the great divide

I have recently realized something about myself that I do not like and want to change. I am not really sure how to write about it as it is something we don't normally talk about in the United States. When I first returned to my homeland one of the things I noticed was the obvious class divide, people who have wealth hang with others who are wealthy - never knowing and rarely interacting with those who are less fortunate. Perhaps the generous rich will write a check to an agency to help the poor, or on special occasions they may even give of their time, but do they invite someone who is poor to their home? are they intimately familiar with their circumstance? do they walk beside someone who is struggling financially? These are few and far between.

Research has shown that relationship/friendship is the best pathway out of poverty. A meaningful connection with just one person who can give a hand up will help change the oppression of generational poverty.

I knew immediately upon my return to the U.S. that I must be intentional in building relationships across class lines. I tried to do this in being selective about how I spend my time and who I spent time with.

Fast forward nearly three years (yes, we have been back in the States for nearly three years) and my intentions are for not. During the government shutdown when I heard that families who receive WIC (women, infant and children subsidies for necessities like food) were not going to receive their payments. I wanted to help. That is when I came to the uncomfortable realization that I live a sheltered life. While those I know have struggles, nearly all of the people I spend time with on a regular basis have good jobs, an emergency saving fund, a nice home and are not struggling to survive.

I don't like this truth. I don't want it to remain my reality. If I really believe the best way to help people who are struggling is through connection/relationship - then why am I not living that truth? My family was a recipient of WIC subsidies when I was growing up, it was a matter of circumstance not a reflection of effort. How can I now be so far removed from those in a similar circumstance? I find this unacceptable. I aim to change it. I would rather have Luke 14: 12-14 be true of me:

"When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your bothers or sisters, your relatives, or rich neighbors, if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous."

I am not sure how to bridge the great divide among classes in the U.S., but I hope to start in my circle of friends.

just Sheri, a sheltered professional

finish well

This is the year of faithfulness, and true to form my faithfulness is being tested.

In June, I quit my job. The reasons are complicated and long contemplated.

Until the end of my last day I worked just as hard as I always had. I did the job to the best of my ability. I put in extra hours (nights and weekends). At times, I questioned my own sanity, but I never questioned the value of the effort. I left at 8:40pm, Friday, August 30 knowing that I had worked hard on behalf of those my former employer serves. I pushed through the weariness. I did all I could to set-up my replacement for success. I fought off excuses like "it doesn't matter, because in a few weeks I won't be there anyway." I made a commitment to finish well and gave my best effort to keep that commitment. Would I have preferred a leisurely summer? Absolutely! Will all that hard work be noticed or appreciated? That wasn't the motivation.

The finish well campaign was about the condition of my heart and the content of my character. Will I do whatever it takes even if no one is watching? Will I do it though a reward for the effort is unlikely?

I did what I believed to be the right thing to do, both in exiting my employer and in giving it my all to the very end.

The end of one chapter also marks the beginning of another - I still don't have a clear picture of the future, but I know my next steps and plan to implement these lessons on faithfulness in my new circumstance.

just Sheri, learning to push through

marital communication 601: familiar voice

I've noticed something in recent months, my husband and I have been married long enough now that I recognize his voice anywhere. He can call without introducing himself, even without the assistance of caller ID I know it is him by voice alone. We can be in the company of a group and I can locate him simply by the sound of his voice, which to my ears is distinct among a crowd.

There are others in my life that have a distinct voice - my adopted dad for instance. I know my mom's voice on the phone, but in a family crowd she sounds like some of her sisters. My brother's voice sounds to me a lot like our biological father's. But, it is all in the family and there is a comfort in the familiarity of their voice.

I suspect there is a level of intimacy a relationship reaches when one's voice becomes this familiar to us. God wants us to know him in that way too. There is a story in John 10: 1-5 about sheep knowing their shepherd's voice, in this story we are the sheep and he is the shepherd:

"Let me set this before you as plainly as I can. If a person climbs over or through the fence of a sheep pen instead of going through the gate, you know he’s up to no good—a sheep rustler! The shepherd walks right up to the gate. The gatekeeper opens the gate to him and the sheep recognize his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he gets them all out, he leads them and they follow because they are familiar with his voice. They won’t follow a stranger’s voice but will scatter because they aren’t used to the sound of it.”

just Sheri, listening for the sound of a familiar voice

2013 theme: siempre fiel (always faithful)

Let love and faithfulness never leave you;

bind them around your neck,

write them on the tablet of your heart. Proverbs 3:3

Image: Zenia via Flickr

If you are a faithful reader of this blog, then you know that I gave up New Year's resolutions many moons ago. However, I do use the start of a new year as a time of reflection. In the place of a resolution, I create a personal development plan. There are various sections: physical, relational, intellectual, and spiritual. I write it down and check back in multiple times throughout the year. This approach has produced far superior results to a single resolution. 

