memories are the BEST gifts

The Hubs and I spent this Christmas in Oklahoma City with my brother, sister-in-law, and adopted dad. I figure the last time we had Christmas together was somewhere around the turn of the century.

 

One of my great joys in being a recovering expat is that I have been able to spend more time with these precious people. In recent years we have met up in South Carolina, Colorado, New Mexico and Florida. We took a Carribbean cruise. They have come to visit us in Virginia and we celebrated milestones.

 

This year they gave me an excellent Christmas gift. What's that? The gift of shared memories. My literal gift was a ticket to a Thunder game (Yes, Oklahoma City has an NBA team). But, we shared meals and laughs. We had dance parties until the wee hours of the morning. We came up with creative ways to cook meals, as the kitchen in their new home is under construction. We made memories...together. To me, those moments are priceless and make up a meaningful life.

Sure, there are many times I still long for the former days when I globe trotted with a purpose. However, that life comes with incredible sacrifice - one of those sacrifices was time spent away from loved ones.

I consider moments spent with these people a gift. And, while I am already missing them greatly as I am on the east coast and they are in the mid-west of the United States, I cherish our times together.

Wishing each of you a holiday season full of wonderful memories with loved ones.

just Sheri, making new memories

2013 theme: siempre fiel (always faithful)

Let love and faithfulness never leave you;

bind them around your neck,

write them on the tablet of your heart. Proverbs 3:3

Image: Zenia via Flickr

If you are a faithful reader of this blog, then you know that I gave up New Year's resolutions many moons ago. However, I do use the start of a new year as a time of reflection. In the place of a resolution, I create a personal development plan. There are various sections: physical, relational, intellectual, and spiritual. I write it down and check back in multiple times throughout the year. This approach has produced far superior results to a single resolution. 

I borrowed the idea from a Pastor I once heard at an inner-city church in Kansas City; I made it my own by giving each development plan a theme, usually centered around a fruit of the spirit. This "fruit" is a character quality I want to grow in my life.

This year's theme: faithfulness in small things

There was a time when I had a BIG dream. Then I was afforded the opportunity to live my calling. For some reason unknown to me, these things were stripped away - leaving me with questions about identity and the future. I made a choice to press on, but the struggle with contentment and a lack of a defined purpose remained.

I have begged and pleaded for a renewed sense of purpose, for some kind of instruction about what is next. I have received the same answer for an extended period of time:

I Peter 4:2 From now on, then, you must live the rest of your earthly lives controlled by God's will and not by human desires.

For this period of time I have been trying to rise each day to receive my marching orders, then carry them out. However, I don't rise each day anticipating or listening for marching orders. Even when I receive them, I don't always carry them out.

Enter the theme of faithfulness...It is my aim to listen, anticipate, and act. No task is too small. Negotiating is unproductive. Delaying reduces the potential impact. Act immediately. When I have done this, the results have been staggering. I have been used as a tool of encouragement or provision to meet needs I was not told about directly. While I may not have know, God knew. As a result of my obedience, these folks felt loved by our Heavenly Father because He was the one they were crying out to for direction or relief.

This year, I am making a conscious effort to be faithful in the small things...things that could be interpreted as insignificant, but matter a LOT to those who are discouraged or hurting.

just Sheri, hoping to be transformed in to a faithful servant

In honor of Black History Month: Emancipation Eve

This year marks the 150th year of Emancipation. The Hubs and I had a unique (and educational) new year's. We drove in to the city and participated in Emancipation Eve activities. The National Park rangers had a full night of activities planned. They offered lectures full of fascinating, unpublished history.

One of the presentations involved actors dressed in period costume. It would be an understatement to say they brought history to life!

The most memorable moments for me was sitting on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, not far from the spot where Martin Luther King Jr stood to give his famous "I have a dream speech," and singing old negro spirituals with a diverse group of strangers. It was a powerful moment of voices united, proclaiming freedom from oppression.

