Thanksgiving

This year on the eve of Thanksgiving there are a few things I am particularly thankful for...

1. the support of my family
2. the wealth of experiences I have been afforded in my short life
3. the depth of friendships that I have with so many amazing, talented, strong women
4. above all else this year, I am grateful for my health. Until recently I have completely taken for granted the fact that I am able to rise each day and do what I want to do. That I have never visited a doctor for long periods of time, but rather just annual or semi-annual check-ups. I have not been poked and proded or tested and retested. I am healthy and that is a gift - not an entitlement.

I am cooking my first Thanksgiving meal for seven this year. I will be doing this as a gift to my friend who does not share the good fortune of good health. As we sit down for a meal, I will thank God for these blessings. What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving?

I will write again next week. Enjoy your Thanksgiving - a wonderful (and uniquely American) holiday!

Just Sheri, counting my blessings

I am setting a "humanity" budget

A faithful reader of this blog and a person I am proud to call "friend" recently sent me an email as an answer to a long standing question I have had - what to do about the beggars I encounter on the street?

I first posted the beggar dilemma here and then a follow-up post here.

I have found the answer to my dilemma. I am going to assign myself a certain amount of "pocket change" each month as part of a "humanity budget." The amount will vary based on our income streams, but I am thinking 1% of our income to randomly give to those I see in need (including beggars).

My friend found this on http://www.bloodandmilk.org/. I am re-posting without permission because I like what the author has to say and would like to encourage others toward random acts of kindness, not because of sustainability or a judgement call on how our gift will be spent, but simply because it is valuing the humanity in others - especially those who are less fortunate than I.  Enough introduction, now for the good stuff...

Giving on the Street


I have spent my adult life confronted by people asking me for money on the street. In college in Washington DC, as a young graduate in Cairo, a grad student in Boston, and in the various countries of Central Asia. I have a policy now on who I give to, and why I do it. It’s the combination of some great advice I received from a Georgetown professor* and my own knowledge of development and poverty.

Here’s the policy:

I don’t give money to children. I will give them food if I have it, but I don’t give money. Children should be in school, not out earning money on the street. I don’t want to encourage children to beg, or their parents to send them out to beg. In accounting terms, children should not be a profit center – especially not in this way – and I am not going to contribute to it.

I don’t give money and expect it to have any long-term impact. Five dollars or a banana isn’t going to change anybody’s life. It will buy their next meal, or their next beer. It will make this day a little better for them. That is all. When I give money, I give it with that understanding.

I have a budget. I spend ten dollars a week on giving money to people who ask for it. It doesn’t come out of my charitable contribution budget, because I use that for donations that will have an impact. It has its own line in my budget.

If you had to name that line in my budget, I guess you could call it humanity. I give because I don’t want to become someone who ignores the pain of others. We’re all human beings, together, on this planet, and it’s only an accident of luck that means I can give and not receive. I recognize that, and so I give. If I was hungry and alone on the street, I wouldn’t be worried about sustainability, I would be worried about dinner.

That’s it. That’s the policy.

Note #1 – The story my professor at Georgetown told our class: He was in a North African Country – Algeria, I think – and he was very uncomfortable with all the beggars on the street. He’d plan his walk to his university to avoid them. He didn’t look them in the eye. He never knew if he should give. Then, one night, he was walking with an Algerian colleague. His colleague stopped suddenly in the middle of their conversation, and crossed the street in order to give money to a beggar. My professor realized then he needed to find a way to be equally compassionate himself. He went home and told his wife about it, and she suggested a weekly budget for him, and that is what he has done ever since. And also what I do.

Note #2 – I have a friend who used to have a weekly budget for giving to the homeless, when he realized one day that $10 a week is $520 a year. Now, ever January, he writes a $600 check to an organization that works with the homeless and he never gives money on the street. That seems like a reasonable and pragmatic approach to me, but it doesn’t suit my own heart.
 
