enjoy the experience. I'll keep you posted.