Found: a female dominant profession

I know that I have mentioned it before, but my new job is in a hospital. At orientation the male to female ratio was 9 females to one male. I continue to notice the landslide gender imbalance in my favor. The president of the hospital where I work is a female, as are most of the VP's.

I work for a foundation and at each meeting I attend with others in my field I am keenly aware of the female dominance.

This is VERY new to me. I started my career in technology, which is heavily male dominant...it seems that since then women in my chosen professions seem to be the minority. Not anymore. I have found a profession where women rule - health care. Yes, most of the doctors I have seen are men, but that is a topic for another day.

just Sheri, part of the dominant group (for the first time)

ROBBED!

Yesterday my co-worker had her wallet taken from her desk.

I learned through this experience that teams of petty thieves target hospitals, they walk halls looking for open and vacant offices and snatch what they can. I suppose that is the risk of working in a public facility.

What was amazing is the damage they did in less than one hour. Security has the suspect leaving the building on video surveillance at 2:17pm. By 3:07pm when all credit cards were discontinued, the thief had racked up nearly $2,000 in purchases from Target and Best Buy.

They committed the felony of stealing credit cards in one county and went shopping in a neighboring county, which makes it hard to prosecute if apprehended. That leads me to believe these guys are knowledgeable about the system.

What a terrible way to end a work day.

Have you ever had something taken from you?

just Sheri, realizing vulnerabilities

valet parking?

I mentioned last week that my new job is located in a hospital complex. I've spent quite a bit of time at US hospitals lately and there is a phenomena I've observed that surprises me. I have seen it many times now, and each time it surprises me and leaves me shaking my head. What is that, you ask?

Well...hospitals now offer free valet parking. Seriously. It doesn't look much different than this photo other than the men are wearing colorful vests and no bow-tie. It works like a typical valet service where they give you a ticket in exchange for your keys, park your car, and then fetch it when you are ready to leave.

Yes. I fully acknowledge the frustration of roaming parking lots hunting for a spot. But, is this necessary? Really? Are we really that impatient? 

Just so we are clear, I am not talking about emergency room visits, those have a separate (fast) system. It seems to me those who use valet service are visiting relatives at the hospital, or coming in for a check-up or other non-emergency reasons.

Have you seen this? What do you think - good customer service or unnecessary luxury?

just Sheri, thoughts from a parking vulture roaming the lot 

bits of my weekend: Alexandria old town and a parade

Kenyon is taking a nursing class in Alexandria. He kept telling me how wonderful their downtown is, so I accompanied him this weekend.

I spent the first couple of hours in a coffee shop working to complete the Women and Girls health and wellness status report. Since starting my new job I haven't had as much time to work on it. While in the coffee shop I learned that I picked a good day to come to town - this was the day of the annual St. Patty's Day parade. I hadn't been to one of those in years! This was a favorite annual event when living in Kansas City.

I watched a bit of the two hour parade. Mostly I people watched and wished I'd thought to bring my camera as some of the costumes were unbelievable.

When the parade was over and the crowds started to clear, I browsed the shops in old town. I loved the mix of local, international and chain stores. The people were pretty mixed too - I lost count of the number of different languages I heard that day. I got caught up in a book store when Kenyon called to tell me his class had ended. Somehow it was already after 4pm.

We met up near the area where we parked the car and decided to have dinner at one of the restaurants in old town.

It was a fabulous day of productivity, celebration and relaxation. However, seeing things from other countries and hearing other languages had my mind wandering to the people I have met in foreign lands and my heart missing the life I once lived.

just Sheri, still in transition

a second vehicle

Now that I have a job and will be commuting about 20 miles each day, we were in the market for a second vehicle. Our number one criteria was fuel efficiency. Number two was that it fall in our price range. Number three was that it would be nice to have some space to put stuff, especially as we anticipate setting up house in the near future. The two may seem contradictory.

