the adoption option

On our first date Kenyon said, "I plan to adopt. It's very important to me." Not exaclty appropriate first date conversation, but that's one of the things I love about my husband - no pretense...never, ever.

Adoption has been an option I've considered for a long time. I think I was 15 years old when I told my mom I wanted to adopt. I believe she told me that I might want to wait on that decision until I was older. In my work I see so many children who need a home. So many children who have been abandoned. On my first trip to India in 2004 there was a little girl who captured my heart, her name is Chandini. She was living at an orphanage. I was single, but always thought that someday, perhaps, I could bring her home with me. When I knew Kenyon and I were serious, I told him about Chandini. I introduced her to him when we went to India. He fell in love with her, too.

We wanted to adopt Chandini. It didn't work out. It broke our heart. We still have photos of Chandini on our fridge. I pray for her almost every day. We still love her.

The greatest gift...ever!

I have a good friend, Elaine. We have known each other for approximately 10 years. I love her dearly. We have so much history together. We don't need to go through long explanations, because we already know each others story - instead we are just catching up and sharing memories.

We worked together when Elaine was pregnant with her first child. I called her "my test case." She shared with me her highs and lows of pregnancy, her deepest secrets and fears. When her daughter was born, I was in the waiting room with the family. I felt like family. When her daughter was still very young it was discovered that she had a kidney problem and surgery was required. I walked through this experience with Elaine. I visited the hospital after surgery. Her daughter was hooked to an IV, very scared, and in pain. The only thing that could comfort her was her mother, my friend. It was a beautiful scene of love. My longings to become a mother became undeniable that day. I was 26 years old and in an unhappy marriage (this will come as a second surprise to some of you). I decided it would be a selfish choice to bring a child in to such a dysfunctional environment, it was one thing for me to live there (stay there) due to the commitment I had made, but I wouldn't bring a child in to it. As a result, I prevented pregnancy. In the end, I could not stay in the marriage. Elaine walked through that experience with me.

When Elaine became pregnant with her second child she gave me the best gift I've ever received - the best! She asked me to be in the delivery room with her and her husband. I got to witness a miracle from the front row seat. My job was to take photographs, I wasn't just there as an observer. After her son was born, the nurses took him to be weighed. I looked at my friend who had just been through so much pain in her delivery. She was looking at her son with an expression of pure love. He was just born and she loved him completely. I was moved to tears. I took a picture of that moment and that picture still makes me emotional. I instintually think of that day every February 8.

Elaine spent the entire day with me when I married Kenyon, was my photographer at the wedding, and our witness on the legal documentation. When we moved away from Kansas City Elaine and I had a tearful good-bye and she said, "I always thought I'd get to be there when you are pregnant." I had thought so, too.

That was three years ago, I am still not pregnant.

Getting Personal

On this blog, I have shared bits about my life - usually public events or some personal reflections related to literature or things I see through my work. This post is going to be more personal than normal. I have decided to make something public that I have kept private for many years. There is a select group that already know what I am about to say, for some, this may be surprising. I have hinted at it from time to time on this blog. What is it? I want a child. I want it more than I want anything else in this world. I want desperately to be a mother.

When I was younger and my professional ambitions were more pronounced, people often assumed I was more interested in a career than a family. I let them assume this because I didn't want to talk about my painful longings that went unmet. I haven't bothered to correct these assumptions...it is just easier that way, because I can't talk about it without tears. Truth be told, I would exchange income, title, and position in the professional world for the chance to be "mom." From time to time other professional women have told me similar stories of painful longings and the judgements that come when a woman is advancing in years, but hasn't had children yet. Be careful not to assume, sometimes circumstances are not by choice!

The remainder of this week I am going to address this issue from personal experience...

the wonders of Blackberry

When I arrived in Mozambique I was issued a Blackberry phone. I had been using a very basic cell phone in Cambodia and the minute I had a Blackberry in my hand it was like welcoming an old friend.  I had no idea I would need it to send an SOS just a few days later.