I borrowed the idea from a Pastor I once heard at an inner-city church in Kansas City; I made it my own by giving each development plan a theme, usually centered around a fruit of the spirit. This "fruit" is a character quality I want to grow in my life.

This year's theme: faithfulness in small things

There was a time when I had a BIG dream. Then I was afforded the opportunity to live my calling. For some reason unknown to me, these things were stripped away - leaving me with questions about identity and the future. I made a choice to press on, but the struggle with contentment and a lack of a defined purpose remained.

I have begged and pleaded for a renewed sense of purpose, for some kind of instruction about what is next. I have received the same answer for an extended period of time:

I Peter 4:2 From now on, then, you must live the rest of your earthly lives controlled by God's will and not by human desires.

For this period of time I have been trying to rise each day to receive my marching orders, then carry them out. However, I don't rise each day anticipating or listening for marching orders. Even when I receive them, I don't always carry them out.

Enter the theme of faithfulness...It is my aim to listen, anticipate, and act. No task is too small. Negotiating is unproductive. Delaying reduces the potential impact. Act immediately. When I have done this, the results have been staggering. I have been used as a tool of encouragement or provision to meet needs I was not told about directly. While I may not have know, God knew. As a result of my obedience, these folks felt loved by our Heavenly Father because He was the one they were crying out to for direction or relief.

This year, I am making a conscious effort to be faithful in the small things...things that could be interpreted as insignificant, but matter a LOT to those who are discouraged or hurting.

just Sheri, hoping to be transformed in to a faithful servant

Valentine's Elf: variation on a theme

There is a young woman that I meet with weekly. She is in college. She and her boyfriend are planning their future together. She has lots of dreams in her heart that she'd like to make reality. During one of our meetings we were talking about the importance of kindness. I shared with her what my mentor Premdas shared with me...Acts 1:1. We are charged to follow Jesus example by doing and teaching - in that order.

She had no idea about my annual Valentine's tradition of delivering roses. But she told me she had been thinking about Acts 1:1 and decided to buy 75 roses to deliver to her neighbors on Valentine's Day. On this day, I became her apprentice. V-day morning I showed up at her house. We made a small card for each one and delivered them to homes in her neighborhood. While most people weren't home, we hoped it would bless the residents when they arrived.

Following her lead, I bought some roses and gave them to my neighbors that evening when I got off work. I received a BIG hug in response from my next door neighbor who is a single mom from Ghana.

I love this tradition and have kept it alive for many years, in various forms, depending on where we lived and what was available to me. This year, frankly, I was discouraged and wondering if any of my efforts to make the world a better place have been worth it or if I was just wasting time and energy. I had no intentions of keeping my tradition this year. I just didn't have the heart...that was until I heard Jo's plan. Her plan became my plan. Instead of one there were two of us conspiring to bless others. It was a lot of fun and was the highlight of my week.

Thank you, Johanna, for encouraging my heart and carrying on the Valentine's Elf tradition...without even knowing the tradition existed.

just Sheri, a reinvigorated Valentine's Elf

house rules: no spectators

Spectator: an observer of an event

When I host a game night at our house, there is one rule: no spectators. Sure, it can be entertaining to watch. It's a lot more comfortable to sit and observe than to create...it's also a lot easier to be a critic from the side lines. 

I make this rule because we [humans] are made to be active participants, rather than observers. The best products, or experiences, come when shared and each person gives their unique contribution. Criticism becomes more constructive when there is "skin in the game" or ownership of the activities and their end product.

I shared this house rule at a recent birthday party with friends: no spectators.

I've been thinking about it in relation to church.

[insert photo of one person at the front speaking and all others sitting and listening]

Church wasn't made to be a spectator sport. It wasn't meant to be entertainment that we come to watch. While it might be more comfortable to sit and observe rather than to create - we miss out on life changing, full on, mind blowing experiences; because our comfort zone keeps those things out. An environment where ownership isn't shared is ripe for criticism and discontent - when things aren't going right, who's problem is it? Not mine. I am not in charge, they are.