Thanks to the wonders of Craig's List we found a small, hybrid SUV that met our needs and some of our wants. The seller gave us a fabulous deal and I now ride comfortably to and from work each day.

just Sheri, unexpectedly riding in luxury

is there such a thing as an unattractive pharmaceutical rep?

My new job is located in a hospital. All day long there are pharmaceutical reps walking in and out of the building pulling their black rolling bag of product behind them.

The thing I have noticed is that everyone of them, male and female, look like they stepped out of the pages of a magazine. It leaves me wondering, is there such a thing as an ugly pharmaceutical rep? Would their job pay as much if their appearance wasn't resembling a model?

just Sheri, an inquiring mind wanting to know

driving tips

It's official. I am the older generation. How do I know? Well, if the grey hairs aren't enough to remind me...it is clear in the conversations I have with teenagers lately.

One example is driving. In the house we are living in there is a new teenage driver. In my day we were told to hold the wheel at 10 and 2 for better control when steering. Now they hold it at the bottom. As she describes it "like a thug." Why? Well, it isn't just for looks. I am told it is a safety reason, in case the air bags deploy.

I guess I learned to drive before the advent of the airbag. Apparently that makes me old.

just Sheri, not as young as I used to be

shrimp and grits: tasty?

I was offered shrimp and grits the other night while visiting girlfriends in North Carolina. I have never tried it because that combination doesn't sound appealing. Maybe I'd like it...maybe?

Have you tried shrimp and grits? Do you recommend the dish?

Just Sheri, curious (sort of)

I want, I want, I want...a knit infinity scarf

Have you seen these? Do you own one? I haven't seen anyone wear a knit infinity scarf in real life, but all the pictures are very intriguing to me.

Doesn't that just look cozy and warm? I haven't bought one yet as I can't decide on a color. I want purple and turquoise and grey and pink. I want long and short. I want large loops and tightly weaved. I want an infinity scarf...at least one.

What I am wondering is - do I not see them around on real people because they don't turn out to be a good purchase? Real people don't end up liking the scarf or knowing what to do with it after they have it. Hmmm, I wonder...

I haven't seen winter in a few years...like real winter with snow and freezing wind. Warm clothing is my new obsession.

Just Sheri, looking for ways to keep warm

on TV: undercover boss

I recently discovered a reality show (other than the Amazing Race) that I really like. What is it? Undercover Boss.

Frankly, it is brilliant marketing for these companies, but it is also fun to watch the top dog struggle doing the jobs that pay their salary. I enjoy hearing the stories of those who work in these companies - often stories of struggle and overcoming difficulty.

Once upon a time I worked in an office where we would be required to do a rotation at the front desk, regardless of role or responsibility. I had a director title, but I did my time like everyone else. I was horrible at it. I couldn't multi-task with ease. I didn't know the answer to many basic questions. I grew to appreciate the value that the front desk person added to our organization. The woman who did the job each day was brilliant at it. It is my belief that every leader should be reminded of the effort others put in to the organization...and that those low paid, entry-level jobs aren't easy - they take skill too.

What TV show are you watching and enjoying these days?

Just Sheri, rediscovering pop culture

culture shock: small talk

Since being back in the States I have realized I am presently inept at making small talk. I simply have nothing to contribute to conversations about movies or TV shows. My popular culture knowledge is limited if not completely handicapped. Why? Because I have been disengaged from the majority of these things for a few years now.

I haven't been able to follow sports teams, I haven't had access to the latest reading materials or blockbuster hits. I am clueless about such matters.

If you want to talk about international politics or foreign affairs - I am your girl. I have realized that in recent years the folks I met and spent time with were like me - foreigners in foreign lands. Our conversations were about surviving our circumstances, the things (and people) we missed back home and international development or relations. These aren't common conversation topics for those who are home.

I find in public settings where I used to be gregarious and engaged, I often sit silently. I have lost the ability to make small talk. Will it return? I don't know.