Since we never know how long we are going to stay in a place - we want to be sure to take advantage of our proximity to the nation's capital and memorable events such as this...especially when they are free.

just Sheri, inspired by those who fought for freedom

Valentine's Elf: variation on a theme

There is a young woman that I meet with weekly. She is in college. She and her boyfriend are planning their future together. She has lots of dreams in her heart that she'd like to make reality. During one of our meetings we were talking about the importance of kindness. I shared with her what my mentor Premdas shared with me...Acts 1:1. We are charged to follow Jesus example by doing and teaching - in that order.

She had no idea about my annual Valentine's tradition of delivering roses. But she told me she had been thinking about Acts 1:1 and decided to buy 75 roses to deliver to her neighbors on Valentine's Day. On this day, I became her apprentice. V-day morning I showed up at her house. We made a small card for each one and delivered them to homes in her neighborhood. While most people weren't home, we hoped it would bless the residents when they arrived.

Following her lead, I bought some roses and gave them to my neighbors that evening when I got off work. I received a BIG hug in response from my next door neighbor who is a single mom from Ghana.

I love this tradition and have kept it alive for many years, in various forms, depending on where we lived and what was available to me. This year, frankly, I was discouraged and wondering if any of my efforts to make the world a better place have been worth it or if I was just wasting time and energy. I had no intentions of keeping my tradition this year. I just didn't have the heart...that was until I heard Jo's plan. Her plan became my plan. Instead of one there were two of us conspiring to bless others. It was a lot of fun and was the highlight of my week.

Thank you, Johanna, for encouraging my heart and carrying on the Valentine's Elf tradition...without even knowing the tradition existed.

just Sheri, a reinvigorated Valentine's Elf

Easter memories...

To celebrate Easter this year, I didn't fill hundreds of eggs with candy or prizes and hide them around my yard. Though, I have done that in the past.

I didn't have the privilege of spending time with family, because I still live too far away.

Image: by rduris via openclipart

Instead of these traditional holiday events, I opted for a variation on the theme. I was part of a group of individuals who put together baskets for the people who are hidden in plain sight because they live in the woods. We went to an area I frequent often because it is next to my favorite grocery. None of us had been past the paved road and in to the trees.

Behind branches and leaves is what could best be described as a neighborhood.  Folks were doing yard work, or sitting in Adirondack chairs in the sun. Some had dogs as pets. Some are known for their practical inventions. Others described their prior evening sharing tea with a friend in front of the television. All would be labeled homeless because they live in tents in the woods on "borrowed" land.

Our baskets consisted of goodies like candy, homemade cookies, Wal-mart gift cards, warm socks and bug repellent.

There is a moment I will never forget. A moment I stole a glance at that was likely not meant for public consumption. One of the couples thanked us for our holiday gift. As we were on our way out, he opened his zip-lock bag of cookies and took a bite, then broke off a piece and fed it to her. It was a tender moment. This couple may have been discarded by a "civilized society," but for that moment I witnessed caring and sharing. It is the gift that I took with me when we walked back out to the hustle and bustle of the city.

just Sheri, touched by the tender side of humanity

2012 Theme: Perfect Peace

As faithful readers may remember, I don't do New Year's Resolutions; instead, I choose a theme for each year.  The theme for this year was selected some time around Thanksgiving 2011. I knew that in 2012 I would be focusing on Peace. I couldn't have predicted the storms that would come.

I don't mean this kind of peace.

To me, this symbol of peace often represents the intent or desire to have an absence of trouble or conflict. In my mind it is coupled with the saying, "can't we all just get along."

Since that does not seem to be my reality I am looking for a different kind of peace - a greater peace. Peace that is found not the absence of trouble or conflict - but in the midst of such things. This kind of peace is WAY beyond myself, it is the kind of peace I believe only comes from God.

My guiding scripture is Isaiah 26:3,4:


You [God] keep him [or her] in perfect peace
whose mind is stayed on you,
because he trusts in you. 
Trust in the Lord forever,

for the Lord God is an everlasting rock.


I don't know if I will achieve perfect peace by year's end, but I am going to give it a go. The worst that can happen is I will be better off tomorrow than I am today. So, I will do my best to maintain focus and trust God - He is my firm foundation and solid rock in the midst of life's storms.


just Sheri, a peace-seeker

Christmas Day

On Christmas Day, Kenyon and I hung out with the Senavanh clan.