I want to be a part of something where folks are engaged. Where things are happening and where each person's unique contribution (regardless of age, gender, race, or background) has a place to grow and develop and be shared. Me and a few of my friends are setting out on an adventure to create such a place. 

Where will it lead? Only God knows....

just Sheri, embarking on a new adventure

director of the everyday, tedious, and mundane

In one of two book clubs which I am a member, we were discussing contentment. Many people spend their life looking forward to the next thing - when I...am older...married...have kids...am finished with school...retire...change jobs. When..the kids are older...

You get the picture. We think we will be content "when" - which really means "we will be content when?"

I have done this - looking forward to when, rather than finding contentment in the present.

But, that is not my current struggle. My current struggle is looking back. When my life was my ministry. When I woke each morning with a strong sense of purpose. When my days were consumed by a calling much bigger than I. When I was living the adventure with those who were consumed by it too. Aahhh, those were the days...when can I get back to that?

Though the question is different, the result is the same. DISCONTENT.

Through the course of the subsequent months I have been trying to root out my discontent. My biggest struggle is my job. I have a good job, it just doesn't engage my heart the way previous work did. I am the director of everyday, mundane, and tedious responsibilities. I shuffle paper from one place to another, write emails and answer phones. The decisions that are made between the paper shuffling and professional communications do make a difference to many who are doing good, life-saving work. 

So, I show up each day and try to convince myself that it matters that I am sitting in my desk chair shuffling paper, responding to email and answering phones. I try to follow Jehoshaphat's instructions to ancient judges to "serve faithfully and wholeheartedly in the fear of the Lord." 

I want to be skilled at my work, but also satisfied with the task. I am asking God to change my heart. In place of restlessness, put peace. In place of discontent, put satisfaction. I must stop looking back and press on...toward whatever lies ahead.

just Sheri, reaching for the title of "surprisingly satisfied"

What would you do for love? part 2

In a previous post I asked the question: "what would you do for love?" At the time, we were making a sacrificial choice for family born of the heart. I deeply love this family, they are still an important part of my life.

Some folks questioned this choice, asking why any of this was my responsibility. They often told me the responsibility should belong to someone else. I wrote about this in a post titled, who's responsible?

I am facing a similar situation today. There has been a young woman who recently entered our lives. She is experiencing a tough time. In recent months we have provided food, shelter, rides, and companionship. It doesn't matter that we are not related and, frankly, didn't know one another a couple of months ago.

I believe when someone is in need we should do what we can to help them. I am trying to live out that belief. Is it easy? Not at all. Is it rewarding? Rarely. Is it important? I believe it is of the utmost importance -a matter of life and death - and of eternal value.

I write this post, not to brag on myself - but to encourage others to do what they can for another. It matters a LOT. Be there for someone. They need you.

just Sheri, attempting to be there for another

What church are you with?

In November, a few friends and I participated in a random act of kindness. We made some welcome home baskets for families who had been displaced by flooding last year and are now returning to their renovated homes. During the delivery of these baskets to homes, one of the families asked: "what church are you with?"

Well, we weren't with any one church. My two friends each attend different church buildings on Sunday, I myself am currently in what I call a "displaced" state (not feeling at home in any one place).

I have contemplated this question quite a bit in the weeks that followed - what church are you with?

Isn't the church made up of people? My friends and I - we ARE the church. 

Why does it matter that we don't have a clearly defined institution to affiliate with? We are Christ's ambassadors; not marketing agents for a particular building/denomination/pastor. The glory (or credit) should be attributed to Christ alone.

I think the next time I am asked this question, I will smile and say, "we are here because God loves you and He asked us to show you that love today."

We, you and me, ARE the church. God isn't interested in a building, or titles, but the condition of our hearts. 

What have you done recently to show Christ's love to another?

just Sheri, ambassador for Christ

culture shock: voluntary prison

I went on a road trip recently with a couple of ladies from Africa. One is visiting for a few months since her daughter just had a third child. I asked how her visit has been, this led to an interesting conversation about American cultural norms.

In America, we exit the car in our driveway and immediately head inside our home, rarely greeting our neighbors. Once inside, we generally close and lock the door behind us. Most homes have large windows to let in light or frame a view, but the windows are usually shut and covered with closed blinds or curtains drawn. I suppose this is for privacy and security. My friend had an interesting perspective on this - she called it "voluntary prison."

Photo by Stefano Costanzo via Fotopedia

We shut ourselves in and keep others out. We rarely engage with those in close proximity to us. We do this while living in the land of freedom and prosperity.  The majority of outings are to go to work, shops, or regularly scheduled meetings (like church). We started calling our road trip her "Prison Break."