What are your favorite "small talk" conversation topics lately?

Just Sheri, suddenly appearing shy in public gatherings

who's responsible?

In recent weeks I have been asked one question many times. It is a follow-up to one of the most popular posts on this blog - What would you do for love? 


The question has come up with close friends and family members. It has been asked by acquaintances. Frankly, the question irritates me - not because it causes any doubt in me, but because it demonstrates to me what I find frustrating in our modern world.


What question has been asked so often that I am dedicating a blog post to it? What is it that has my panties in a wad and the hairs on the back of my neck standing up?


Why is it your responsibility to help this family?


That is a loaded question and I don't like it. My first reaction and the one that usually doesn't come out of my mouth is - "that is exactly what is wrong with the world. No one wants to help anyone when it is an inconvenience to themselves." 


What usually comes out of my mouth is - "do you have another solution?"


The answer I get is - "let someone else do it."


In case you are wondering. My days aren't glamorous. They are filled with playing taxi, doctors visits, daily IV's, sometimes blood, sometimes tears, sometimes bad moods and needy children. None of this my own, nor for myself. I watch our savings dwindle and only faint hopes of income on the horizon.


This choice has cost us. I left work I felt privileged to be a part of and gave up the opportunity for a good job in Kenyon's home town, where his family and our friends live. In order for us to stay together geographically, Kenyon gave up enrollment in a nursing class he had his heart set on. These were not easy sacrifices.


We are moving to a place where our primary contacts are this family and our social network outside of this home is limited. 


We also have limited familiarity with the area itself and are having to learn our way around in a new town and a state that is new to us.


I would be lying if I didn't say that some days I am tired. Some days I miss my old life and work. Some days I wish I could see more improvement or an immediate pay-off for the effort. But I NEVER question the importance of what I am doing, nor why I am doing it.


We came because my friend called me in tears in the wee hours of the morning (for her) and asked for my help. Months before she called God impressed upon my heart that I made a commitment to this family years ago to be the Godmother to these kids in the event that something bad happened. Something bad happened and I am determined to keep my commitment. Thankfully their mother is still alive, but she is sick. When she asked for my help. I knew my answer. It was obviously, "yes." I didn't think about the costs. I wouldn't do this for just anybody. In my world there are a handful of people on earth who qualify for this level of personal sacrifice. This friend is among that small group.


What is ailing me is the amount of push back we are getting from others. Some people have said they wouldn't even do this for their own family members, much less someone who is not a blood relative.


That, my friends, is what I think is wrong with the world. Hands down each of these dissenting voices would expect someone in their lives to give to them at this level if they needed it, but they are unwilling to do the same for someone else.


If not us, then who? Whose responsibility is it? Can someone, please, explain that to me?


Just Sheri, curious why the responsibility should be for someone else

lessons from fairy tales

How many times have you seen the story Cinderella? I can't even count the number of times I've seen it. I generally don't like fairy tale stories from Disney. Why? Because it usually involves a princess, who is fully capable, pining away for her prince to come.


It is my belief that the best prince will be found while living, not hidden away in a castle. I don't like sending the message to young girls that they are incomplete without a man. Instead, they should be all they were created to be and then find a man who appreciates them for who they are...anyway, I digress.


The purpose of this post isn't about the messages we send to girls about their worth, but instead I was reminded of one message in the fairy tale story of Cinderella that I do like. A message that is worth repeating. What is it? Believing in the impossible. Here is the wonderful exchange between her and her fairy godmother...


Cinderella: Is it possible to get those things by wishing for them?

Fairy Godmother: Well, the sensible people of this world will say Fol-de-rol and fiddle dee dee and fiddley faddley foddle all the wishes in the world are poppy cock and twoddle.

Cinderella: Aren't they?

Fairy Godmother: Not always. The sensible people will also say Fol-de-rol and fiddle dee dee and fiddley faddley foodle all the dreamers in the world are dizzy in the noodle.