I've mentioned before that we are living in a guest room at the office. There are little quirks in our room, such as there is only hot water in the morning hours beginning around 3am. The shower head was so caked on with crud that only small streams of water trickled out - that is until Kenyon took his cleaning powers to it and now it runs beautifully! The door knob is broken from the inside. We discovered this the first night. Kenyon said it's fine, I started to get panicky - "what if there is a fire and we can't get out, what if I need a drink of water in the middle of the night and I don't want to wake you (toilet water is not an option), what if..."

He finally gave in and jimmied the lock and we now stick an old grocery store membership card in the door latch so it can be closed, but also easily opened from the inside.

Well, I was in the bathroom inside our bedroom during working hours. Kenyon knew I was in there because he had walked in on me and my presence surprised him. He jumped, but just seconds later he turns around closes the bathroom door and then walks out of our bedroom and closes the door. I can't get out. I consider causing a big scene by banging on the door and yelling - eventually someone will hear me, right? Then I realize I had my trusted companion with me - my Blackberry.

I send Kenyon an email - "you locked me in the room, come open the door" No reply. I wait a few more minutes, still no reply of any sort. I know he is sitting in front of his computer, he must not be logged in to his email.

Then I realize that Lily is also downstairs and she is ALWAYS connected. I send her an email with a similar message. Within a few minutes I hear her laughing downstairs. Then footsteps. Then freedom. Hallelujah, freedom! Thank you, Lily, for rescuing me.

I am so happy to be reunited with my trusted friend; the Blackberry. What a wonderfully useful tool!

NOTE: Lily said I should put this story on my blog. So I did. I hope you had a good laugh at my expense.

Mango cobbler

I recently tried out a recipe that I would never have conceived of in America. It is ripe mango season here. To me that is a very good thing because I like ripe mangos. I have discovered all kinds of ways to eat (and serve) a mango. The staff gave me a lesson on cutting mangos at the office one day. It caused many laughs (mostly for them) as I am quite an amateur. They taught me two methods: 1) there is the easy cut method with the peel still on, scoring it in to cubes and eating it right off the skin (my preferred method because it is fast and easy). 2) the tradition peel, cut and slice method which is how mango is usually served in restaurants. I have watched ladies at stalls do this in a blink of an eye. They obviously have more mango slicing experience than I.

A friend of mine who recently moved here from the US showed me a tool I never knew existed - it is a mango corer slicer (similar to the ones you can find for apples, but made specifically for mangos). Who knew? I wish I had one. Maybe on home leave I will hunt one down as there will be a mango season in Mozambique.

Mangos are the talk of the town. At a breakfast with girlfriends last weekend we were talking about the yummy mangos, we went through a list of things to do with a mango. One girl mentioned it was like Bubba on Forrest Gump listing the ways to prepare a shrimp...we had sliced mango, mango sorbet, mango salsa, grilled mango, mango smoothies, mango bread, mango pudding, the list went on and on, then I told them about this recipe I was going to try - a mango cobbler. Hmmm, we all wondered aloud what that would be like.

The conversation inspired me to try that evening. My other motivation is that Kenyon has tried one piece of a not quite ripe yet mango and decided he doesn't like them. I wanted to present ripe mango in a way he might reconsider his opinion. I shared this dilemma with a colleague and she shared a recipe with me that her mom used to make when she was growing up in the Phillipines. She told me the recipe, I did the following with the mangos, then followed an online recipe for the cobbler (I'd share it with you, but it is currently in a box on it's way to Africa).

Fruit filling:
3 cups ripe mango (approximately 4 medium sized)
1/2 cup water
1 cup sugar

Bring water to a boil. Add sugar then the fruit. Boil for a few minutes to let the ingredients mix.

Kenyon will still tell you that he isn't a fan of mangos, that he doesn't like the fruit at all, but that night he ate half a pan of cobbler!

NOTE: if you'd like the official recipe, let me know and I will post it once our boxes arrive at our destination, or you can email me and I will send it to you.

dark nail polish? an unscientific poll

Recently, I painted my nails a very fashionable dark color (similar to the picture on the left). The color I picked was less black and more of a deep purple. Kenyon obviously didn't like it. How do I know? He commented on it almost everyday with a crinkle in his nose saying, "why did you paint your nails black?"

S: because I like the color.

K: a very ugly face demonstrating he obviously did not agree.