We ate excellent food.

We watched young ones enjoy themselves.

 Santa made an appearance to hand out the gifts.

Even some big kids received gifts from Santa.

just Sheri, getting caught up from the hectic holidays

Christmas Eve in the District

On Christmas Eve I desperately wanted to get outside. If I had been with my family in New Mexico we would have been walking downtown Santa Fe. So, I thought, "why not start a new tradition?" I convinced Kenyon to join me on this adventure by promising that we would visit the Martin Luther King, Jr monument - which neither of us had seen.

This ended up being a wonderful suggestion...if I do say so myself. The night wasn't too cold. There were only a select few with the same idea. So, there was ample parking and no crowds - a rarity indeed. However, the Park Rangers were on duty and happy to talk to anyone who happened by their post. It was like having a private tour of some of our national treasures. Fabulous!

We walked by the Washington Monument on our way to our first destination. In case you didn't know, the iconic monument sustained damage during the recent earthquake. It is currently marked off with yellow tape as they work on repairs. The cracks are visible from the street.

Stop one: Lincoln Memorial. A must see on any sight-seeing visit to the District...and one of my favorite stops no matter how many times I've seen it.

Due to the lack of crowds, I saw something I have never seen before. Carved in the stone on the steps of the Lincoln memorial is a message commemorating MLK's most memorable speeches. Sort of an X marks the spot. We stood on that spot and looked out over the reflection pool (under construction) to the Washington monument beyond and imagined the crowds of people who came to hear those inspiring words.

It was a perfect lead-in to our next stop, the newest memorial in the District and the only commemorating something besides war and someone besides a president, the Martin Luther King, Jr memorial. The Park Ranger at this stop had flyers about the memorial and was happy to answer my many questions.

Kenyon posed for a picture with this great man looking over his shoulder. All around the edges are MLK's inspiring words. We read the quotes aloud...it wasn't like we were disturbing any one else. When we finished reading the quote about the character of a man, Kenyon said, "that just gave me chills."

Then we made our way toward the White House - though the Obama's were visiting a warmer climate (Hawaii) at the time. Just across the street is green space called "President's Park." This is the only place the entire night we encountered a crowd.

In President's Park stands the national tree. I am told the tree lighting ceremony is fun. Perhaps we will participate in that next year? For now, it was nice to see the tree lit up with 50 trees surrounding it - one for each U.S. state.

just Sheri, establishing new traditions

Chirstmas Ornament Exchange party

When I lived in Kansas my friend Elaine held an ornament exchange party every year in December. She did this for a decade. Each year it grew bigger and bigger and bigger. After year 10 she stopped hosting the party. I loved the party. And I loved pulling out the ornaments each year and remembering the party. So, I decided to host one in our new town.

For those of you who are asking, "what is an ornament exchange party?" Let me explain. First, invite some friends. New friends are ALWAYS welcome.

Second, each person brings a wrapped ornament for the exchange. Numbers matching the number of people in attendance are put in a bowl and drawn to determine gift selection order. Then presents are opened.

This one was a hit...and I am told made it's way back to the nation of Liberia as a souvenir. 

My student, and now my friend Vy, was also present. She met her learning goals so I am no longer her tutor, but we agreed to stay friends.

 This was the night I became discontent with our little apartment. Why? I had to severely limit the guest list beyond what I wanted to...and we still didn't have space or seats for those who came. Notice the large number of folks sitting on the floor. I plan to remedy that problem in the near future...more on that soon.

just Sheri, (re)establishing traditions

Christmas lighting

The girls and I did some other fun stuff in honor of the holiday season.

One night we made a trek (in rush hour traffic) to Baltimore, MD for the lighting of the Washington Monument. This is not the iconic (and now earthquake damaged) Washington Monument in DC, but the monument in Baltimore. The event is well attended and festive, with fireworks and all!

just Sheri, still exploring

community dinner before Thanksgiving

There are a couple of beautiful young ladies that I get the pleasure of hanging with from time-to-time. These are Phim's girls. Just before Thanksgiving the church I attend hosted a community dinner for those in need. I invited the girls to join me and they eagerly participated.

