memories are the BEST gifts

The Hubs and I spent this Christmas in Oklahoma City with my brother, sister-in-law, and adopted dad. I figure the last time we had Christmas together was somewhere around the turn of the century.

 

One of my great joys in being a recovering expat is that I have been able to spend more time with these precious people. In recent years we have met up in South Carolina, Colorado, New Mexico and Florida. We took a Carribbean cruise. They have come to visit us in Virginia and we celebrated milestones.

 

This year they gave me an excellent Christmas gift. What's that? The gift of shared memories. My literal gift was a ticket to a Thunder game (Yes, Oklahoma City has an NBA team). But, we shared meals and laughs. We had dance parties until the wee hours of the morning. We came up with creative ways to cook meals, as the kitchen in their new home is under construction. We made memories...together. To me, those moments are priceless and make up a meaningful life.

Sure, there are many times I still long for the former days when I globe trotted with a purpose. However, that life comes with incredible sacrifice - one of those sacrifices was time spent away from loved ones.

I consider moments spent with these people a gift. And, while I am already missing them greatly as I am on the east coast and they are in the mid-west of the United States, I cherish our times together.

Wishing each of you a holiday season full of wonderful memories with loved ones.

just Sheri, making new memories

Fall Activities

Obviously I am a bit behind in updating the blog, but life hasn't slowed down. Here are some of the highlights from the fall season.

I took a road trip with these lovely ladies to Colonial Williamsburg.

It was Ms. Josephine in white that opened my eyes to the ways Americans lock themselves in their homes creating a voluntary prison.

At a dinner party I was reminded how our palletes are influenced by what we are exposed to...this young man was dunking sushi in soy sauce the way most kids dunk chicken nuggets in ketchup.

Kenyon and I spent some time exploring the District. We went to a Smithsonian museum known as "the castle." I am sure you can see why from the picture.

We also made a stop at the botanic garden. Which is where I learned about carnivorous plants.

The botanic garden is across the street from the capital building. I took a picture because it was looking particularly regal that day. Each time I see the capital building, I still feel like I am having a celebrity sighting. I want to say, "Hey look, there's the capital!"

My dear friend Phim took me to the fish market at the wharf. I felt like I had been transported back to Psar Toul Tom Poun in Phnom Pen, Cambodia.

Every year I set aside time to participate in the Global Leadership Summitt. This year the destination was Kansas City. I had the privilege of participating in the annual event with one of my sister friends. This was a photo from dinner with ladies who encourage and inspire me.

While Kenyon was between jobs, we took some time to date (again). This photo is from a double date with Joyce and Victor at the National Harbor.

Another date was an inaugural visit to the county fair. We saw lots of curiosities - a fuzzy chicken, acrobats, and this...fried Kool-Aid. We didn't order any, but I do wonder what that is all about. Can anyone explain this to me?

I also took a trip with my adopted dad to a warmer climate.

These are just a few of the fall activities that occupied my time, and the people who make life enjoyable.

just Sheri, blessed with wonderful memories and relationships

culture shock: voluntary prison

I went on a road trip recently with a couple of ladies from Africa. One is visiting for a few months since her daughter just had a third child. I asked how her visit has been, this led to an interesting conversation about American cultural norms.

In America, we exit the car in our driveway and immediately head inside our home, rarely greeting our neighbors. Once inside, we generally close and lock the door behind us. Most homes have large windows to let in light or frame a view, but the windows are usually shut and covered with closed blinds or curtains drawn. I suppose this is for privacy and security. My friend had an interesting perspective on this - she called it "voluntary prison."

Photo by Stefano Costanzo via Fotopedia

We shut ourselves in and keep others out. We rarely engage with those in close proximity to us. We do this while living in the land of freedom and prosperity.  The majority of outings are to go to work, shops, or regularly scheduled meetings (like church). We started calling our road trip her "Prison Break."

I hadn't thought of this as a voluntary prison, but I noticed this myself since returning to America.

In our neighborhood, I make a point of talking to neighbors. When I see them outside, I wave enthusiastically and say, "Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening!" The looks I get are usually surprise and uncertainty.

I am sure there have been times folks thought, "Who is this crazy lady waving at me? She must think she knows me." Some people pretend not to see me, which only encourages me further. Some folks wave back hesitantly. What I've noticed is the more I do it, some folks now expect it and participate willingly.

There is an older gentleman who is often on his front stoop. I see him as I walk the neighborhood in the afternoons. He used to be reluctant to respond to my greetings. Now I get a smile, a wave, and a "how are you doing?"

When we lock ourselves up in voluntary prison - we miss out on relationship building opportunities. I am okay with being the crazy lady in the neighborhood. Why? Because people matter to God and therefore they matter to me. Though the culture of my origin tells me to isolate myself, distrust my neighbors and "act normal." I choose a different path.