After a couple of weeks of this, when the polish began to chip, I painted my toe nails a bright pink color. Kenyon's immediate response was, "you painted your toe nails!" This time it was more of an approving tone in his voice.

A colleague commented on my bright pink toes a few days later. I told her it was obviously Kenyon's preference, I had previously had them a dark color and he didn't like it, he commented on it every day. She showed me her light pink toes and said she painted two colors. One was a dark color, which is very much in fashion, and the pink color she was sporting that day. She said her husband had nothing good to say about the dark color.

So, this is an unscientific poll, what do you think of dark nail polish? Like or dislike?

abounding kindness

My mom once told me the best marriage advice she ever received was to "out do one another with kindness." I think love is best exhibited through kindness. I say this realizing how hard it is to practice - in reality, it takes a tremendous amount of energy and intentionality to live this out.

Acts of kindness do not come naturally to me. A few years ago, when I was early in my humanitarian aid career I took my dad with me to India. We spent the time with orphans, widows, families ravaged by AIDS or poverty, and with people groups that are discriminated against simply because of the family they were born in to (caste system in India, but, every civilization has their prejudices). I spent a lot of time playing with kids, holding the hands of women and crying with them, and generally trying to figure out what I could possibly do to help. At the end of one of these days my dad said with tears in his eyes, "when you were younger, I would have never imagined you doing this kind of work." We both knew what he meant. I started off life very ambitious and focused on what I could get out of situations. I'd been hurt deeply and my heart had grown a hard protective barrier, it was cold, but not dead. Over the years, God has worked a miracle on me. He healed hurts, he restored hope, he inspired me to share this love with others in need. I am still ambitious, but now I try to pursue eternal causes rather than selfish ones.

My inspiration scripture for this year is, Proverbs 14:31. It says:

Whoever is kind to the needy honors God.

I want to do both these things - be kind to the needy and honor God. I believe the definition of needy is broad. Yes, it includes those suffering in poverty or difficult circumstances. But, we all need attention. We all need someone to listen. We need kindness.

Mark Twain has a quote about kindness being a universal language - "kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see." I think kindness is key to help tear down cultural barriers, which is important since I now live in a foreign country where I don't speak the language and make errors in custom and communication daily.

Since I believe in authenticity, I will also be practicing this at home. It is my intention that Kenyon, also, be the recipient of abounding kindness.

What is your new year's resolution or theme for 2010?

reflections: the year of greater love

If you've been following this blog for a while, you know by now that I don't make new year's resolutions. Rather, I have a theme for each new year. The theme really functions more as a developmental plan for my life. It includes spiritual, relational and physical goals. I always choose a fruit of the spirit I'd like to develop further to (hopefully) become part of my character, my being. 2009 was the year of Greater Love. Here are a few thoughts on what I learned:

• Love is the only force on earth I know of that is truly powerful enough to change the world - one person at a time. It has changed my life and I have watched it change many others.
• Love is not a commodity to be held tightly and locked away. It is most valuable when shared and given freely to others. I feel love most when I am giving.
• True love requires sacrifice.
• We use this word often in our world, but we don't often experience or encounter true love. When we do encounter it, the experience feeds our soul.
• Love is shown by being there, present, in the moments of life that matter.
• Simply put, love, true love, is not about us and what we get or how we benefit. It is focused on others and how we can serve them or meet their needs.

Because it is now January and I am coming to the end of the year of greater love, does this mean that I have it all figured out? Not even close. But, I do think I accomplished my goal of developing deeper, lasting love in my life. This quality is important both for my personal relationships, but also to be effective in my profession.

Come back tomorrow to find out the theme for 2010. Do you have any guesses on what it might be?

iBaked

Kenyon loves apple desserts. His favorite is made by Sue Jones. She makes an apple crumble pie that is yummy. She gave me the recipe and I've yet to try it. However, I did look up the recipe for apple crisp online recently thinking that might be a bit easier since it is sans the pie crust.

There is a kind of apple in Cambodia that is absolutely fabulous. It has become one of my favorite snacks. I don't know what type of apple it is, but the skin is yellow and red. What's inside is soooo tasty...it's a good sweet fix when I am craving sugar.

Here is the result of my first attempt at apple crisp.