Just Sheri, protecting my own heart from coldness and unkindness by giving (randomly) to the needy

Because I've experienced this love, I can love others

In Christ Alone lyrics
Songwriters: Getty, Julian Keith; Townend, Stuart Richard;

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm

What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand...

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From a life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny

No power of hell, no scheme of man
Could ever pluck me from His hand
'Til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I stand

What inspires you? On those horrible, no good, very bad days - what keeps you going?

Just Sheri, a life changed by the love of another

Keeping it Real...

I was recently reminded of a story that had a big impact on me as a young(er) person. I think I was around 15 years old when I read a children's story and it brought with it new insight. I was reminded about this by a blog post from a stranger, which was retweeted by a friend. So, I clicked the link to Single Dad Laughing and a post about The Disease Called  "Perfection".

I like what the author had to say, it has obviously resonated with many. It has certainly identified a major problem in the culture I come from, which is also likely a human condition.

The blogger says:

"Perfection" is a hideous monster with a really beautiful face. And chances are you're infected. The good news is, there is a cure.

Be real.

Embrace that you have weakness. Because everybody does. Embrace that your body is not perfect. Because nobody's is. Embrace that you have things you can't control. We all have a list of them.

Be real...BE real....Be REAL...Real, really? That is a tough one.

Through a serious of difficult circumstances in my life I have come to despise pretense. I have a very low tolerance for it anymore - but it wasn't always this way and sometimes I can still slip back in to old habits because being real is also quite a vulnerable place to live.

What does a children's story have to do with this difficult, adult topic? It offers the best explanation I've ever seen of what it means to be real - really real. Below is an excerpt from the Velveteen Rabbit.

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day..."Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you..."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."
 
"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"


"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you become Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

Enough said. What are your thoughts on the disease of "Perfection" and the struggle to become real?

Sheri

Samuel's Ear

A couple of years ago I started reading in the old testament of the Bible. I had come to a point where all the stories in the new testament were so familiar they had become common to me. I would start reading and think of all the sermons I had heard on those scriptures, or what I had studied before on the topic. I needed something fresh, a new perspective. So, I started reading the old testament. This decision has even brought new light to familiar passages. One character really stuck out to me - the prophet Samuel.

In his story, Samuel has a very honest relationship with God. He has conversations with the Holy One. He hears God's instructions clearly. He obeys. While reading Samuel's story, I journaled about how I admired his faith and authentic relationship with the Almighty. These are things I desire.

Fast forward a couple of years and I am reading a book and going through a study with a group of women about hearing the voice of God and having the guts to respond. The author is Bill Hybels. Again, Samuel's story emerges as an example of faith and obedience. Hybels shares a poem he learned in second grade that summarizes the impact Samuel's story has had on me. Maybe you will enjoy reading it too.

Oh! Give me Samuel's ear, an open ear, O Lord!
Alive and quick to hear each whisper of thy word.
Like him to answer to thy call and to obey thee first of all!

This is my prayer these days. What is yours?

Sheri

FAQ: deodorant - public health risk?

There is one blog post everyone back home was talking about. What was the hottest topic of all? The topic of body odor and the use (or lack of) deodorant where we live. The original post was about the expense of the product we use everyday.

Talking about this topic so much got me to thinking about why we use deodorant everyday. Do we do it for a public health reason or it purely vanity?

I did a google search on the public health benefits of deodorant. True to it's name it only serves one purpose - to cover or eliminate body odor. There were lots of articles about the toxic effects of using deodorant...just another way Americans unknowingly poison themselves. There are herbal varieties available to reduce the risks. Then I found this article that talks about the health benefits of body odor - that it is our bodies way of telling us whether we are eating things that are good for our bodies or bad for them.

Since I have no plans to give up animal products in the near future (I love cheese too much), I will continue my vanity routine of using deodorant. But, I have found this whole discussion interesting. Just another way living overseas has changed my perspective about things I used to consider "normal."