Here they are in the food serving line.

In addition to food, there were fun things (intended for kids) - face painting, balloon shapes, etc. This is one of the guys who lives in the woods. I've visited his camping spot. Here he is smiling, posing with his balloon. This was my favorite memory from that night. I am glad he willingly let me photograph him. Just a little bit of joy before he returns to the cold outdoors.

just Sheri, blessed by the smiles of others

Thanksgiving 2011

For the Thanksgiving holiday this year I did not have to cook a turkey - for that I am thankful! Kenyon was on-duty at the hospital and he and the other nurses were having a feast. He requested enchiladas, that was an easy request to fill. When the enchiladas were done, I got in the car and drove to Chesapeake Bay to meet up with the Williams family. They had won time at a waterfront property in a silent auction, I benefited from their charity.

I had never been to Chesapeake Bay before, though the name was familiar. What was amazing to me is how close it is to where we live, but how it felt like it was worlds away. A true retreat.

Angela and her sister-in-law Karen had prepared a feast...and beautified the table with clippings from outside.

I got to hang with young people that I don't get to see as much as I'd like.

I am thankful for a Thanksgiving with a family I love and for the experiences they have, and continue to, share with me.

just Sheri, blessed by friendship

in absentia

Maybe you've been wondering where I have been recently. Not many original blog posts in recent months, then suddenly none at all.

What happened? A LOT.

The best way to describe the events of recent months is mourning...I have been in mourning. In ancient times I would have been dressed in sackcloth and covered in ashes. In our modern times, I woke-up each morning. Dressed for work. Went through the motions of my day and went home. Few knowing what was happening beneath the exterior.

What have I been mourning?


I have been mourning the loss of my life's dream(s). Yes, I have mentioned the grieving and uncertainty on this blog before. But, I had been unwilling to let it go. I kept hoping that someday, somehow it would revive...then I could return as if I had never left. Then I got an answer from God that I wasn't ready to hear. Let it DIE.


I didn't want to. I hung on. It seemed like everything I read for weeks - fiction, non-fiction, scripture, non-scripture - over and over I received the same message. Let it DIE.


I could have easily accepted an extended delay. Or, perhaps, even a re-packaging. But, death? Death is so final.

The message is clear. I am to let my dream DIE.


Why? I still don't know the answer to that single question, but I have received my marching orders and am holding on to the hope in John 12:24.

"Truly, truly, I say to you, 

unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; 
but if it dies, it bears much fruit."

Someday, I hope to see the fruit of this difficult choice.

In the midst of an emotional journey, while Encore posts were running on this blog and our one year in the US anniversary came and went. Holiday's were celebrated globally, etc, etc, etc...another major event happened.. Someone died.


Just before Thanksgiving I took a road trip to South Carolina. This was not a vacation. I had been commissioned by a force beyond myself to visit my biological father. I invited myself to his home for a weekend. Thankfully he accepted my imposition. My brother and his wife were also there.

I had not spent that much time with my biological father in approximately two decades. It was a pleasant weekend and I am grateful for that time together. Before taking the trip I had lots of reasons (excuses) why this was a bad idea. I went anyway.

Two days after Christmas I got a phone call from my brother. Our dad shot himself. He committed suicide. His father had committed suicide. His grandfather had committed suicide. Despite the tragedy of this situation I am awed by the grace of God.

God's grace...

• led me to spend a weekend with my birth father, though it didn't make sense
• allowed me to forgive pains from the past so that the time spent together was pleasant
• brought family members from all over the nation to celebrate his life
• placed me back in America so I could be part of that reunion (participation would not have been possible if I was still overseas)

I have no answers. I only see a small portion of a much bigger reality. I am still processing it all. My writing on this blog will likely come in starts and stops over the coming weeks - sometimes on, sometimes not. I will share what I think is appropriate...when it is appropriate. I have received cards from all over the US since this event. I thank all of you for your support.

just Sheri, because of God's grace

2011 year in review: joy(ful)

The chosen theme for 2011 was audacious joy. It was primarily "audacious" because at the time of selecting this theme my world was in shambles. Everything was out of whack, off kilter. Uncertainty abounded. We were both unemployed and moving continents for the third time in less than two years. The few things we owned were held in embargo in Africa. We were living in a new place (Virginia), where we were strangers and unfamiliar with our surroundings. The pressure on our relationship was almost more than it could bear. I looked at my circumstances, which were heartbreaking, and in response I chose joy.