Kenyon loved it. He loved it so much I've made three in less than a month and while I was gone he attempted to make one on his own. He didn't like his own as well as mine, he couldn't get the crisp right. That is the hardest part here. Why? Because we don't have a mixer. The recipe calls for mixing in cold butter. Doing that by hand is grueling. I definitely work up a sweat!

I read an article recently that housewives of the 50's stayed in shape through their housework. It was all manual - few kitchenaid's, dishwashers or clothes washing machines. After making apple crisp with nothing but the strength in my arm and a hand whisk; I believe the author. I burn some serious calories mixing up this sweet treat, which I guess then justifies my indulging in eating it later.

iCooked

I've received a few inquiries lately about what I've been making for dinner. Here is a sampling of some of my latest attempts.

• Blueberry muffins: I found a Betty Crocker muffin packet at the store one day. You know the kind I am talking about that says on the front "just add water." The hardest part of this meal was our oven. We have a gas oven - which I prefer when it comes to the stove top, however it is rather difficult to bake things here. We may now have a thermometer for taking our temperature when we are sick, but I lack an oven thermometer. So, I turn the oven on high to warm it up, then turn it down to what I think might be 400 or 350 degrees. I have to check things in the oven often because it gets scorching hot and I am usually hoping not to burn whatever I am baking. The muffins came out perfectly and they were delicious. How could they not be? They have corn syrup in the ingredients!
• Cheeseburgers: ground meat (not sure what kind it is so I am not going to call it beef) is available, but the quality is questionable. I thought it wouldn't be too bad with some seasoning and melted cheese on top. I was wrong. It wasn't good. We did enjoy the condiments - I had found some frozen tater tots in the frozen food section and also some pork and beans in the canned vegetables aisle - those ended up being dinner for the night.
• Huevos Rancheros: we have eggs (you can choose either chicken or duck eggs - I stick with chicken), I had found some pinto beans one day (I had looked for these before and found nothing. they must have had a shipment in, so I stocked up). We have access to ground chili peppers - actually all sorts of chili's are available here, with the exception of my favorite Hatch variety from home. I made a paste out of it using my Uncle Orlando's famous chili recipe that my Aunt Nita sent me many moons ago. I also fried up some potatoes. A local restaurant sells tortillas - the worst part of that meal was actually the quality of the tortillas. I had a friend over for dinner that night, she said it was a good meal. It didn't meet my standards, but I will try again.
• Lasagna: I had to borrow a pan from my neighbor upstairs to cook this because I didn't have a good sized baking dish. Cambodians cook using fire or two counter top burners - not ovens. Since ovens are really only used by the foreigners living here it is nearly impossible to find baking dishes. Everything available has been imported. I knew this before I came and packed baking dishes, like the muffin pan, as a result. I just didn't think about what I would need to make lasagna. Good thing I have good neighbors!
• Rice Krispie treats: we had invited some people over for game night at our place on Saturday. We had planned to order pizza from our favorite pizza place just up the road. Being the Suzy Homemaker that I am, I wanted to serve our guests a sweet treat. While trolling the aisles at the grocery I saw rice krispies and decided these would be my treat. Luckily, I was able to locate marshmallows. My favorite rice krispie treats have butterscotch chips in them, I hunted for those but was unsuccessful. Just so you know, these were probably the most expensive rice krispie treats I've ever made. Why is that? Cereal items are imported and eaten exclusively by foreigners, they figure every foreigner is rich, so they charge a ridiculous amount for a box of cereal. They range anywhere from $4-12. Marshmallows are another imported item. I think I paid close to $5 for the bag of fluffy sugar. It was worth it to have a little taste of home. I got to serve this treat to some people who are not from the US - they were game for trying something new and I think they may have even liked it. I know Kenyon did.

I hope you enjoyed this installment of iCooked. If you have any good recipe's, please pass them on. I'd be happy to experiement and see if I can track down the ingredients.

Marital Communication 201: thankful

The other night after dinner as we were lying in bed Kenyon was reflecting on all the conveniences we have in America that we take for granted...a dishwasher, a clothes dryer, a garbage disposal, reliable garbage pick-up...the list was long and growing.