Cinderella: And aren't they?

Fairy Godmother: Not always, especially when there is someone who loves you to help you...

Cinderella: Oh, dear Fairy Godmother it all seems so impossible!!

Fairy Godmother: Impossible! But the world is full of zanies and fools who don't believe in sensible rules and won't believe what sensible people say.. and because these daft and dewey eyed dopes keep building up impossible hopes impossible things are happening every day!


I must be one of those daft and dewey eyed dopes, because I keep building up impossible hopes that impossible things will happen. What impossible things are you hoping for?


Just Sheri, (still) hoping for the impossible 

Black Friday: an American tradition

Kelsey asked me to take her out for Black Friday. I agreed, but told her that I will be keeping my Black Friday tradition. 

K: what's that?

S: since I was young my dad would ask me to go with him. I go, but I reserve the right to complain. If that is an acceptable condition, then I will be up in the morning for Black Friday.

Kelsey agreed to my one condition as no one else was willing to participate. This photo is of us around 6am the morning after Thanksgiving.

For those who read this blog and are not familiar with the concept of Black Friday, let me explain.

In the United States, the day after Thanksgiving thousands of people (likely millions across the land) rise before the sun. Some dedicated individuals even camp out the night before or plan all night excursions for this annual event. What is it that has so many forgoing sleep? What could be so urgent a matter?

SHOPPING!!!

Black Friday traditionally marks the beginning of the Christmas season. To American's Christmas equals presents and presents equals shopping. Stores know that after consuming turkey our minds have already raced to the next thing we must do...and Christmas is on the horizon. Let the frenzy begin!

For us, the first stop was McD's for coffee and breakfast. I snapped this to document the event. The restaurant had been opened since 3am and it was buzzing by the time we got there.

My sister-in-law works in retail. She had to be at work by 4am that day. My brother said, "who needs to go shopping at 4am?" Apparently, there are many. Is this sane? Can someone, please, explain to me why we do this?

I have done it for years, when I am in country I am probably up before dawn for Black Friday (always reserving the right to complain). When living in Kansas I hit the shops around midnight with my friend Fiona. She wasn't originally from the US, but she caught on quickly. She came with organized lists, coupons and adverts. Fiona knew who did matching discounts and where the best deals on the hottest items would be. In my world she still holds the title of "Black Friday Queen." I stood in awe at both her organization and at our behavior...people will literally claw one another for a toy. Every year there is some sad story of someone being trampled to death when a store opens or when a desirable item is unveiled.

In case you didn't already know...in America we like our stuff, we like it a LOT.

Just Sheri, physically present but reserving the right to complain

culture shock: respect for the elderly

Proverbs 20:29  The glory of young men is their strength, gray hair the splendor of the old.

It has been more than a year since we lived in the USA.  I grew up here and had visited many other places, but this was the longest I had been away. There is something I have noticed since returning. Something about how we treat seniors in our society.

While stopping at the pharmacy recently to pick up prescriptions for my friend I had an interaction that surprised me. I was about to pull in to the only available parking spot in a packed lot when two elderly women stepped in front of me on their way to their car. I stopped in my tracks as they passed. It took them some time to get in to the car as one helped the other. I sat in my automobile making sure I wasn't blocking anyone behind me...and waited. This may have happened to you before. 

What surprised me is that they kept apologizing. They looked worried that I would be upset. When I pulled in to the parking space and opened my door, they apologized some more..."we are sorry you had to wait." Why should they be sorry? The time it took because of their physical difficulties should not be my chief concern, it did not inconvenience me. I should have apologized to them because I did not get out to help.

In my old life, the life where I lived here before moving overseas, I may have been thinking about all the things I had to do and places I had to go and the slowness of these two older women may have caused an unwelcome wait of an additional few minutes. But, that isn't their fault and they shouldn't feel unwelcome.