Sheri

Leadership Summit: Adam Hamilton

Going in to the Summit I had a pressing question on my mind - how do people do it, how do they keep going? How do they not just stumble and lose their way? I was wondering this because just weeks before, it was announced that another leader who had an impact had been participanting in an extramarital affair. He lost his job. She lost her job. This is not the first (nor I suspect the last) time I will receive this news.

A couple of years ago I was reading "Ascent of a Leader." In that book a surprising statistic was cited - 70% of leaders do NOT finish well. Somewhere along the way they get caught up in a sexual scandal, money scheme or some other public moral failure. Yikes! That really concerns me, especially as someone who wants to be faithful to the end. I mentioned this to K and he suggested I look at it a different way.

Oh yeah, what's that?

His response, "100% of people have a sin problem. So, 30% figured out a way to not give in to sin." I still wonder how to be one of the 30%, but I am just trying to take that day by day. I have a long road ahead of me...

Adam Hamilton gave an inspired message at the Summit. It was also one I needed to hear. His church had two well known pastors, with very public ministries, participating in an affair with each other. He had to deal with it and he decided to challenge the church to a life of integrity. You may be thinking they did this through a public shaming of the sinners, but that wasn't his message.

His message was that none of us are immune. As the church we should be caring for broken people, standing beside them...that is our calling.

I loved his message. I think too often we condemn (often publicly) and neglect to help the people involved rebuild their lives.

If you have messed up. If you know someone who has messed up. I pray you take Adam's advice and believe to the core of your being that no one is beyond redemption. God loves you more than you will ever understand and still has a wonderful plan for your life.

Sheri

can you say burnout? I almost lived it

It's been a rough year. I had two tearful good-byes from teams that I love and work that inspired me. We moved continents twice in the span of one year. Professionally, I was struggling to connect with the work in Mozambique. I felt like a young teenager who was scared to get their heart broken again. Because of this, I was just doing a job. I'd show up to work, check things off my to do list, go home. I hardly felt connected to what was going on in the field. I wasn't investing heavily in relationships with people. I was numb in some places and hard in others. There were many times I thought it would just be easier to throw in the towel. I left for home leave weary and had only one goal; find my passion again - if I could not, then I should get out as I wasn't doing anyone any favors in the state I was in.

Today, I am in a much better place. It is amazing what a little rest will do, it does the body (and the spirit) good! I also did some specific things to help renew my soul.

While in New Mexico I visited the Sangre de Cristo mountains. I love nature, mountains in particular. I hiked for hours, then watched a beginning painting class as I sat soaking in the sunshine. 

I purposefully and accidentally met with people who have impacted me in positive ways over the years, those who serve faithfully decade after decade.

We visited with many good friends. This is just a sample from Kansas City.

I also attended the annual Global Leadership Summit - the one conference I make sure to attend every year. Why? It inspires me. It envigorates me. It reminds me what a privelege it is to do what I do for a living, despite the difficulties. The conference this year did not disappoint...but more on that later.

I had lost my passion somewhere along the way. I didn't like operating without it. Somewhere in the past few weeks I found it again. There is wisdom in my employers strategy of allowing us home leave. Going home allows us to be refreshed so we can return anew, ready to face the daily challenges of this work and life.

I have already started back at work. Today is the start of my first full week. Here we go...

Sheri

Good hair?

I have thick, straight, medium brown hair. It doesn't hold curl. It must be washed daily or it gets greasy. In Africa, my hair is a source of amusement - why, oh why, would I wash my hair every day? Because I must, I can't get away with that once a week hair salon trick they do. My hair basically just hangs off my head, anything else is a whole lot of effort and I just can't be bothered. Most day's it goes back in a rubber band, that's it, nothing more. I've often wanted waves in my hair, but that isn't what I was born with. The blessing of my hair; I wash, I go - no fuss, no frills. It fits my lifestyle.