Shortly after choosing the theme for 2011 I read a scripture in Habakkuk 3 that summarized my position.

Habakkuk 3:17-18
Though the fig tree should not blossom,
nor fruit be on the vines,
the produce of the olive fail
and the fields yield no food,
the flock be cut off from the fold
and there be no herd in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the Lord:
I will take joy in the God of my salvation.


In February, I received a job offer for my current position. Employment was a welcome blessing. Kenyon was blessed with the position he wanted at a hospital in the area beginning in June.

In March, the shipping company found a way around the embargo and our stuff arrived on our doorstep. If you knew the specifics, you would know this was miraculous.

In April, we found an apartment and began to re-establish our lives in a new place. God met our need and then blessed us to overflowing. We were given enough household goods to actually set-up house.

Living in the US is like living a 5-star existence (especially in comparison to our previous locations), but the amount of grumbling and complaining remains a mystery (and frustration) to me. Once again, the Bible provided guidance - joy is NOT determined by circumstances whether they be want or plenty. The comedian  Groucho Marx reminded me that joy is a choice.

I had plenty of days with tears and wallowing. Troubles have not ceased. But, on the days when I chose joy - joy is what defined my day. Joy is a choice. As often as possible, choose joy.

In summary, in the year of audacious joy - God showed up. He showed himself to be faithful - even in my disbelief.

just Sheri, more joyful

What kind of gift can I give to the King?

Christmas is upon us. A season of celebration- though the reason is often lost in the noise of a commercial holiday. We are celebrating the birth of a special baby. That child changed the world. That child changed the course of history (literally the calendar we use to this day). Whatever one may think about Jesus - His influence on earth cannot be denied. Thousands of years after his death he still has millions of followers. His name is still relevant because we remember it and have formed opinions on him - like or dislike. 

I count myself one of his followers. I call him "my King."

I was recently reminded of a deep spiritual truth through a children's song I knew as a child.  It leaves me asking myself an important question on this day...

What kind of gift can I give to my King?

Question:

What can I give to the King?

Give to the One who has everything?

What can I give?

What gift can i bring?

What can I give to the King?

What can I give to the King?

Answer:

Give Him a heart that's opened up wide

Give Him a life that's got nothing to hide

Give Him a love that's tender and true

And He'll give it all back to you

Yes, He'll give it all back to you

Question:

What can we give to the King?

Give to the One who has everything?

What can we give?

What gift can we bring?

What can we give to the King?

What can we give to the King?

Answer:

Give Him all glory, His people on earth

Give Him all praises, this day of His birth

Give Him all honor in all that we do

As He's given His life to you

As He's given His life to you

Question:

What can we give to the King?

Give to the One who has everything?

What can we give to the King?

What can we give to the King?

What is your answer to this question?

Happy...Birthday!

Today, is my dad's birthday. So, while many are celebrating a spooky holiday - this day means something different to me. Our recent trip to China was a birthday celebration for each of us - after mine and before his, but traveling to a foreign land together (one of our favorite things to do).

For those of you who started reading this blog in the last couple of years, you may not know, but Bob is my adopted dad. We made it legal about six years ago. At that time, Fiona threw us an adoption party. It was a special day and I am so grateful to have this man in my life. I love you, Bob!

just Sheri, blessed and celebrating

birthday celebration(s)

I celebrated a birthday this weekend...well, I actually celebrated ALL weekend even though it was only supposed to be one day (Sunday). Thanks is due to my wonderful family and friends for making this a special birthday.

I returned from a work trip on Friday night. What greets me? Presents! My mom and dad had each sent me something from New Mexico - my mom sent a giant box. It was sitting in the entry way and it was a great surprise...like Christmas in September.

In fact, she spoiled me rotten as she also had flowers delivered to our door - arriving Saturday. I LOVE flowers!