S: When we go back to the States you won't take those gifts for granted anymore.

K: Technology has definitely made our lives easier.

S: We were afforded those gifts simply because of where we were born, which we had no hand in choosing. We could have been born anywhere.

K: That's kind of unbelievable.

I agree. I still cannot wrap my head around why the geographic location of your birth or the family you were born in to has such an effect on an individual life path. There are undeserved privileges or challenges based on that simple fact. In referring to someone who was given a lot of wealth and opportunity in their lives by the family they were born in to, my friend Angela once said, "it's easy to hit a home run when you are born on third base." Things that make you go hmmm...

Are you thankful for the privileges and conveniences that you have been given?

Our Town

KC is the place where Kenyon and I met. KC is where we share many fond memories. Many of our friends are here. His family is here. We love this town. It has changed quite a bit since we moved, but it just means there is more to love. Here are a few pictures of our town from our recent visit.

the addition of the Power and Light District to KC is VERY nice. I wish it had been around when we lived here. have you visited? what is your opinion?

Ewwwww!

Kenyon and I recently rented a U-haul truck and drove the remainder of our furniture to Virginia. We picked up a passenger along the way. In the rural communities of Virginia among the peaceful farmland when we were nearly at our destination I heard a very loud THUMP. I was looking around to figure out what could have made that sound, and to my dismay I saw a large insect with it's head lodged in the windshield wiper. It was looking right at me. At first I thought it must be dead based on the force of the impact and the position it was currently placed, then it's little bug legs started to move and I knew it was alive. I asked Kenyon to stop and free the passenger we had picked up since it was still alive. Instead, Kenyon decided to turn on the windshield wipers to see if he could set him free that way. That strategy didn't work and I imagine the only thing it succeeded in doing is to make our passenger dizzy. Kenyon wouldn't stop driving until we reached our destination and I had those little bug eyes staring at me the whole way - very unnerving! When we arrived we were quickly distracted by unloading the vehicle before nightfall. In the morning we needed to return the truck to the rental place so we loaded up and that is when I saw the bug eyes again and was reminded of our passenger. By this time the life had been drained out of him and little bees were swarming him, though I don't know enough about nature to understand why bees would be attracted to our passenger. When we reached the rental place I took a photo. What a way to go!

This post is in memory of the passenger we picked up on the road during our move. That isn't a super close-up shot, it really was that large. What is it? If you know, do share, because inquiring minds want to know...

Ranch dressing dry mix

I have a very supportive husband. Not many men would put up with the kind of travel schedule he has endured over the years. Not many men would be willing to move to the other side of the world to a place they have never seen in order to follow their wife's career. My man has and is doing these things.

Kenyon loves his ranch dressing. He loves it on pizza, spaghetti, sandwiches, even with nachos. I figure he can eat anything (even loads of Cambodian food) if he has ranch dressing. So, I picked up about 20 packets of dry ranch mix just in case it isn't available in our new locale. I don't know who invented these things and I'm sure this wasn't their intended purpose at the time, but I am grateful that such an item is available. If you ever come to visit, bring us some candy (skittles, resees pieces or crack sticks) and bring Kenyon some dry ranch mix. It's things like this that make a foreigner feel at home anywhere in the world.

What food item would you crave if you were away from home for an extended period?

What do missionaries look like?

When I think of missionaries, I think of the old people (at least that is how they seemed to me) who would come to my church with their slide shows and share stories of their work. I think of going to the jungles of some place I've never heard of and encountering cannibals. I think of women dressed in frumpy dresses with their hair pulled back, who are seen but not heard.

Kenyon and I have signed a two year contract to go to the mission field in Cambodia. We will be living in a city, the capital city of the country. I have no intention of becoming the stereotypical missionary woman, I don't think I'm even capable of it if I tried...I inherited too much of a rebellious spirit to be so docile or sweet.

I still struggle with calling myself a missionary. Why? I guess somewhere deep inside I think that missionaries should feel comfortable standing in front of crowds sharing the gospel, which I don't. I'd rather just share with a few close friends how a relationship with the living God changed my life. I guess I assume that missionaries should have it all together - the perfect family, the perfect life story, the perfect marriage, and be perfect people. I don't have those things, my family, life story, marriage and me are far from perfect. I've been thinking a lot about this concept of what a missionary looks like. What I've discovered is...missionaries look a lot like us - ordinary people.