I hadn't thought of this as a voluntary prison, but I noticed this myself since returning to America.

In our neighborhood, I make a point of talking to neighbors. When I see them outside, I wave enthusiastically and say, "Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening!" The looks I get are usually surprise and uncertainty.

I am sure there have been times folks thought, "Who is this crazy lady waving at me? She must think she knows me." Some people pretend not to see me, which only encourages me further. Some folks wave back hesitantly. What I've noticed is the more I do it, some folks now expect it and participate willingly.

There is an older gentleman who is often on his front stoop. I see him as I walk the neighborhood in the afternoons. He used to be reluctant to respond to my greetings. Now I get a smile, a wave, and a "how are you doing?"

When we lock ourselves up in voluntary prison - we miss out on relationship building opportunities. I am okay with being the crazy lady in the neighborhood. Why? Because people matter to God and therefore they matter to me. Though the culture of my origin tells me to isolate myself, distrust my neighbors and "act normal." I choose a different path.

Romans 12:2 (The Message)
"Don't become so well adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking..."

Are there cultural norms you have chosen to reject? Is there something you value more than "fitting in?"

just Sheri, defined by Christ rather than my culture

Naming my fear

Earlier this year I wrote a post on paralyzing fear. Then a few weeks ago I was reading a book that challenged readers to name their fear, in order to overcome it.

I am taking it a step further - I am not only naming my fear, but I am posting it publicly for the whole world to see. Why? Because I refuse to let it have power over me any more.

What am I afraid of? Loss.

I have experienced some intense heartache over the years. Once upon a time I did meaningful work that consumed me. I loved my work and invested my whole self in it. I invested deeply in relationships. I was ALL in! Then I had to leave that work and those relationships. It broke my heart.

As if that wasn't tough enough, I had to do it again a couple of years later. Then again a year later, Then again a year after that. By the fourth time, I was already growing apprehensive of investing myself in meaningful work or relationships. But now, it is best categorized as a paralyzing fear.

Sure, I am dissatisfied with my "normal" life - waking each day to go to a job. Coming home to do it all again the next day. But, my fear of being ALL in and having that ripped from me again outweighs my discontent with normal.

Like a heartbroken teenager, I am scared to love again. I am scared to invest myself deeply and then be uprooted (again). I am scared to open myself up to relationships and then have to say good-bye (again), with  no idea when or where we will reunite. My heart is unsure it could love again like that. It is unsure if it would recover from such a fate.

But, when I look back at the relationships I built around the globe and the people and places that still hold a piece of my heart, I am reminded of Tennyson's poem (In Memoriam: 27, 1850): 

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all. 

2 Timothy 1:7 For God gave us not a spirit of fearfulness; but of power and love and discipline. 

What are you afraid of?

just Sheri, working to overcome fear

inspiring community

I have a friend, I call him "my prophet" because God has used him, on more than one occasion, to speak truth to me - especially when I didn't want to hear it. My friend has been going through a tough time of unemployment.

"The church" (meaning Christ followers) have done so much in this extended time of struggle - as an observer, it is encouraging to the heart. My friend visited a Sunday service and filled out a prayer card. As the weeks turned in to months, the pastor of that church called often to "check-in." My friend couldn't give money due to his circumstance and eventually moved to another state because he lost his housing in Virginia - the pastor kept calling.Why? Because he cares for people.

People, even those who never met my friend, gave money to help. Because they cared about those who are struggling.

When my friend moved to the new state he attended another Sunday service. This group welcomed in the stranger, not just to make him feel welcome, but when they heard of his plight - they gave up food and interceding on his behalf that God would intervene.

When my friend got a job and announced this news - this group cheered audibly and celebrated with him.

There was a church the Hubs and I attended for a number of months, and at the end of each service people would join hands and pray for one another - whoever was next to them, whatever the Spirit put on their heart. Near the end of prayer time, the pastor would say a similar prayer each week. There was one part that I will always remember, "God bless my neighbor...and help me celebrate their success as if it were my own."

When my friend announced his good news - a spontaneous celebration erupted on his behalf. When my friend described it to me, it brought tears to my eyes. How wonderful that there is a group who cares so compassionately for those in need.

just Sheri, celebrating (from a distance) the success of another

Quotable Quotes: a sojourners life

Jesus bids us to come and follow, "To respond to this calling is to accept that you will be a sojourner relinquishing the security of being a settler. To follow Him is to choose to forever be an alien and stranger in this world." ~Erwin McManus

what are you waiting for?