I left this interaction with a couple of impressions:

1. In so many other parts of the world the elderly are revered. They are given the special place of honor. Their opinion carries more weight. Grey hair has earned them respect. In my culture these individuals are almost looked at as disposable. The elderly certainly are on the fringes of our society. I am not sure that is how it should be. I do know that I didn't want to give the impression to these women that they were an unwelcome interruption or inconvenience.
2. How often do we blow through our day and miss opportunities to bless others? Do we just sit in the car like I did? I don't want to be that person.

Being around old people used to make me uncomfortable. For most of my life I didn't have grandparents so I didn't know how to relate. I have a different perspective now. I think the scripture in Proverbs encourages respect for the elderly in our society. I have seen it exhibited in other places. I hope to retain this as a value in a culture where it is not common practice.

Just Sheri, appreciative that I learned to respect the elderly while living overseas

culture shock: overwhelmed by choices

When moving, my employer gave us a re-entry packet. The document says:

Re-entry is the least anticipated type of stress. Instinctively, we feel that coming home should be the easy part of the assignment...However, you can still face a number of challenges during this stage...

True that, yo!

The document asks a series of questions for reflection to help process the re-entry process. I relate to many of them. However, I will share just one of them today.

Have you ever spent 20 minutes trying to choose a cereal at the grocery store?

I never thought about this before living overseas - but Americans are inundated with an enourmous amount of choices...constantly. The options are almost endless. Cereal is only one example. There are sugar cereals and non-sugar coated cereals. There are cereals with dried fruit and those without. Some with nuts and some without. Some are gluten free. Some are high in fiber or low in cholesterol. The list goes on and on and on. With all of these options it can be overwhelming to try and make a decision...there are just too many choices.

In most places we have lived in recent years our choices for something like cereal were severely limited. IF cereal were available it was usually unsweetened corn flakes. The choice was simple: yes or no to the corn flakes? Period. Usually it was no and I would opt for some variety of granola when available.

My specific struggles haven't been cereal...but I have had occassion where I was overwhelmed by choices.

I was going to bake apple muffins for the family. Kelsey and I went to the store to buy some ingredients. We arrive in the flour aisle and I pause. It wasn't just a simple choice of white or wheat. Oh no. There were like six different brands and each brand had three to four varieties. I was stumped, just standing there staring at options for flour and wondering why anyone needed so many different choices in flour. It was long enough for Kelsey to notice and ask if I needed help finding what I was looking for. I said, "I need help choosing." She literally closed her eyes and pointed...where her finger landed was the flour we bought - it was some organic, wheat variety of flour. I didn't care. I wanted to get out of the store ASAP.

Cooking Thanksgiving dinner, I had an added challenge (beyond my inexperience and ineptitude to cook large quantities of food) - Angela has dietary restrictions, one of them being no dairy. I called in for reinforcements, my sister Sara. She was a life-saver! While at a store she sent me the following message:

Sara: Hey I am at store and wanted to report a Toffutti product that is a substitute for cream cheese with no dairy. Also found soy whipped cream and coconut milk creamers.  There is always margerine also.  I am also finding vegan cheese alternative in cheddar and mozzarella.  No dairy either.  Did u know there is cheese made from almonds?  I am discovering a whole new world!

My response: Amazing! In Mozambique I was excited just to find any cheese...now the options (and varieties) are limitless. USA...the land of choices!

NOTE: From time to time I will document some of these re-entry challenges. So many of you have been with me on the journey for years and this is just a part of the experience. This is not shared to pass judgement, but rather give a new perspective on things that are common place for so many, but now unusual for me.

Just Sheri, struggling with culture shock in my homeland

sulfate is the answer...what was the question?

In an update to my vanity post, I have found the answer. Okay, I didn't actually find it. A nice Southern Belle who knows all about beauty products, tips and tricks steered me in the right direction. She told me to try a shampoo with sulfate as the ingredient.