I am learning that God is in the business of using unlikely, ordinary people to do his work. All we need is a willing heart. We were willing, and now we are going to the other side of the earth (literally). Do I have it all figured out? Not even close! But, in humble submission I will follow the One who is greater than me.

What do you think missionaries look like?

Happy Anniversary, numero dos

Today, Kenyon and I have been married two years. They sure have gone fast! It has been a good two years. I am in Africa currently so we could not celebrate today, but he gave me the sweetest card, hidden with a thoughtful gift where he knew I would find it while packing. What a man! The beauty of having two weddings is you can pick when to celebrate. So, for our second wedding anniversary we will celebrate on the date of our second wedding (mostly because I will be in the country then). We did get a chance to do our top 10 list for the year and here it is:

10. Kenyon got an International drivers licence and Sheri got her second, second passport (I have two passports and one recently expired)

9. Kenyon being deployed for disaster response to Haiti

8. singing songs and playing games with the kids in Lesotho

7. our photo session on the beach in the outer banks of North Carolina

6. the Whincop's coming to visit and our river rafting trip with them

5. attending Reverend Billy's 90th birthday party at the most beautiful hotel Kenyon and I have ever stayed at, it was like a real life castle in West Virginia

4. Kenyon completed his EMT basic course and become a certified EMT (Emergency Medical Technician), he then completed the EMT intermediate and began clinical rotations, he completed disaster response training and became certified in International Trauma Life Support (ITLS) - my husband found a field of work that interests him!

3. speaking at the church in Kansas City and having our first visit with family and friends there since or move to North Carolina

2. eating dinner at Nelson Mandela square in Johannesburg, South Africa and Kenyon eating the largest plate of ribs we've ever seen

The number one memory from our second year of marriage is...wait for it!

1. the cruise we took to see my brother and Kenyon getting his haircut in Jamaica

just read: your man is wonderful...

One day I was in a hotel room somewhere (honestly, I can't remember my location) and I heard an author talking about her new book. It was about building a lasting and loving marriage relationship. Kenyon and I have the best relationship I've ever been a part of, but I want to keep it strong for a lifetime so I'm always interested in learning how to do that.

the book is called - your man is wonderful: how to appreciate your partner, romance your differences and love the one you've got. You can read about it here. the author states:

Here's a secret about your man: He wants to please you. He wants to be your night in shining armor. He wants to see the smile on your face that tells him he's worthy. He wants to be your wonderful man.

I asked Kenyon, the man whose opinion matters in my life, if this statement was true of men. He said, "yes, absolutely." Really? I imagine every woman wants those things too.

So, what does Dr. Nelson recommend to build that kind of relationship? Appreciation, plain and simple. Sounds easy, but anyone whose been married for any amount of time knows it is not. I try not to nag, but I am certainly guilty of taking my husband's good deeds for granted. Since reading the book, I've been trying to be more appreciative of all the good Kenyon brings to my life.

I recommend this book to anyone who wants a strong, satisfying marriage relationship.

Loyalty?

The American Heritage Dictionary defines loyalty as: A feeling or attitude of devoted attachment and affection.

Dictionary.com defines loyalty as: faithfulness to commitments or obligations.

I've been struggling with my loyalties. I love my job. I feel called to do this work. God made it very clear four years before I took this job that one day I would be working with women, children and HIV. I feel like this opportunity was the culmination of that promise.

However, my job requires me to travel nearly 2/3 of every year. It has become increasingly clear that I am a visitor in my home. I can't find anything and must ask Kenyon where the simplest items are located. When I put something in a place that makes sense to me, or leave something out, I am quickly reminded by my husband that things are out of their place. He isn't trying to be mean or rude. I am gone so much that I am a visitor in my home. That is not good.