Romans 12:2 (The Message)
"Don't become so well adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking..."

Are there cultural norms you have chosen to reject? Is there something you value more than "fitting in?"

just Sheri, defined by Christ rather than my culture

Marital Communication 402: still traveling

The Hubs brought an interesting fact to my attention recently. I still travel quite a bit, more than the Average Jane for sure. I thought about it and realized I have taken some kind of trip every month since October.

For faithful readers, you know that I took a trip to China with my adopted dad to see one of my best friends in October. We toured Shanghai. I danced with the locals in a park. We ate from street vendors on "food street" and more.

Then I met up with my brother and his wife in South Carolina in November to spend time with our birth father. That same month I spent some time in the Chesapeake Bay with the William's family.

In December, I visited Austin, TX for work.

In January, I traveled to Colorado to participate in the memorial service for my birth father.

February brought a flight to Houston, some precious time with the Wonderful Whitlock family, and a cruise with family. In that trip we visited Mexico, the Cayman Islands and Jamaica.

In March, I plan to attend a work conference in Baltimore and have a tentative road trip planned to North Carolina.

This was graciously pointed out to me, because the day I returned from my cruise vacation I began planning my next international trip. If all goes as planned, I will be in India in the fall!

I think the conversation actually went more like this:

S: ...now that I am tied down.

K: Tied down? Hmph...you travel all the time!

Then I realized - he's right! Even being a mortgage-payer can't keep me in one place for long...our new "home" is now the launching pad to other destinations.

just Sheri, a nomad at heart

lost in the Caymans...

The end of February I joined a few of my family members on a cruise vacation. One of our ports was the Cayman Islands. This destination is part of the British Commonwealth. Why does that matter? Because they speak English.

One would think getting around in an English speaking country  would be easy, right? One would think...

As soon as we got off the ship we spoke with a taxi company at the pier. Our goal was to spend the day at a beach. Simple enough. The taxi representative told us, for a reduced price a tour bus driver would drop us at the beach site at the beginning of the tour. On the bus we go, but the driver doesn't stop until quite a bit later. The bus unloads in a place called Hell. At this point we speak with the driver and learn our desired location is five miles behind us. We could continue the tour as his unintended captives or make our way be city bus in a strange city to an unfamiliar destination. 

We chose the bus.

Thankfully, the city bus driver took us directly to the beach where we enjoyed lunch and sunshine.

I share this story because these are the things I miss about the overseas life. My heart longs for something you may not expect - I miss mystery meals because the waiter didn't understand my order and brought me what they thought I wanted. I miss getting lost in unfamiliar territory. Mis-communication is such a common occurrence in other lands. When traveling abroad these were a constant source of amusement for me. While others were often frustrated, I was enjoying the adventure (usually with a hearty laugh). In America, there is no mystery when placing my order at a restaurant, the waiter is likely to bring exactly what I requested. In America, I drive myself and have GPS in my car and on my phone. This means I rarely get off the beaten path and I have no chance of ending up in a place other than my desired location. Sure there were moments when living an uncertain reality was exhausting; but, it kept life interesting! 

While living overseas - every chore, every errand, every day was an adventure; often these unexpected experiences created the best memories...sort of like hitching a city bus ride out of Hell in the Cayman Islands.

just Sheri, enjoying the memories/adventure along the journey of life

Austin, Texas

In early December, I received an all expense paid trip to Austin, Texas. No, I didn't participate in a raffle or anything like that. It was work related. A company we contract with sent out a survey asking for customer input. I replied, not even sure they read those things. Apparently they do. To my surprise, the CEO herself called and said they were holding a user group meeting, flying some folks to their headquarters to share product ideas and I was invited. Nice! This definitely encourages me to complete more customer satisfaction surveys!

I had the opportunity to meet users from all over the US (though this is a global company) and learn from them. I left with many new ideas. Though I was the new kid on the block, one of the ways we use the system was featured as a best practice. Hooray! It's nice when hard work is recognized.

Austin is a great city. I had been there before. The trip was only a couple of days and we hadn't seen anything but the hotel and the corporate headquarters (and the short walk between the two). So, a group of us decided to get out one night. The staff dropped us off at a local restaurant/hang-out that was supposed to have some specialty items. Then they drove away. We walked up to the establishment to learn the entire place was reserved for a private party. Someone had a taxi app on their smart phone and called a cab, that is when the adventure began! 

As it turns out, there is a rule about cab occupancy. A four passenger maximum. We were five. We had requested a large vehicle knowing we wouldn't fit in a normal sedan and honestly didn't know the rule. We had already waited 40-minutes for this cab to arrive. That is when one of the ladies kicked her negotiating skills in to high gear.

She convinced the Cabby to let her ride in the back. She did this on the way to a new destination and on the way back to our hotel.