I have a box of unpacked odds and ends from America. In the box is a small assortment of travel shampoos. I pulled them out and started reading the labels. I found the most remarkable product that was already in my home - Herbal Essence shampoo. It has restored what once was and I am incredibly grateful!

I should have known by their tag line:

take your hair all the way to luscious—all across the globe!

I have been so impressed with the results from simply switching shampoos that I am telling EVERYONE! At a recent going away party I received a compliment on how good my hair was looking - I actually had it down that day since it wasn't such a mess on my head. I said to this one lady that it was the shampoo I was using.

Another lady from a different part of the room said, "what shampoo are you using?"

I told them "Herbal Essence." It has worked wonders in this environment.

Before long I had a crowd of woman asking about it. I felt like a spokesperson.

One of the voices in the crowd said, "You should write them and tell them your story. Maybe they will give you free shampoo for promoting them." I like how she thinks, so I am posting it on my blog.

Dear Herbal Essence marketing, I know you monitor when your product name is used. If you find this blog post I would like to request some free product for being a walking advertisement for your tag line. We are about to be unemployed and your generosity would be appreciated. Even if you don't send anything. I expect to be a loyal customer because your product really worked. Somehow it overcame the harsh water conditions in Africa. Luscious locks are no longer among the sacrifices we are making to live here.

Is there a product that won you over because it delivered it's promise during a time of need?

Just Sheri, grateful for chemists in this season of Thanksgiving

The depths of my vanity

Once upon a time I had good hair. It was soft, shiny and would fall nicely. I could wash and go and it looked decent.

To be honest, I never really thought much about my hair. It was just on my head and did it's thing. I noticed a difference between a good and bad haircut, but then that was the end of my thought process about that topic.

Not anymore. I have become obsessed.

The days of not thinking about my hair have come to an end. I have invested hours trying to figure out how to regain the former glory that once was a top my head.

Since moving to Africa my hair has been on the decline. At first it was just stiff and generally dull. Then dull went to straight-up dry and brittle. I still have those days, but now on the days when it isn't dry and brittle, it looks as greasy as if I hadn't washed it for weeks. I wash my hair everyday. I use the same shampoo. The change baffles and frustrates me...

I have researched the problem on the internet and came to the conclusion that it is hard water that has caused this tragedy. The suggested solutions are to rub beer or lemon juice on my hair. I hate to admit it, but I tried it. It did stop the greasy look, but it only succeeded in causing more damage. I told a friend in Germany about my dilemma. She told me to stop it. I listened, but am still discontent.

My current strategy is to wash my hair with a bottle of filtered water. Yes, I am wasting a precious, life-giving resource for vanities sake. I admit it and I am not proud of this fact.

What has surprised me is how disturbed I am over my bad hair. It really bothers me - a LOT. I want my old hair back. I don't want to be disgusted anymore by the condition of my hair. I am learning something about myself. I am learning the depths of my vanity.

Lately, my mirror is providing a little glimpse in to some ugliness in my soul...

Just Sheri, attempting to overcome vanity

I'm back

Last night I returned to Maputo after traveling for over two weeks. Did you miss me?

I will begin regular posts again, soon.

How have you been? Any news in your lives while I was away?

Sheri

Deodorant. A luxury item?

One of the things we took for granted in our old life (the life in the developed world) is the accessiblilty to inexpensive, and sometimes free, deodorant (or other hygiene products). We have noticed the lack of it. I don't have to tell you how we noticed. Kenyon says sometimes the smell is so bad it makes his head hurt.

The first time I went to the store to buy deodorant in Maputo, I understood why it is rarely used. The cost is ridiculously expensive in comparision to what I am used to paying. I came home and told Kenyon the price. We agreed that at that cost, it would easily be considered a luxury item. If I had to choose between deodorant or food, my choice is clear, it would NOT be the roll-on anti-perpirant!

So, the next time you are at the store buying your roll-on, remember there are some places in this world that only the wealthy can afford such a luxury item. Be thankful for your blessings!