In the 21 months we have lived in North Carolina my husband has been unemployed. If it hadn't of been for the economic collapse and the perpetual extension of unemployment benefits due to endless stimulus packages, he would not have an income. This fact is through no fault of his own. There are three major employers in our small town; two are in a hiring freeze and the other has been laying people off. Add to that race issues (there was an application that actually asked him to check a box if he's "negro" - what decade are they living in?!) and the employment situation feels hopeless. We miss the city life. The longer we are here, the more clear it is that we are not southern, mountain folk.

Next week Kenyon and I will be married two years. Two years ago I stood before God, friends and family and made a commitment to him - not to a job, not to an organization. My loyalty should be to him, that is what convention says, that is what logic says; but, that doesn't make the choice easy.

Two weeks ago I told my team that I will be leaving unless leadership allows me do my job from a city where my husband can pursue his own dreams. We told our landlord that we are moving out at the end of this lease (July 31). We don't know where we are going. I am still in negotiations with leadership in regard to options for the future. If something doesn't work out soon, we will go, trusting God that my calling is bigger than a single organization and that he will honor my commitment to my family.

My devotion, attachment, affection, commitment and obligation is to my family - which right now consists of my husband. This has not been an easy choice for me. In the end, I am (potentially) giving up something I love (my job) for something I love greater (my husband).

Please be praying for us as we explore next steps in a bad economy. This is a step of faith for us. A step based on principle. I am trusting that God will honor our obedience.

My husband: the pilot?

When Kenyon and I met he had never been on an airplane to go anywhere. I thought that was God's way of showing me who's in charge...and it's not me! If I'd of done things my way then I would have found someone in a life partner who loved travel as much as me when we met. Knowing how much I travel you might agree with that expectation, but God had other plans. What I ended up with is a perfect life partner. He may not have been on an airplane before, but now he loves International travel and has embraced this unconventional lifestyle.

A few weeks ago I came home and Kenyon told me that he had looked in to getting his pilot's license. He had found an instructor in town, spoke with the instructor and knew how much it was going to cost to complete the program. I was impressed by the initiative. This week I came home and he had done even more research about the requirements for pilots. One requirement is a 3 hour physical exam and he already scheduled it with a doctor.

My response is one of shock and awe, I know he is capable of doing anything he puts his mind to, what is surprising is that he put his mind to this. Funny how much things can change in a few years. Whether this becomes reality or not, Kenyon has gone through a transformation from no planes to considering flying planes!

In case you are wondering, I am soooo jealous! I support his efforts, but this is something I've wanted to do myself for years...at least it will be in the family!

Weddings 101

A few weeks ago Kenyon and I attended the wedding of some friends, Alex and Kenisha. Actually, they were already married, this was a vow renewal ceremony. It was a beautiful ceremony and we had a great time at the reception. The reception included dancing - which I absolutely love to do. Some favorites are the cha-cha slide and the cupid shuffle.

Fastforward a couple of weeks and we are invited to another wedding. This time it is wedding of one of my colleagues. A converstion ensued with Kenyon that made me laugh hysterically and also pointed out to me the influence culture has on weddings.

Case One: Cupid Shuffle
This dance is often seen where black people gather, do a search on youtube if you think I'm lying. Personally, I love it and if I'm in the room where the song is playing you will find me on the dance floor. Here is one example I found online so you know what I'm talking about.


Case Two: La Marcha
This is a tradition at latin weddings. It gets everybody up, out of their chairs and on the dance floor - which is where most of us want to be anyway, it just announces that it's time for the dancing to begin because we expect it anyway. I did a search on youtube and couldn't find a good marcha video, so here are some pictures from my friend Deann's wedding and our own wedding reception in New Mexico.

Case Three: Chicken Dance
I have never attended a black or Hispanic wedding where the chicken dance was present. However, it is a regual favorite at white weddings. In fact, we were talking about this again at work and someone said, they always have the chicken dance at weddings. I replied, "not always." Here is an example I found online for the chicken dance in case you aren't familiar with it.

After these recent discussions, what I'm learning is that what dance you do at weddings may be a product of your culture.

Kenyon asked if my colleague will be playing Jamie Foxx's "Blame it" song at her wedding reception. I seriously doubt it, her culture dictates that she is most likely to have a string quartet or four piece jazz band for background music to the conversation. But, maybe she will surprise me?

What kind of music would you expect to hear at a wedding? One from the above selection, or maybe something else?