Also on Saturday my student surprised me with a homemade cake. It was pretty enough to decorate a wedding table - and tasty too!

Saturday night was the only planned event. Kenyon had invited a few of my girlfriends to join us for dinner. Phim made the dinner party extra special. When we arrived, there was a large "Happy Birthday" balloon and my second bouquet of flowers for the day - happy flowers.

She also had a gift basket of some of my favorite Asian foods - tropical fruits like mangoes and lychee. She included ingredients for Pho, green curry and panang. I tore in to the lychee before we even ordered food. Mmm....

This is my friend Vanessa. You may recognize her from a previous post. We met when she was a graduate student at KU and I was working there. That feels like an eternity ago. A lot has happened since then! She is from Brazil and has been in the DC area on a short term work contract. This was her last weekend in the DMV. I am soooo glad she came to celebrate with us. I am going to miss her, it was such a treat having her close.

If I am going to get two bouquets of flowers in one day - why not two cakes?

The celebrations continued in to Sunday with a lesson in "indigenous" green curry preparations - then a feast while watching the premiere of my favorite show - Amazing Race. Monday I was still getting presents. The most surprising was from one of Kenyon's co-workers. A woman I have never met gave me a gift I love - a book. I love books, probably even more than I love flowers. I got a lot of love by email from all over the globe. How I miss the precious people I have met along the road.

Last year, we celebrated at a Thai restaurant in Maputo, Mozambique with some of my missionary friends and national colleagues. A lot has changed in a year!

just Sheri, another year older

Quotable Quotes: Liberty

"There are those who will say the liberation of humanity, the freedom of man and mind is nothing but a dream. They are right. It is the American Dream." ~ Archibald MacLeish, American Poet, 1892-1982 On this, the 4th of July, a day dedicated to celebrating our freedom - I wonder if we have lost sight of the dream? This day means more than just time off work, grilling out, and watching fireworks. It stands for something powerful - freedom. Freedom is granted in varying degrees around the globe. The one common thread is that the poorest, weakest, and most vulnerable are most often denied the virtues of freedom. Instead, these are enslaved, oppressed, or cast out. This confinement of liberty and restriction of freedom isn't someone else's problem. It is happening here, in America. We are establishing or undermining the virtues of these ideals with the policies we endorse...and especially those that become law. "I would rather belong to a poor nation that was free than to a rich nation that had ceased to be in love with liberty." ~ Woodrow T. Wilson, 28th President of the United States just Sheri,  contemplating the reason for celebration

Mom's day

I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me.  

They have clung to me all my life.  ~Abraham Lincoln

One day a year families try as they might to honor the mother's in their lives...but what gift can you give to someone who cleaned up after you, put up with your crying as a child, tantrums as a toddler, and tolerated the rolling eyes of a teenager? There is no gift that is good enough. It doesn't exist.

The gift I have tried to give is one of a life well lived. This is a gift that comes everyday, not just one day a year. 

In recent months, I realized one of the difficulties of being a mother when we lived with a family for a number of months. The only way I can describe it is, that once you have a child a mother has to live the rest of her life with her heart walking around outside of her body.

I know that my mom loves her children dearly. I know she raised me to believe that God designed me for a purpose. She dedicated my life to Kingdom purposes while still in gestation and then did the best she could to point me to God. I am eternally grateful for that gift.

Happy Mother's Day to all the momma's out there.

just Sheri, my mother's daughter

to women on Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is a difficult holiday for many...frankly, it leaves most unhappy due to unmet expectations. Being alone and not wanting it to be that way. Being with someone and being disappointed with their efforts at romance. Every year I watch women be unhappy on this day. I don't like it.

I invented the Valentine's Elf in response to this unfortunate circumstance. The Valentine's Elf randomly delivers flowers to single women. This year, I don't have the dollars to buy the flowers for all those I would like to acknowledge...but I managed to buy for a few in my new town. Maybe next year I can do a mass delivery?

If you didn't get flowers, or candy, or have a date planned...I want you to know something. You are special, even if no one acknowledges it on this day.

Isaiah 43:4...you ARE precious, honored and loved [by God].

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

just Sheri, the money strapped Valentine's Elf