Is hair really that big of a deal?

While visiting New Mexico there were multiple conversations with family about hair. My aunts have spent years getting relaxers as they have more kinky hair than I. One aunt had a bad relaxer session and had chunks of hair fall out from the top of her head, she was sporting a very stylish comb over with the hair that remained while the other hair grew out. My aunts grew up using flat irons and still use them daily. If Kenyon and I are blessed with a little girl, I have no idea what I will do about her hair - probably call my family for advice. My cousin (and first boss) has mixed daughters. I asked her for her solution,"keep it short, when they get older and want it long they can do it themselves." If I have a daughter, I will need lessons. During one of the many hair conversations, I shared with my family a song by my favorite recording artist, India Arie, titled "I am not my hair." You can view it here. It's all about hair and the expectations/perceptions society has of it.

In Virginia, the topic of hair came up again. Black hair in particular as Ramone does not like to comb his and his adopted momma doesn't like to fight with him about it. It is in this conversation that I learned about Chris Rock's documentary on black hair, called Good Hair. He made this documentary when one of his daughters asked him why she doesn't have "good hair." We rented it one night from the Red Box. I recommend it to anyone who wants to know more about black culture. I learned some things from it myself; the fake hair industry is dominated by Asians rather than black entrepreneurs and weave is a serious investment costing more than I ever realised. My absolute favorite though, was the term "tumble weave," we see this phenomena often in Africa. In fact, I have regular sightings at our apartment complex. What is it? Watch the movie and find out.

Kenyon was surprised by the largest supplier of weave. Where does all that hair come from? Mostly India. From women who have their head shaved as part of religious ceremonies. Suppliers then collect it from the temples, prepare it and export it globally. The women who donated it see no proceeds for their valuable hair. I had previously read about this in a news article from the BBC. Indian women have beautiful hair, I understand why others would covet it.

What is your definition of "good hair?"

I relate,

Booker T. Washington..."I always envy the individual whose life-work is so laid that he can spend his evenings at home. I have sometimes thought that people who have this rare privilege do not appreciate it as they should."

I have had similar thoughts myself. Do you cherish routines or daily time with family? It is a gift, at least that is how I see it.

Quotable Quotes: pity, joy and satisfaction

"I pity the man, black or white,
who has never experienced the joy and satisfaction that come to one by reason of an effort
to assist in making some one else more useful and more happy."

Booker T. Washington

Summer Reading: Up From Slavery

I love to read. It is my favorite leisure activity. I don't really know how my love for reading started, but I know it is unquenchable. I think it is because it feeds my love of learning. I enjoy reading stories of great men and women who have gone before, how they overcame adversity, how they fought for a mighty cause, or how their work made a difference in the world. These are my favorite stories. I would take a good biography or auto-biography over a fiction story any day.

I was recently looking through my uncles bookshelves to find something to read. Over the years it seems he has lent me or recommended most of his books. Then one caught my eye...Booker T. Washington's Up From Slavery.

Booker T. Washington began his life as a slave in Virginia. I am currently visiting friends in Virginia as part of our home leave. As I drive around this city, so full of history, I wonder what it would be like to live during the times of the transatlantic slave trade. Slavery was officially abolished in this country with the enactment of the Thirteenth Ammendment in our Constitution which was signed in to law December 1865. This book was first published 36 years later.

I view this book as a demonstration of character, will, faith and generosity. There are many quotes in the book I find inspiring. I will share one here:

When speaking of his mentor, General Armstrong, Washington says, "From his example in this respect I learned the lesson that great men cultivate love, and that only little men cherish a spirit of hatred. I learned that assistance given to the weak makes the one who gives it strong; and that oppression of the unfortunate makes one weak." Advocating a life of generosity, I like that.