I recently heard a message from Pastor Steven Furtick. The topic: waiting.

Pastor Furtick challenges us to redefine waiting. Waiting isn't passive, it's active. He describes a scene of a restaurant. The "waiter" is not the one sitting at the booth, but the one carrying the tray and serving. He says, "You can spend your whole life waiting for God to do something for you, that he has already done...to give you something that is already yours."

I have witnessed this - God give me joy, wisdom, strength or favor. But, according to His word when we are in relationship with Him, obedient to His word, these things are already ours. Why are we asking for what we already have?

I have done this - God give me peace, love, or patience. In Him, I already have these things...if I let Him work in and through me.

I don't want to miss out on life, waiting for God to answer a prayer that He has already promised. I will serve Him in "the waiting room," ready for the next instruction.

just Sheri, actively waiting

ongoing negotiations

I've been trying to negotiate with God for an extended period of time (years). When I left my dream job where I was doing work that I believed to be meaningful, with people that I cared about deeply - I started negotiating with God.

Okay, God, I will walk away from this if I could be a mom. This seemed a reasonable option to me because I viewed it as an acceptable trade-off. I was still working for the same organization in a different role that I thought prioritized my family over work...hoping that our family would grow. This was in 2009.  I've changed jobs and locations since, each time asking God to grant my request. Years later we remain childless.

There have been times I begged God to take away the desire to be a mother because it is too painful to keep hoping. He has not granted this request either.

The end of 2011 I went to a medical professional and asked the question - is there a biological reason this isn't happening? Why haven't I been able to conceive? Her answer was even more painful than expected. There is no explanation. I should be able to...but haven't. Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?Why? Why?

I don't have an answer and none of my attempts have worked. Since my medical visit I believe God has told me I will be a mom - through a vivid dream and the words of others. Weeks after going to the doctor I had a dream I was pregnant, it was as if I was experiencing all the changes I have heard a body goes through during that time. I believe God told me to trust Him for my future. In waking hours I chalked the dream up to having "baby" on the brain. Then a friend I met through my previous work told me she felt like she needed to tell me I am going to be a mom. She lives in a different state and didn't even know I had been to the doctor or had the dream. A few weeks later I was with a group from church. After a time of prayer, a man I hardly know came up to me and said, "have you been trying to have kids?" I think he knew the answer from my face as my eyes involuntarily well up with tears every time it is mentioned.

He said, "I feel God wants you to know it is going to happen."

Months later, it still hasn't. Recently Kenyon and I decided to try the adoption option again. I have begun the research phase, gathering as much information as I can so we can make an informed decision - hopefully with a successful outcome (this time). I don't think either of us would recover well from another failed attempt. Chandani's picture remains on our fridge reminding us of the pain of a broken heart and unfulfilled dreams. She is our little girl that we could not bring home.

just Sheri, risking in spite of fear

if you can't go yourself...send others

Once upon a time I lived a different life. I loved many things about that life and still hope that some day it will, again, be my reality. Since that doesn't seem like a possibility in the near future, I made a decision...

I have met many amazing folks on the journey of life. I have seen LOTS of people doing life changing work. I received a couple of funding requests in the last couple of months when I was considering how to invest in the work - from afar. I decided...to give to their mission.

I look forward to receiving the reports of their work in the months to come. I hope to be a source of encouragement during the challenging times. I am grateful there are couples and families willing to leave the familiar and go to strange places in order to serve others. I am inspired by those moved by passion to do something to make the world a better place. I am honored to support them in their efforts.

I assume this is just the next step in the transition. I don't think my heart will ever stop longing to "go" myself - but that doesn't mean I have to be a spectator.

just Sheri, accepting the supporting actor role

don't worry...trust instead

If you watched the news in recent weeks you may have heard that Virginia had a massive, freak wind storm recently. The storm left millions without power, brought down trees, tore off siding. In the community where we live it knocked out the emergency 911 system...and the back-up emergency system.

Here's what's amazing...we were clueless. Absolutely. Positively. Completely oblivious.

Without TV, we didn't watch the news. So, we didn't know we were supposed to be afraid.

Instead, we watched a movie on the laptop. Went to sleep. Slept soundly. Then woke to find the world had changed.

We were lucky to have been spared - we had electricity, but no internet or cell phones as the storm had knocked out the entire system.