Here is a photo of the same type of cab outside our hotel the next day (not the same Cabby to protect the guilty and generous).

When travelling, there will be unexpected hurdles. Roll with it!

just Sheri, back to Virginia and my personal vehicle y'all

Food Street

For dinner on our last night in Wuhan, we toured "food street." This was a first for the Whincop family and we had a great time checking out the stalls and tasting a bit of what they had to offer.

D.J. was impressive! Here she is eating squid from a food booth. There wasn't a thing she didn't sample. Not only is she nearly as tall as me (and likely to surpass me by our next visit), but she is braver than me when it comes to cuisine. Well done!

 D.J. does have a mentor when it comes to adventurous eating. Her dad! Like father, like daughter. Look at those smiles!

 This man was smoking while cooking. I tried to get a snap (photo). He caught me and this was his response. Uh-uh-uh!

There were many wonderful smells and tastes...and some not so wonderful (stinky tofu for instance). But, this delicacy called "chocolate fish" left a big impression. Warm dough with melted chocolate inside - in the shape of a fish. Tough to beat - especially for someone who likes bread and chocolate. Mmmm, good! I want another, please. Too bad they are so far away.

just Sheri,  samples make a great meal

Dancing in the park

Parks in China are a gathering place. There are those playing Mahjong. Those singing or playing instruments. Groups participating in Tai Chi. Kite flying. People watching. But, my favorite public park activity - DANCING! 

I love to dance, though I don't get to do it much these days. I found a group of ladies doing ballroom dancing. One seemed to be the teacher. I jumped right in for a lesson. Ahh, dancing! Apparently, a universal language as it did not require us to communicate with words in order to connect. 

 

When I travel, it is moments like these (unscripted and shared with the locals) that I cherish. Thanks for documenting the moment, Fiona.

just Sheri, danced in the park

Patience is a virtue

Asia is full of beautiful handicrafts. In China there are many elaborate wood and marble carvings on display. Any time I see work like this, I have one thought, "that took a LOT of patience." Patience is something we lack in America. We value immediate results, but that leads to a lot of cookie cutter products. Only patience, LOTS of patience, can create a thing of such beauty.

just Sheri, an impatient American

"Venice" of China

Not far from Shanghai is an ancient water town. We took a tour. So glad we did!

Two of my favorite people on earth.

our "gondolier"

Fiona striking a pose.

Every day life happening around us. A lady doing her washing in the river as we pass by on our boat tour.

just Sheri, explorer on an expedition

Touring Shanghai on foot

Our first full day in China was spent taking a walking tour of Shanghai. This is a city that was new to my dad and I. He came with a list of things to see written on a piece of paper. Our tour guide, Fiona, did her best to show us those that made the top of her list. Here is a sample of what we saw on our tour...

Yuyuan Garden

Just outside the gardens is shopping, eating, and crowds. Though I am told this is not crowded. We came just after a long holiday, which means most folks had to return to work and this was only the remnant. Can you see the small Starbucks sign on the left? 

The city was calling to us from the distance. That was the next stop. 

Museum at the Pearl Tower
There were a couple of sites that earn honorable mention at the museum.

This is an ancient bridal carriage. Very ornate. Likely heavy. The bride had to be teeny-tiny to fit inside. A must see in person as photos don't do it justice.

The museum curators had set up scenes of ancient China throughout the museum. They fenced these off with short iron gates and put up signs asking people not to disturb the display.

I guess the locals believe that message is for everyone else (though written in their language). At each display there were locals jumping the fence and making themselves part of the scene. I took a picture of them taking a picture of themselves in the display. Ahhh, China!

The Bund (a.k.a. financial district of Shanghai)
You may look at these buildings and think, "I wasn't expecting buildings like this in China. Those look more European." You'd be right. Back in the day when international trade happened through ship ports, Europeans built this on the water front for trade purposes. Today, it houses financial institutions, hotels and high-end shopping. It is a major tourist attraction for the city - glad I got to see it first hand.

just Sheri, enjoying the role of "tourist"

I went to China and I saw...

Red lanterns. Lots and lots of red lanterns.

 An iconic building. The Pearl Tower. A symbol of Shanghai.

Chinese writing...on sidewalks, buildings, and even a Snickers bar from the airport. (hand modeled by Fiona)

Local markets. (The only shopping I actually enjoy.)

Fishing in the middle of a park in the city of Wuhan.

 People that I love - despite the miles between us.

Signs that make me laugh. Someday, I hope to get a good photo of footprints on the toilet bowl. This was the next best thing - a sign telling people not to stand on the toilet seat.

"Indigenous food."

These scenes were experienced with my favorite travel buddy by my side, from beginning to end. My dad - an exceptional man who is dear to my heart.

just Sheri, a jet lagged traveler with a happy heart