There is some criticism of Washington in the black community. Why? because he advocated education in trades over higher education, especially for his race.  He set up Tuskegee Institute, of which he was president, to focus primarily on trade education and required every student to do some form of manual labor while a student there. Some consider that limiting. On this matter Washington says, "in my mind, the truth I am constantly trying to impress upon our students at Tuskegee - and on our people throughout the country, as far as I can reach them with my voice - that any man, regardless of colour, will be recognized and rewarded just in proportion as he learns to do something well - learns to do it better than some one else - however humble the thing may be." I can see wisdom in his stance.

This summer, as I look for refreshing and relaxation. As I hope for inspiration before returning back to my life and work overseas. I am reading the stories of great individuals. So far, they have not disappointed me. This is one I would recommend, also for the American history it offers during the time of reconstruction.

No man is an island

I've read books about great people. Our culture likes to make movies about them. I believe there are many great people who give of themselves faithfully for years whom we may never hear about - we may never hear their tale of extreme generosity or overcoming trials, but that doesn't lessen their impact.

I have been blessed to encounter such people on my life journey. Marty Orr is one of them. When I think of Martha the word that comes to mind is: faithful. I've known her since I was a little girl. In college she secured permission for me to volunteer with her at the School for the Deaf so I could learn about Occupational Therapy, the career path I thought I would pursue when graduating high school. She even met with me early in the morning to help me learn sign language so I could interact with the kids. Martha attended my graduation.

When I was in college and early in my adult life, Martha would send postcards with encouraging words and scriptures. She did this often and she did this for years, even when all she received from my end was silence. The generosity she has shown me, she has given to many others - children in difficult situations, those incarcerated, and so many more.

Martha may never know how much of an encouragement she has been to me in my life, but I thank God for her and the example of faithfulness she has shown me. On my recent visit to New Mexico, Kenyon and I met up with Martha and her husband Jimmy for lunch. It is always a blessing to see their smiling faces. This was a photo taken at the end of that lunch.

I was recently asked if I think there are still faithful individuals like those we hear about in history and through movies. I know there are. Martha is one of them. Premdas is one of them. I have had the privilege of meeting so many others in my travels. You may never hear their story, but my life has been enriched through these encounters. I suspect yours has been too, by others.

No man is an island, entire unto itself...I am so grateful for those who have gone before me and invested in me. I pray I can follow a similar path and have strength to endure.

black chicken

Premdas from India (a personal hero of mine, the pastor who married us, and the only truly great person I've ever had the pleasure of meeting) has been sick. He recently had heart surgery and is recovering, though it doesn't look like he will be returning to full time ministry. The announcement of his sickness reminded me how home sick I am for India. I must get back! I must. And soon. But how? When? I don't know...yet.

Anyway, while on a recent visit to a province in Mozambique I saw black and white chickens running around - not chickens colored like zebras, but chickens of different colors. These chickens reminded me of Premdas. Why? Because he has a saying related to black and white chickens. He would call all of the foreigners "white chickens." One time I asked him why. He explained to me that white chickens are more fragile, they melt in the sun, they require more care, they need special diets. Apparently black chickens are different.

According to Premdas, black chickens are more resilient. Survivors. Indians are black chickens.

I have learned so much from Premdas about how to be an authentic person who dedicates themselves for the benefit of others. He's been doing it for decades. I still have so much to learn from him, my Indian daddy. Today, I am grateful for the lessons in resilience and was reminded by the sight of a black chicken.

update: what to do?

A few months ago, I posted about my dilemma with beggars. At the time I was struggling with how to respond. I continue to struggle with how to respond.

Recently, I was reading in the book of Matthew (in the Bible) and one of the scriptures seemed to answer my question. Matthew 6:42 reads:

Give to the one who begs from you.

Well, that seems simple enough, but really it just leads to another question. What should I give - Money? Time? Clothes? Should my gift come with strings attached, like pick up trash or wash my car? Or should my gift be given out of the kindness of my heart with no strings attached? What are your thoughts? What do you do when you encounter a beggar on the street?