I have told this story a few times since the storm. Each time it has me thinking of this scripture in Matthew...

Matthew 6:27
Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?


What would we have done had we known in advance the storm was coming? We would have worried...okay, I will speak for myself. I would have worried. What if...what will we do?

What we will do is deal with whatever comes - just as we did. What would worrying have got me? Less rest.

This was an important lesson, as I was able to avoid worry and rest in perfect peace. I think that is the message of Matthew 6. Don't worry. Trust God. He's got this.

Thank you, God, for providing peace in the midst of storms - literally and figuratively.

just Sheri, learning about trust in the year of "perfect peace"

the BEST birthday party

I have made some friends here in Virginia who are originally from Liberia. We bonded because they didn't know many American's who had been to their country - West Africa is not exactly a top tourist destination. Since most of my travels were not as a tourist, but instead as an international development worker, I had not only been to Liberia but to some of the more remote parts outside the capital city of Monrovia.

This post is not about my past travels. It is about the encouragement I have received from these gentlemen.

They have been in a tough situation in recent months. No income. Distant from family and long-time friends. Dreams that were taken from them by self-serving individuals. Injustice suffered. Trying to survive in a place where they are not welcome. An uncertain future. The ripple effects of someone's choice has been heartbreaking to witness. Not only are they suffering undeserved consequences, but so are their children.

Many times I have thought, "If I were in their circumstances..." What I know is I would not be handling it with such grace. I am, after all, an American and thus consider it an injustice when someone cuts in front of me in line or too closely while driving.

Last night we were talking about African politics, the American presidential election, scripture and more...as we do when we get together. I always ask how they are doing. They always tell me amazing ways that God is meeting their needs and the generous people who are helping them.

Last night one of the men informed me that it was recently his daughters birthday back in Liberia. At her school they had a birthday list posted on the wall. The kids would look forward to their day because their parents would bring in snacks and a party would be thrown in their honor. As it grew closer to her birthday his wife and he were sad for their daughter as they could not do this for her given his current, and unfortunate, circumstances. They decided to lift their concern up to God.

When the birthday came, a generous soul gave to meet this need. Not because they were asked, but out of care for this family. My friend told me, with the biggest smile on his face, that his daughter had the BEST birthday party of any all year. It brought tears to my eyes (even today as I retell this story).

Kindness is a beautiful thing. A birthday celebration can offer hope. Don't ignore those quiet promptings to be generous - you have no idea what it could mean in the life of another.

just Sheri, inspired by the faith and kindness of others

paralyzed by fear

Recently as part of my job I was spending a morning at a therapeutic horse ranch with a group of teenagers diagnosed with Autism. I learned quite a bit about the relationship between horses and humans, and the positive affect this relationship can have on kids with disabilities That's not what I left thinking about.

Horses are powerful beings, both in strength and ability. But, they have some instinctual fears. So, if a tarp is laid on the ground, they are afraid to step on it. Through the trusting relationship with the human guide they will work through this fear.

I am like that horse. I have fears - maybe because of past experience or maybe for no reason at all. These fears may stop me in my tracks, paralyzing me from moving forward. Thankfully, I have a guide. My Heavenly Father has walked me through many situations that later I look back on and think "why was I so afraid?"

What fear has you paralyzed? Who has been your guide through past fears?


just Sheri, aware of my own limitations

a place to call "home"

I have been told a few times, "Sheri, I am surprised you bought a home."

Or, I have been asked, "why?"

There are financial considerations - low interest rates, rock bottom prices, a tax-deduction and what I call "rent control" (meaning no annual increase on rent pricing).

There are space considerations - I was limited on how many guests I could have at our apartment and we really had no space for overnight guests.

But, mostly it was emotional considerations. Kenyon prefers a place to call home and I needed to end the "transitional" feeling.  It was NOT good for my psyche to live in an apartment where I felt like I could pick up and leave at any time...mostly because I really wanted to pick up and leave. Mentally, I needed to feel like I was staying in a place.

I recently shared this with my Uncle who then shared a scripture with me.  This was originally given to the Jews, but as their decedent I am claiming it too.

2 Samuel 7:9, 10
I [God] have been with you wherever you have gone...And I will provide a place for my people and will plant them so they can have a home of their own and no longer be disturbed...


That is my prayer for our home. That it will be established by God, for a purpose. That it will be a peaceful place, a place of rest - where we, as well as others, can come and no longer be disturbed. There are plenty of disturbing things in this world, peaceful places are too few and far between.

just Sheri, praying God will establish our home