A case for kindness

This is the year of abounding kindness. Since coming to Mozambique I have been given many opportunities for kindness in my new role. I can't say I have always responded the best way possible.

One of the changes in the relocation is that I am now in charge of HR for the four offices and nearly 300 staff. This poses many challenges and provides many opportunities for kindness. My job is essentially an office job, my investment is in the staff rather than the beneficiaries (which is not always the way I want it, it is just the way it is). Practically each day I am confronted with a case for kindness.

In my first week one of our security guards in a northern province experienced a stroke. He is now paralyzed, can't speak or walk. In my role, how should I best respond to that? Well, we tried to get him medical care ASAP and to work with the INSS (social security) to get his benefits quickly.

This week I received very sad news. One of the cooks in the same province was found dead. The cause of his death was alcohol poisoning from overconsumption. We had written him up recently for coming to work drunk. Following his death we discovered that he lost a child last year and his wife had left him. These events likely influenced his alcohol consumption. I didn't know his circumstances, was there something I could have done to help? Could I have been more sensitive? How many people do I interact with daily who have struggles that I am blind to?

Granted, we all still have choices to make, but this event has reminded me why I chose kindness as a theme this year and I hope I will demonstrate it more often in daily interactions.

We are five months in to the year, how are you doing in keeping your new year's resolution?

can't we all just get along?

I John 4:9-11
God showed his love for us when he sent his only Son into the world to give us life. Real love isn't our love for God, but his love for us. God sent his Son to be the sacrifice by which our sins are forgiven. Dear friends, since God loved us this much, we must love each other.

Last year at this time I was thinking about moving overseas. I was looking for opportunities in places with interesting work where I thought Kenyon and I might be able to build a life. At that time I heard something that stuck with me, "the number one reason people leave the field (the overseas work that we are now doing), is because of interpersonal relationships."

Interpersonal realtionships. Really? Someone would leave their family, their friends, their lives and move to the unknown - then, surprisingly, give it all up because they can't get along with others. I find that sad.

I don't know what it is, but I can tell you from experience that I now understand the statistic. I am struggling with a particular relationship in my life. It is someone I work closely with and I am struggling to get past it. God challenges us to love each other, but I am finding it hard to respond in a loving way. Why is this so hard?

Maybe it is the daily stresses we are under in living overseas and this reduces our patience and tolerance for one another? Maybe it is because there is no escape, the lines between home and work life are blurred and too much time together reaps conflict? Maybe it is a spiritual battle and the way the enemy knows we can be defeated?

I don't know what it is, what I do know is it is a very real struggle and one that affects my mood (makes me irritable) and my efficiency (I waste a lot of energy thinking about how to deal with it).

Advice is welcome. Prayer is needed.

splendid gray hair

In the culture I come from, gray hair is something to be ashamed of. We cover it up. We have advertisements with little jingles that say, "I am going to wash that gray right out of my hair."

Gray hair is not splendid, rather it is a tragedy.

In my culture, we long for the fountain of youth and would love if we can look 25 years old perpetually. That's why plastic surgeons make such a good living, because their work is valued in our culture. We will pay any price to fight aging.

The Bible says, "The glory of young men is their strength, gray hair the splendor of the old." (Proverbs 20:29)

I am a product of my culture. I can tell you that the day I found my first gray hair, I would not describe it as splendor. Now I have many more grays, to the point I am starting to debate the need for coloring my hair on a regular basis.

Cambodians are different. Those with gray hair are revered. The older are treated with honor. Because of this, gray hair isn't dreaded but welcomed. One of my colleagues (a female American) has decided she is going to stop covering her grays. Instead, she is going to follow the Cambodian way and embrace them.

I am still debating my choice.

Should I cover the gray hairs that have begun to appear on my head? I don't know that I have the energy for that, nor could I be bothered to maintain it. I am a low maintenance girl - the only make-up I wear is mascara and I don't blow dry my hair. I am not sure I am willing to add regular visits to the beauty shop as part of my routine, as it would have to be frequent because my hair grows quickly.

Should I embrace gray hair and consider it splendor? I am quite certain my psyche isn't ready for all that. I've had years of acculturation that tells me otherwise.

What are your thoughts?

if you were hungry, would you steal food?

A while back I posed this question to staff teams in Africa - if you were hungry, would you steal food? Their answer surprised and inspired me.

Unanimously they said, "no." I can't say with such confidence and conviction that I wouldn't steal if I had a family to feed. I might steal. I am quite certain I would seriously consider stealing warm bread for my family. With conviction, those around me (who have seen more poverty than I could imagine) said, "no, stealing isn't the cure to hunger." So, what is? Faith, they said.

Faith? They proceeded to tell me miraculous stories of God's provision in times of trouble, stories about the generosity of strangers and the compassion of a loving God.

God says we shouldn't worry about these things, that He will provide what we need. (Matt 6:25-34) I struggle believing that day-to-day.

Last week I was meeting with a women's group in a community that has taken up residence in shacks surrounding the city dump. They make money by collecting trash and trading that in for pennies at the recycling center. I've seen people like this collecting items around town. I usually hand them my empty water bottle, or when I take my trash to the curb I place the items of interest to the side so they can be easily picked up rather than sift through my rubbish. One of the churches we work with in town has begun ministering to this community, with these women.

During our visit, without prompting, they started talking about how God has impacted their life. They told stories of what their life was like before knowing Christ and what it is like now. These were incredible stories of faith and God's provision. These stories were told with overwhelming gratitude. But why? Aren't they still poor living beside a trash dump and collecting what other people (like myself) discard in order to gain a measly wage? Yes. Again, I was surprised and inspired. These ladies are assured there is a God in heaven who cares for them.

I hope that if I were hungry, rather than steal food, I would be able to trust the living God to meet my daily needs. I hope I could have just a fraction of the faith of these people. I am not sure I could be so courageous.

What about you? If you were hungry, would you steal food?

make new friends...

Do you remember that childhood song?

Make new friends, but keep the old

One is silver and the other gold

I've thought a lot about that lately. When I was living in Kansas City I had the best friends of my life - the best. I'd go over to their house for dinner often. We went to church together. We worked out together. We shared life together. I didn't have to explain my life history - they knew it as I knew theirs. Many of those friends have moved, many remain. I miss them. I miss having that kind of community. We are still in touch, but it's not the same as when we lived in the same city.

Living in North Carolina, it was difficult to build community. Why? Because I was never there. I would often joke that my job prevented any social life. When I'd meet someone I connected with just setting up a lunch date was a chore.

Potential New Friend: would you like to get together for lunch next week?

S: I can't. I'll be traveling for the next two weeks.

PNF: what about when you get back?

S: yeah, maybe we can do it then. I have four days in town this month, before I leave again.

I did make a few friends in Boone. One actually used to write my travel dates on her calendar. She'd pray for me when I traveled and she'd contact me to get together when I was home. What a gal! We would not have had the friendship we did if it had not been for her efforts.

I am making friends here in Cambodia. There is a group of ladies (they are all single) who I spend a lot of time with. You are probably wondering, "then why does this post have such a melancholy tone?" (maybe not those exact words, but something like that)

I am melancholy, because reality has recently set in. All of these ladies will be gone by June at latest. This life is full of transition. People are transient, temporary. They come for a season and then they go. I started to wonder if I even have energy to keep trying to make new friends. It's exhausting!

Then I saw this umbrella advertisement that reads: It all starts with hello.

I don't know why exactly, but it inspired me. There was a single gal from the UK who I've said hello to at church many times. I recently exchanged numbers with her and we got together for lunch. That first lunch isn't as comfortable as it would be with an old friend, but I have to keep trying. I must keep making new friends.